Wa lao eh, so many days never write liao. Now then got strength.
Last week Tuesday when I take taxi to go back my car, I also a bit scared, dunno whether got Hell Parking Ticket or not (if kena dunno is pay with Hell money or not).
When I walk to my car, park near the old tree, I saw my car whole body cover with so many bird shits (KNNBCCB!!!!!) and I also saw two paper on the glass (KNNBCCB again!!!!!). My hand shake and I take the two paper.
The first one say Henry Lim say my car very nice and he want to buy my car for good price, call his handphone now.
Cheebye! I thought is what! So I throw away.
Then I look at the second one, which look like a parking summon. I thinking Die! Must be the hungry ghost "parking auntie" give me one. Why like this? I never do anything to her or say her bad things, but she still put this kind of dirty thing on my car! Why?
The paper is fold, so I open it......
Chow CHEE BYE!!!!!!
Its be worse than I thought! It is REAL summon!
Must be I leave the car here over night and then the real parking auntie come back and give me summon!!!
I see the bird shits and I see the summon, I feel like very angry.
Very very angry. Angry until I feel very hot. Like got fever like this.
Whole body hot. Hot until skin also red colour.
Angry until got bad headache want to faint.
Angry until want to vomit.
Wah I never angry until like this before, I thought, how come so hot so red so tired? And how come suddenly everything look so blur?
Then Raymond call me and ask me I got go and get back my car or not, and I tell him yes got, and I also tell him I feel hot and my skin is red colour like kena sun burn like that. Then Raymond shout at me "Aiya cheebye lah! You got the deng gew fever lah! You kena bite by the Aids mosquito!"
I hear Aids mosquito I panic. Got such mosquito one? Is it a gay mosquito? (Gahmen always like to say Aids is the gay disease) And what is deng gew fever? Why get this fever must say deng gew?
At first I got the fever, I just bo hiew, still go to work, dowan to tio kan. But then by the afternoon, I cannot tahan liao, so I go to the hospital A and E to check in.
Nabei the hospital so fucking busy. A lot of people sick like this. I saw many Bangra worker also. Must be their cheebye employer never take care them, put them 20, 30 people inside one small room. One guy kena sick, all kena sick.
I wait and wait and wait. Gahmen say Singapore hospital is world class service very good. Even Lao Lee wife sick in England also fly back here see the Singapore hospital.
Good my backside lah. Must be because my name is RTT, not LKY, I have wait for 5 hours then they test me, then say I got dengue fever (stupid Raymond, bluff me say what Aids mosquito and what deng gew fever, I read the hospital brochure it is the cheebye Aedes mosquito and it is dengue fever lah).
Fuck the mosquito mother backside.
After I get the dengue fever, then the newspaper say Singapore got serious dengue problem. Cheebye now then tell me. If I know earlier, I sure spray the mosquito spray in my house a few more time, and then throw away all the dirty water.
Raymond say must be that day you saw the parking auntie ghost then thats why kena fever. I say lan cheow lah, dengue fever is cause by mosquito not by parking auntie. But just in case, I bath with the flower water and also tell Raymond help me wash my car with the flower water (and first use soap wash the nabei bird shits).
Must be that night I never bring my key back and have to sleep in the void deck then kena the cheebye mosquito bite me.
I already MC for 7 or 8 days liao, today then the fever stop, and I am a bit worried my job. Wait they find excuse make me like Ah Seng like this, no job.
This sialan company like to see people work late late, even though the fucker who stay back is wayang only (I heard Gahmen say wayang no need licence, hahahahaha!!!). And those people who is sick take MC they will fuck upside down. Cheebye no heart company. Bluff sick also fuck, real sick also fuck. Worker is not human one, worker is just robot to them.
I stay in the hospital a few days, in the no aircon ward. What to do, want to save money and use more Medisave (this Medisave money is the Gahmen keep for your coffin until you die one, if don't use then leave in CPF for fuck?). No aircon never mind, but wa lao eh, some of the missy nurse is quite ugly one. Maybe all the chio one is in the A star ward. We all C ward kena the fat ugly nurse, the lao auntie nurse and the most worse one, the man nurse. Nabei not like those XXX show the nurse is all sexy neh neh big big and always want to fuck the patient one.
Every time the man nurse come, I scared he will take me go and bath. My horse is only give girl to play one, not give man to bath one.
At night sometime got one fat ugly missy come to my bed to take my temperature.
When she take my blood for test, she will say wah your muscle very big hor?
She also help me to put the drip, and she laugh heeheehee when she say sorry I poke you ah?
And when I want to go the toilet to pang jio and I need help because of the drip, dunno why she is always the one come and help me pass urine. I see her already I sibei hard to pee.
I think she like me, because she talk to me a lot, and I see her eyes keep looking my horse there. I very scared, wait she rape me and I got the fever and no strength to push her away how? Then I will lao bak sai, like those Taiwan show virgin.
I read so many newspaper because stay in hospital got nothing to do (hospital cannot bring dirty magazine one or else the patient see neh neh cheebye already maybe will get heart attack and die cock stand hahahahaha!!!).
Last few day the newspaper got a lot of news about Small Lee and his National Day speech. Keep saying he cry because he remember 1968 the national day parade kena rain and nobody run away, means those Singaporean very strong and proud of our country.
Cheebye lah. a little bit of rain only call hero ah? Kena rain will melt ah? Fuck lah I do NS that time everyday rain also march in the parade square, how come no prime minister cry for me? Also who dare to run away from the fucking rain in last time NS? The Encik will sent you go DB fuck backside and kena charge. So we got fucking FLOOD also march, man.
And last time 1968 those people who watch the national day parade is those come very far to see the one year one time free show parade, so what is rain, man? And those marching soldier who will dare to run from the rain? The 1968 Encik is even more fierce than my NS time Encik, you dare to run from the rain? He cut off your lan cheow, man.
Last time 1968 cut your men lan cheow in NS is won't get charged one.
Last time 1968 cut your men lan cheow in NS maybe even get medal say you are the best Encik of the whole Singapore army.
And if the 1968 Encik don't cut your lan cheow for running in the rain, Lao Lee will cut your lan cheow for you, plus cut your Encik one too.
I also read got some people go and put 8 white paper elephant near Buangcock MRT station (the one they build already never open because Gahmen say not enough people live there, nabei not enough people live there then build for fuck?). They want to let the minister know they buay song. Singaporean nowadays so daring, dare to like this protest.
Wah, so if more than 4 people get together at CPF building is consider no licence protest, then 8 paper elephant is consider what? Maybe have to be 4 elephant then can call public nonsense?
Lucky when the minister come it never rain, or else the white paper elephants maybe will run away, then make PM cry again.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
Went to Month of Hungry Ghost Festival auction
Last night, Ah Seng invited me to go for the Hungry Ghost auction. I long time never go for one already. He was there as helper. Better than having no job and nothing to do. He every year also got help do this thing anyway.
Computer Boy Lawrence (CB Lawrence hahaha!!) went to Batam with his friends for a fucking weekend. These few days he quite sian, so need to find some way to forget his problem. He told me his company a lot of his old friend left or kena retrench already, especially the Singaporean. Below him all the junior is now from India and on top of him, all the senior is ang moh. He said, I feel like a Singapore hamburger, kena fuck by overseas ah neh in the backside, and kena suck ang moh cock in front. Soon even me also will have no job, kena replace by cheaper PRC, KNNBCCB, he said.
So he said he at work already kena fuck, so might as well go and find girl to fuck on weekend. I hope he got bring his safety belt. Actually I already told Lawrence Seventh Month don't go oversea. Swimming and going oversea is not good idea during the Hungry Ghost month. Not say I pan tang, but better to don't try your luck. You see the Kallang river, every year swallow people. And I heard also got people die in Australia this year. Hungry Ghost month don't fucking play play.
I didn't know he so sian at work. I thought computer line quite ok one. But Lawrence said nowadays what fucking line also not good, except working as gahmen. Last time another good line was NKF charity line, but even that one also now not good job liao, and NKF not only kena whole world condemn them, but I heard now got CAD (the office worker police) play their backside.
Lawrence said he got two choice. Upgrade himself or do illegal pirate business. Go Malaysia get the computer cd cheap cheap, come here and sell. But he saw the three fella kena caught for pirating song so he a bit scared. Like the police don't have murderer or robber to catch, now very free catch the download song people. What the fuck man.
He want to migrate but he said a few of his friends go oversea, same problem, no job. There worse, here in Singapore the ang moh is king, there in other country the ang moh is king and citizen, and they not like Singapore, they give chance to their citizen first.
So I sit at my table with Raymond (I drive him here one), just watching the whole thing. The auction guy can really talk, man. Lai ah lai ah, $888 Fatt fatt fatt ah!!!
What thing also he can sell. The thing all look like cheap thing, but people still bid high high. Got gold got frog got charcoal. All is got good luck type. Cheebye man, if I got money I also buy, who don't need good luck in life, right?
But this year like quieter. People don't bid so high like last time. Not as many getai, auction or wayang. The cheebye president election wayang (dong dong chiang!!!) is not counted, ok, hahahaha!!!
Must be economy is like shit. I dunno how the gahmen can count the growth and say what 4% or 5%. The only thing I see growing is my lan cheow and the price of everything.
Where got 5%? Got!
GST is 5% lor, cheebye! You see the car COE you already know. Low until cannot low. And the Hungry Ghost festival getai and show is all smaller.
Raymond said to me, you know why this year got less auction? Because this year NKF not involve! They too busy let CAD play their kar chng hahaha!!!
Around the auction place is the HDB car park. Many of the car that is park there tonight is the people who come for the auction show one. I can see around 9pm onwards, got some car look like the driver live here one, trying to find their parking lot but all full house. Round and round cannot find. Must be damn toolan for them, pui chow nua. I also no choice, I park until quite far away, the car park is next to some grass land and a big old tree, and the street light not working, a bit dark dark.
A lot of us who park there never put coupon. Because Sunday free, no need to pay. After 10pm then is season parking only. Somemore later if the auntie come we can see and run to our car to drive away.
The place got a lot of smoke. Dunno is it because they burning the joss stick and hell money paper, or is it the Indonesia that side the fire send us the haze.
Nabei, every chow chee bye year the Indonesia side burn the tree, because it is cheap way of make the land good for farming. Every chow chee bye year the Indonesia gahmen act blur, because the Malaysia and Indonesia fucker businessman bribe them to act blur. In the end every chow chee bye year the whole KL and Singapore sky all kena this haze, make people sick, and make me cannot go KL to chiong. Fuck their mothercheebye for this chow chee bye burning. Should lock this dirty businessman inside one house and let them smell their own smoke until they die. Cheebye.
My table also got a few other people. One of them is a hawker, his name is Tua Tow, because his head very big. He say his name is David. I was thinking sound like that singer David Tao, but this one is David the Tua Tow hahahaha!!!
Tua Tow mother was a famous hawker.
We were complaining about how come thing in Singapore getting more and more expensive and harder and harder to survive.
I said to Tua Tow, eh, nowadays the hawker and coffee shop food also getting more expensive liao, cannot even find the $1.50 or $2 price anymore. Why liddat?
He said bo pian. Want to charge less also cannot. Last time my mother is the hawker, the market stall rental is less than $700 one month, Tua Tow said. Now the market kena upgrade to nice nice by Gahmen, the rental go up also. KNNCCB, he said, how to survive? My mother die that time, the Gahmen offer me because I am the son to take over the place, but the rental jump until $2000 plus almost $3000. I don't make the price of my food more expensive, I cannot continue do this line.
Tua Tow said, you just wait lor. Next time no more cheap market food liao. When all the old hawker die, the CCB gahmen will up the rent and your char kuay teow will not be $2 liao.
The auction show run until very late. 11pm still the fella shouting into the microphone $128! $388! $888!!!
Suddenly got one guy shout, Nabei! Auntie lai liao!!!!
This mean the parking auntie come and check, so we all get up and run like siao lang to our car to drive away before they can summon us and give us ang pow. Wa lao eh, the new parking aunties who is private company one now is so fucking on the ball, must be their commission is better.
The two parking auntie that come still is booking the cars in front, so I think good, haven't reach me yet. My baobei car is park inside quite far. But very funny, I walk like walk very long time and never reach my car. Dunno how come. I remember I walk from my car to the auction show that time, feels like only 3 minute. Now the parking auntie come, and I try to go my car, is like more than 15 minute walk.
After a long long time, I can see my car liao. Park next to the broken lamp post, at the grassland there. Cheebye! I saw one auntie standing there going to give me ticket. How I know they send so many auntie come and book people?
I don't understand how come, but this auntie the uniform is not the same as the auntie I saw just now. This auntie is like wearing old parking auntie uniform, not the new private company uniform one. I cannot see her face, maybe because quite dark and I standing a few cars away.
Then I also saw she not using those mini computer to print my ticket, but using the old paper and pen style. I didn't know they still using this kind of parking ticket leh.
I want to go and talk to her and ask to give chance one, but I think nowadays they don't give chance one, somemore she already write her ticket. Aiyah let her book lah. KNNBCCB. So I turn to walk back to join my friends.
When I walking away, I suddenly smell the franjeepenny flower smell and also like heard my name kena call. Rockson... Rockson...
I thought maybe is the wind or Ah Seng is calling me (but cannot be, is a woman voice leh). Anyway I walk back to the auction show. The walk also seem like long time, like 15 minutes like that. Walk walk walk. Like neverending.
When I reach back, Raymond saw me and said wah so fast come back ah?
I look at him and said No what, I go quite long what, dunno why the walk like so far. And somemore KNN kena orh gong by the parking auntie wearing the old uniform one and using old style paper summon.
Raymond look at me funny and said, you kena summon meh?
Ya! Fuck man, I said.
Raymond look at me funny again and said, cannot be what. The two auntie just now came until the first few car, then we all run out that time, they stand there a while, and then go away liao. The two of them never walk to your car that side, you know? So how can you kena summon?
Got kena! I said. Must be a third auntie her minah friend lah!
Raymond said eh, you must be seeing things lah. This car park only got one way in, and we all only saw two auntie come and then go, never go your side. Don't have third auntie lah! And where got auntie now use paper summon one!
I look at him, he look at me.
Want to take taxi? I ask him.
Ya, your car tomorrow morning then come and get lah, Raymond said.
I also say.
So we tell Ah Seng bye bye, and tell Tua Tow good luck his food stall business, and walk very fast to the main road to call taxi.
When I reach home that time, is already about 11.45pm. I walk past my neighbour house and heard their tv got Channel News Asia talking about Small Lee's National Day speech. Must be that time I was at the auction they show the speech one. Never mind, next few days sure got fucking repeat and repeat and repeat.
Then I reach my door.
Then I say KNNBCCB.
I left my house key inside my car.
Computer Boy Lawrence (CB Lawrence hahaha!!) went to Batam with his friends for a fucking weekend. These few days he quite sian, so need to find some way to forget his problem. He told me his company a lot of his old friend left or kena retrench already, especially the Singaporean. Below him all the junior is now from India and on top of him, all the senior is ang moh. He said, I feel like a Singapore hamburger, kena fuck by overseas ah neh in the backside, and kena suck ang moh cock in front. Soon even me also will have no job, kena replace by cheaper PRC, KNNBCCB, he said.
So he said he at work already kena fuck, so might as well go and find girl to fuck on weekend. I hope he got bring his safety belt. Actually I already told Lawrence Seventh Month don't go oversea. Swimming and going oversea is not good idea during the Hungry Ghost month. Not say I pan tang, but better to don't try your luck. You see the Kallang river, every year swallow people. And I heard also got people die in Australia this year. Hungry Ghost month don't fucking play play.
I didn't know he so sian at work. I thought computer line quite ok one. But Lawrence said nowadays what fucking line also not good, except working as gahmen. Last time another good line was NKF charity line, but even that one also now not good job liao, and NKF not only kena whole world condemn them, but I heard now got CAD (the office worker police) play their backside.
Lawrence said he got two choice. Upgrade himself or do illegal pirate business. Go Malaysia get the computer cd cheap cheap, come here and sell. But he saw the three fella kena caught for pirating song so he a bit scared. Like the police don't have murderer or robber to catch, now very free catch the download song people. What the fuck man.
He want to migrate but he said a few of his friends go oversea, same problem, no job. There worse, here in Singapore the ang moh is king, there in other country the ang moh is king and citizen, and they not like Singapore, they give chance to their citizen first.
So I sit at my table with Raymond (I drive him here one), just watching the whole thing. The auction guy can really talk, man. Lai ah lai ah, $888 Fatt fatt fatt ah!!!
What thing also he can sell. The thing all look like cheap thing, but people still bid high high. Got gold got frog got charcoal. All is got good luck type. Cheebye man, if I got money I also buy, who don't need good luck in life, right?
But this year like quieter. People don't bid so high like last time. Not as many getai, auction or wayang. The cheebye president election wayang (dong dong chiang!!!) is not counted, ok, hahahaha!!!
Must be economy is like shit. I dunno how the gahmen can count the growth and say what 4% or 5%. The only thing I see growing is my lan cheow and the price of everything.
Where got 5%? Got!
GST is 5% lor, cheebye! You see the car COE you already know. Low until cannot low. And the Hungry Ghost festival getai and show is all smaller.
Raymond said to me, you know why this year got less auction? Because this year NKF not involve! They too busy let CAD play their kar chng hahaha!!!
Around the auction place is the HDB car park. Many of the car that is park there tonight is the people who come for the auction show one. I can see around 9pm onwards, got some car look like the driver live here one, trying to find their parking lot but all full house. Round and round cannot find. Must be damn toolan for them, pui chow nua. I also no choice, I park until quite far away, the car park is next to some grass land and a big old tree, and the street light not working, a bit dark dark.
A lot of us who park there never put coupon. Because Sunday free, no need to pay. After 10pm then is season parking only. Somemore later if the auntie come we can see and run to our car to drive away.
The place got a lot of smoke. Dunno is it because they burning the joss stick and hell money paper, or is it the Indonesia that side the fire send us the haze.
Nabei, every chow chee bye year the Indonesia side burn the tree, because it is cheap way of make the land good for farming. Every chow chee bye year the Indonesia gahmen act blur, because the Malaysia and Indonesia fucker businessman bribe them to act blur. In the end every chow chee bye year the whole KL and Singapore sky all kena this haze, make people sick, and make me cannot go KL to chiong. Fuck their mothercheebye for this chow chee bye burning. Should lock this dirty businessman inside one house and let them smell their own smoke until they die. Cheebye.
My table also got a few other people. One of them is a hawker, his name is Tua Tow, because his head very big. He say his name is David. I was thinking sound like that singer David Tao, but this one is David the Tua Tow hahahaha!!!
Tua Tow mother was a famous hawker.
We were complaining about how come thing in Singapore getting more and more expensive and harder and harder to survive.
I said to Tua Tow, eh, nowadays the hawker and coffee shop food also getting more expensive liao, cannot even find the $1.50 or $2 price anymore. Why liddat?
He said bo pian. Want to charge less also cannot. Last time my mother is the hawker, the market stall rental is less than $700 one month, Tua Tow said. Now the market kena upgrade to nice nice by Gahmen, the rental go up also. KNNCCB, he said, how to survive? My mother die that time, the Gahmen offer me because I am the son to take over the place, but the rental jump until $2000 plus almost $3000. I don't make the price of my food more expensive, I cannot continue do this line.
Tua Tow said, you just wait lor. Next time no more cheap market food liao. When all the old hawker die, the CCB gahmen will up the rent and your char kuay teow will not be $2 liao.
The auction show run until very late. 11pm still the fella shouting into the microphone $128! $388! $888!!!
Suddenly got one guy shout, Nabei! Auntie lai liao!!!!
This mean the parking auntie come and check, so we all get up and run like siao lang to our car to drive away before they can summon us and give us ang pow. Wa lao eh, the new parking aunties who is private company one now is so fucking on the ball, must be their commission is better.
The two parking auntie that come still is booking the cars in front, so I think good, haven't reach me yet. My baobei car is park inside quite far. But very funny, I walk like walk very long time and never reach my car. Dunno how come. I remember I walk from my car to the auction show that time, feels like only 3 minute. Now the parking auntie come, and I try to go my car, is like more than 15 minute walk.
After a long long time, I can see my car liao. Park next to the broken lamp post, at the grassland there. Cheebye! I saw one auntie standing there going to give me ticket. How I know they send so many auntie come and book people?
I don't understand how come, but this auntie the uniform is not the same as the auntie I saw just now. This auntie is like wearing old parking auntie uniform, not the new private company uniform one. I cannot see her face, maybe because quite dark and I standing a few cars away.
Then I also saw she not using those mini computer to print my ticket, but using the old paper and pen style. I didn't know they still using this kind of parking ticket leh.
I want to go and talk to her and ask to give chance one, but I think nowadays they don't give chance one, somemore she already write her ticket. Aiyah let her book lah. KNNBCCB. So I turn to walk back to join my friends.
When I walking away, I suddenly smell the franjeepenny flower smell and also like heard my name kena call. Rockson... Rockson...
I thought maybe is the wind or Ah Seng is calling me (but cannot be, is a woman voice leh). Anyway I walk back to the auction show. The walk also seem like long time, like 15 minutes like that. Walk walk walk. Like neverending.
When I reach back, Raymond saw me and said wah so fast come back ah?
I look at him and said No what, I go quite long what, dunno why the walk like so far. And somemore KNN kena orh gong by the parking auntie wearing the old uniform one and using old style paper summon.
Raymond look at me funny and said, you kena summon meh?
Ya! Fuck man, I said.
Raymond look at me funny again and said, cannot be what. The two auntie just now came until the first few car, then we all run out that time, they stand there a while, and then go away liao. The two of them never walk to your car that side, you know? So how can you kena summon?
Got kena! I said. Must be a third auntie her minah friend lah!
Raymond said eh, you must be seeing things lah. This car park only got one way in, and we all only saw two auntie come and then go, never go your side. Don't have third auntie lah! And where got auntie now use paper summon one!
I look at him, he look at me.
Want to take taxi? I ask him.
Ya, your car tomorrow morning then come and get lah, Raymond said.
I also say.
So we tell Ah Seng bye bye, and tell Tua Tow good luck his food stall business, and walk very fast to the main road to call taxi.
When I reach home that time, is already about 11.45pm. I walk past my neighbour house and heard their tv got Channel News Asia talking about Small Lee's National Day speech. Must be that time I was at the auction they show the speech one. Never mind, next few days sure got fucking repeat and repeat and repeat.
Then I reach my door.
Then I say KNNBCCB.
I left my house key inside my car.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Fuck man, no more President election holiday
This few day work damn busy. Pak chew cheng also no time, don't say blog. I so tired until I hold my horse pak half way and koon.
I still very toolan about the President election kena cancel. Fuck lah, Singapore is so hard to get one lan cheow holiday, but because only got one man kena the Certificate of Egibity to run for election, then he is become the automatic winner. No holiday liao KNN.
Of course our old president can get approve for the president COE lah. The Selecting President Society read his report card and see "Last job: President of Singapore, 6 Years", confirm to give him what!!!
Unless this old president employer come out and say, Nabei! last time hor, when he is president that time, we is his boss and cheebye lah, we already told him he fucked up and not performing the A star grade, so we give him chance. Then because we is kind boss, we give chance for one year, two year, three year, four year, five year, and even six year, in the end we give him the last final really really no give chance warning liao and say he must resign or else we very stress have to find some more chance to give.
But this never happen lah (Singapore president where got one more boss upstairs one?). So our president pass lor. Some more he do quite good job, so never kena complain.
But a lot of people still not happy, they say this is not election! This is call selection! We never fucking get to choose! We want to have four man protest!!! The Singapore people shout Cheebye and sibei toolan got no election!!!
In the newspaper, "Cheebye and sibei toolan got no election!!!" become write in English as "Yay Singaporean very the happy no need to choose president!!!". Maybe the newspaper hokkien not so good, never translate properly.
Last night Raymond tell me when we are drinking at the lounge, actually, Singapore president got elect by Singapore people what!
I said, cheebye lah where got?
Raymond said, Got! Three people elect lor. Hahahahahaha!!!!!
That fucker Raymond always make this kind of stupid joke.
Then Raymond said, You should thank the Gahmen, they call this three clever people to help you choose the president, so you don't have to use your brain, waste your energy go and vote. Then you can use your brain to choose what food you want to eat for lunch, what drink you want to drink in the pub, and what PRC mei mei you want to fuck in Geylang, no need to waste on choosing president. Hahahahaha!!!!
I want to throw my beer at his laughing cheebye face already and then he said, anyway, actually the President is really choose by us. Really.
I dowan to waste my beer, so I drink it and say why you say that?
Raymond said, See ah, ok, who choose the president one?
I said, Selecting President Society!
Then Raymond said, Who choose the Selecting President Society one?
I said, Gahmen lah, cheebye!
Then Raymond said, Who choose the Gahmen one?
I look at him and stone for a while.
Then Raymond laugh and said, Ahhhhhhh, we fuckers lor. So we elected the President lah! Hahahahaha!!!!
I want to punch his arm liao but I forgot because behind him got one chio bu walk pass, wearing the front low low top, low until can see two half of her goodies and almost see her stomach liao. People is V neck, she is U neck, hahahahahaha!!! See already my horse sedia. And I later go to toilet to pee also damn toolan, keep shooting the wall and the sky. We are like this, see goodies liao will steam damn fast and forget our angry even faster.
Actually talk about steam, Singapore becoming president standard is also very steam. Must be superman gahmen department boss for three years or $100 million company CEO. Wa lao eh, where to find?
Actually, I got know one guy Ah Heng who can pass the Selecting President Society exam. He is boss of a secret society (no number one, because real gang don't have number) and his gang make million billion dollars every year selling pirated DVD and pc program and as loanshark.
He also CEO, ok? And every year his gang make money, never lose. Our country CPF money let him look after he sure take it and make into golden egg for us.
But he wear singlet and slipper everywhere, so don't looks so high class. Also I think his whole body the tattoo everywhere is look a bit scary. Fuck man, his fingernail and eyelid also got tattoo. Somemore his temper no good and he always scold people lan cheow and fuck your mothercheebye and KNNBCCB.
If Ah Heng do the National Day parade, he have to wear long sleeve shirt to cover his tattoo or people will scared.
When the commander ask him Sir! Permission to start the parade sir!
President Ah Heng will sure say Pua Chee Bye! Don't be so blur fuck! KNN want to start the parade then start lah! Every cheebye thing also must ask me first ah! Limpei President Ah Heng is your mother issit?
But Ah Heng cannot be president one. He is $100 million dollar company CEO but he fail the last part of the exam. The exam say the president must have good character and got nobody fuck him.
Fuck lah, this kind of thing how to pass? Want to find your bad things very easy ok? Your cheebye mother in law say you useless fucker son in law can also consider not good character what.
I think we need to start a president school. Singapore country very small, so must start early find those got president standard kind of student.
Raymond and me will start a president school to teach you important things......
-how to kiss babies
-how to conduct national day parade
-how to do charity
-don't anyhow ask question about Singapore Gahmen money
-how to meet the president of other country (who also not standard enough to be our president)
I think when you compare, other country president is all no standard. Like USA one. Got one cowboy actor. Got one chee koh pek like to get blowjob by his own office girl. Got one stupid cowboy rich man son. All fucked up. Maybe that's why their pay less than our president.
I think I dowan to be president now, just be gahmen department boss or gahmen company boss can already. Every year can be fucked up but will get chance, and still get my big bonus and get report card say well done good job. As long as don't try to be president without gahmen permission, I no need to scared no job.
I can be CFO, Chief Fucking Officer! Hahahahahaha!!!!
I still very toolan about the President election kena cancel. Fuck lah, Singapore is so hard to get one lan cheow holiday, but because only got one man kena the Certificate of Egibity to run for election, then he is become the automatic winner. No holiday liao KNN.
Of course our old president can get approve for the president COE lah. The Selecting President Society read his report card and see "Last job: President of Singapore, 6 Years", confirm to give him what!!!
Unless this old president employer come out and say, Nabei! last time hor, when he is president that time, we is his boss and cheebye lah, we already told him he fucked up and not performing the A star grade, so we give him chance. Then because we is kind boss, we give chance for one year, two year, three year, four year, five year, and even six year, in the end we give him the last final really really no give chance warning liao and say he must resign or else we very stress have to find some more chance to give.
But this never happen lah (Singapore president where got one more boss upstairs one?). So our president pass lor. Some more he do quite good job, so never kena complain.
But a lot of people still not happy, they say this is not election! This is call selection! We never fucking get to choose! We want to have four man protest!!! The Singapore people shout Cheebye and sibei toolan got no election!!!
In the newspaper, "Cheebye and sibei toolan got no election!!!" become write in English as "Yay Singaporean very the happy no need to choose president!!!". Maybe the newspaper hokkien not so good, never translate properly.
Last night Raymond tell me when we are drinking at the lounge, actually, Singapore president got elect by Singapore people what!
I said, cheebye lah where got?
Raymond said, Got! Three people elect lor. Hahahahahaha!!!!!
That fucker Raymond always make this kind of stupid joke.
Then Raymond said, You should thank the Gahmen, they call this three clever people to help you choose the president, so you don't have to use your brain, waste your energy go and vote. Then you can use your brain to choose what food you want to eat for lunch, what drink you want to drink in the pub, and what PRC mei mei you want to fuck in Geylang, no need to waste on choosing president. Hahahahaha!!!!
I want to throw my beer at his laughing cheebye face already and then he said, anyway, actually the President is really choose by us. Really.
I dowan to waste my beer, so I drink it and say why you say that?
Raymond said, See ah, ok, who choose the president one?
I said, Selecting President Society!
Then Raymond said, Who choose the Selecting President Society one?
I said, Gahmen lah, cheebye!
Then Raymond said, Who choose the Gahmen one?
I look at him and stone for a while.
Then Raymond laugh and said, Ahhhhhhh, we fuckers lor. So we elected the President lah! Hahahahaha!!!!
I want to punch his arm liao but I forgot because behind him got one chio bu walk pass, wearing the front low low top, low until can see two half of her goodies and almost see her stomach liao. People is V neck, she is U neck, hahahahahaha!!! See already my horse sedia. And I later go to toilet to pee also damn toolan, keep shooting the wall and the sky. We are like this, see goodies liao will steam damn fast and forget our angry even faster.
Actually talk about steam, Singapore becoming president standard is also very steam. Must be superman gahmen department boss for three years or $100 million company CEO. Wa lao eh, where to find?
Actually, I got know one guy Ah Heng who can pass the Selecting President Society exam. He is boss of a secret society (no number one, because real gang don't have number) and his gang make million billion dollars every year selling pirated DVD and pc program and as loanshark.
He also CEO, ok? And every year his gang make money, never lose. Our country CPF money let him look after he sure take it and make into golden egg for us.
But he wear singlet and slipper everywhere, so don't looks so high class. Also I think his whole body the tattoo everywhere is look a bit scary. Fuck man, his fingernail and eyelid also got tattoo. Somemore his temper no good and he always scold people lan cheow and fuck your mothercheebye and KNNBCCB.
If Ah Heng do the National Day parade, he have to wear long sleeve shirt to cover his tattoo or people will scared.
When the commander ask him Sir! Permission to start the parade sir!
President Ah Heng will sure say Pua Chee Bye! Don't be so blur fuck! KNN want to start the parade then start lah! Every cheebye thing also must ask me first ah! Limpei President Ah Heng is your mother issit?
But Ah Heng cannot be president one. He is $100 million dollar company CEO but he fail the last part of the exam. The exam say the president must have good character and got nobody fuck him.
Fuck lah, this kind of thing how to pass? Want to find your bad things very easy ok? Your cheebye mother in law say you useless fucker son in law can also consider not good character what.
I think we need to start a president school. Singapore country very small, so must start early find those got president standard kind of student.
Raymond and me will start a president school to teach you important things......
-how to kiss babies
-how to conduct national day parade
-how to do charity
-don't anyhow ask question about Singapore Gahmen money
-how to meet the president of other country (who also not standard enough to be our president)
I think when you compare, other country president is all no standard. Like USA one. Got one cowboy actor. Got one chee koh pek like to get blowjob by his own office girl. Got one stupid cowboy rich man son. All fucked up. Maybe that's why their pay less than our president.
I think I dowan to be president now, just be gahmen department boss or gahmen company boss can already. Every year can be fucked up but will get chance, and still get my big bonus and get report card say well done good job. As long as don't try to be president without gahmen permission, I no need to scared no job.
I can be CFO, Chief Fucking Officer! Hahahahahaha!!!!
Friday, August 12, 2005
12 commando police vs Fantastic Four
CCB I just spend two hours deleting my files.....
Today I tried to use my Singpass to go online check my CPF. Every year they keep send me a new password, I dunno which lan cheow password to use, so I keep trying and trying and trying, but cheebye cannot login. Remind me of that time I use Singpass for my tax like that. Also cannot work.
In the end, I got one Access Denied. I think this mean I kena fucked liao. The CPF computer don't like me and close their door.
Nabei so I lunchtime go to the CPF building in town, because Lawrence say this kind of thing must go there to settle. Sibei sian, because that side the lunch food not so nice, and the char bor not as chio as the Raffles Place side. Raffles the girls know how to dress skirt tight tight, top tight tight, a few less button. Very the sexy and like those office girl from overseas magazine. Too bad they think they very high class, like their cheebye is made of gold.
Heng not go until Tanjong Pagar, or else sure see even more kan see lang pai kua office girl one. And probably see a lot of office auntie.
I walk to the building around lunch and saw many people blocking the CPF building entrance. Like more than 100 people crowd around there, I think. I am thinking die lah, my lunch one hour only, like this how.
In Singapore when got so many people, is either someone die (and they need to get 4D number), or got sale, or got free thing.
But when I go there, is only four people, two man two woman, wear some white T-shirt, got words like NKF and HDB and CPF on it. They also holding some paper. Chay, I thought the two woman tng sar do strip tease or what!!
Then got someone in the crowd say, wah Singapore now also got protest, man.
Protest? These people crazy ah? Singapore want to protest must get licence one! Even want to be pros, or health centre massage girl, or president also must get license. Protest lagi have to! They don't look like got-licence protester leh.
Then I overheard got another uncle, he say he think he know why four people only.
I ask him, "Uncle, why four people ah? They cannot find enough people to protest issit?"
He said no, five people then consider no licence and against the law. Less than five only considered disturb people, is call public nonsense.
I am thinking, the gahmen like this sure toolan, wait they change the law to make it less than five people is also against the law. Maybe they might say, more than two people is also need licence now.
Like that die lah. You want to go Geylang to do three-way also consider illegal protest liao. You want to go pak tor, go dating also need two people but new law say cannot. So you can only go alone and pak chiu cheng. Hahahahaha!!!
Suddenly got a lot of police come. Not just normal police, but those riot one. Wear until look like going to war like this. They wear helmet, carry shield and big stick, and the leg all cover with pad (scared fall down issit?)
Wah, look damn fierce man. I see already I also scared. Because at first, I am thinking die, this police all come here is to catch me, because the CPF Singpass computer scan my PC see I got sex picture and movie. Especially the japanese type. I also dunno why Lawrence he download the japanese xxx, the jap girls is quite chio, but many no neh neh, and cannot see cheebye lan cheow one, all square squares. Sometimes when the jap girl suck cock, the square square got so many until her face also cannot see. Only can hear her noise. Like that also shiok.
Seelang Lawrence, always use my PC download this kind of fuck thing, see lah! Kena scan by Gahmen computer and the police send their Commando team come liao.
Somemore I scared because I remember in London they chase one fella and shoot him until die, thought he was the cheebye terrorist. In the end he is not a terrorist, just look like one. And London police never even say sorry, only say regret!!! KNNBCCB! Shoot wrong person still only say REGRET?!!! Lan cheow ok! The only person regret is that poor fucker who run, man. Regret he meet this kind of police!
Nabei!!! At least in London they regret. I think in Singapore if you kena shoot, police will not regret or say sorry. Maybe even get medal. Who call you stupid fucker carry big bag in MRT, see police liao go and run ah?
So I stand there. Dunno to fucking run or stone there. If I run, I scared they shoot me. If I stone there, I scared they come and catch me for Lawrence xxx files. That chow Lawrence, all his fucking fault!!!
Then I heard the police shout at the four people. Tell them to get lost or get caught by police. After second time kena tell by the commando police, the four of them go home.
So drama sia! Wah lao eh!! Why so many police come? Even send the commando police? Four people only! Make until Rockson scared think it was him. The normal police come can already lor, public nonsense only what. One police post mata come and tell them to fuck off should be enough.
The normal police not free have to send commando issit? Wah lan eh. They are Fantastic Four got powers issit? Heng ah, if got more people and carry weapons type, then comfirm the CID, army, navy and airforce also come. National Day over already, all this people free what.
By this time, I also sian dowan to check Singpass already. Another day then do, stomach also hungry. My day spoil by this people dunno protesting what fuck. Stomach more important so I go makan.
I also told myself better go back and delete those porn file. Wait really kena police knock down my door and send me to jail to kena fuck backside.
Today I tried to use my Singpass to go online check my CPF. Every year they keep send me a new password, I dunno which lan cheow password to use, so I keep trying and trying and trying, but cheebye cannot login. Remind me of that time I use Singpass for my tax like that. Also cannot work.
In the end, I got one Access Denied. I think this mean I kena fucked liao. The CPF computer don't like me and close their door.
Nabei so I lunchtime go to the CPF building in town, because Lawrence say this kind of thing must go there to settle. Sibei sian, because that side the lunch food not so nice, and the char bor not as chio as the Raffles Place side. Raffles the girls know how to dress skirt tight tight, top tight tight, a few less button. Very the sexy and like those office girl from overseas magazine. Too bad they think they very high class, like their cheebye is made of gold.
Heng not go until Tanjong Pagar, or else sure see even more kan see lang pai kua office girl one. And probably see a lot of office auntie.
I walk to the building around lunch and saw many people blocking the CPF building entrance. Like more than 100 people crowd around there, I think. I am thinking die lah, my lunch one hour only, like this how.
In Singapore when got so many people, is either someone die (and they need to get 4D number), or got sale, or got free thing.
But when I go there, is only four people, two man two woman, wear some white T-shirt, got words like NKF and HDB and CPF on it. They also holding some paper. Chay, I thought the two woman tng sar do strip tease or what!!
Then got someone in the crowd say, wah Singapore now also got protest, man.
Protest? These people crazy ah? Singapore want to protest must get licence one! Even want to be pros, or health centre massage girl, or president also must get license. Protest lagi have to! They don't look like got-licence protester leh.
Then I overheard got another uncle, he say he think he know why four people only.
I ask him, "Uncle, why four people ah? They cannot find enough people to protest issit?"
He said no, five people then consider no licence and against the law. Less than five only considered disturb people, is call public nonsense.
I am thinking, the gahmen like this sure toolan, wait they change the law to make it less than five people is also against the law. Maybe they might say, more than two people is also need licence now.
Like that die lah. You want to go Geylang to do three-way also consider illegal protest liao. You want to go pak tor, go dating also need two people but new law say cannot. So you can only go alone and pak chiu cheng. Hahahahaha!!!
Suddenly got a lot of police come. Not just normal police, but those riot one. Wear until look like going to war like this. They wear helmet, carry shield and big stick, and the leg all cover with pad (scared fall down issit?)
Wah, look damn fierce man. I see already I also scared. Because at first, I am thinking die, this police all come here is to catch me, because the CPF Singpass computer scan my PC see I got sex picture and movie. Especially the japanese type. I also dunno why Lawrence he download the japanese xxx, the jap girls is quite chio, but many no neh neh, and cannot see cheebye lan cheow one, all square squares. Sometimes when the jap girl suck cock, the square square got so many until her face also cannot see. Only can hear her noise. Like that also shiok.
Seelang Lawrence, always use my PC download this kind of fuck thing, see lah! Kena scan by Gahmen computer and the police send their Commando team come liao.
Somemore I scared because I remember in London they chase one fella and shoot him until die, thought he was the cheebye terrorist. In the end he is not a terrorist, just look like one. And London police never even say sorry, only say regret!!! KNNBCCB! Shoot wrong person still only say REGRET?!!! Lan cheow ok! The only person regret is that poor fucker who run, man. Regret he meet this kind of police!
Nabei!!! At least in London they regret. I think in Singapore if you kena shoot, police will not regret or say sorry. Maybe even get medal. Who call you stupid fucker carry big bag in MRT, see police liao go and run ah?
So I stand there. Dunno to fucking run or stone there. If I run, I scared they shoot me. If I stone there, I scared they come and catch me for Lawrence xxx files. That chow Lawrence, all his fucking fault!!!
Then I heard the police shout at the four people. Tell them to get lost or get caught by police. After second time kena tell by the commando police, the four of them go home.
So drama sia! Wah lao eh!! Why so many police come? Even send the commando police? Four people only! Make until Rockson scared think it was him. The normal police come can already lor, public nonsense only what. One police post mata come and tell them to fuck off should be enough.
The normal police not free have to send commando issit? Wah lan eh. They are Fantastic Four got powers issit? Heng ah, if got more people and carry weapons type, then comfirm the CID, army, navy and airforce also come. National Day over already, all this people free what.
By this time, I also sian dowan to check Singpass already. Another day then do, stomach also hungry. My day spoil by this people dunno protesting what fuck. Stomach more important so I go makan.
I also told myself better go back and delete those porn file. Wait really kena police knock down my door and send me to jail to kena fuck backside.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Go Marina South see fireworks
Saturday Lawrence ask me want to watch the free fireworks or not? Go Marina South and see, he said.
At first I didn't really feel like it but he said got free concert also by the singer Zhou Hua Jian. His English name is Emil, I think. What kind of cheebye name is Emil? Sound like "email", he like people to emil him issit? Why he don't choose better name like Rockson?
I told him wa lao eh, cheebye lah, that Email Chow is so kan see lang lao liao, this kind of last time star who want to see?
Then he said not only him but also got the 五月天 rock band perform. They are Taiwan group, English called May Day, is those rock one, not like those chow ah kua boy band like F4 (F stand for Fucked up issit?).
This May Day band I don't mind, because they sometimes sing Hokkien song. I hope they got sing the good Hokkien song like Chit Ba Ban, because that is what Singaporean like to hear, "One Million Dollar".
So I said ok and we go with Raymond and his friend Ah Seng. Actually Ah Seng is call Peter but we know him so long we always call him Ah Seng. He is oldest in our group I think. Ah Seng is jobless many months liao because his kuai lan company say he almost 40 years old and not useful anymore, so they use his salary to hire two 20 years old young punk. Cheebye this kind of thing also can.
When I go Marina South to eat and go bowling last time, I always drive because the place damn fucking ulu. Actually it is in town, but it is like the backside of the town, must drive one big round then can go there kind. I drive us until near there, but the road kena block! KNNBCCB!!!!
So Ah Seng said better park and take train. He laugh and say lucky I no job no money to buy car, never kena this kind of problem. He said "I no money even to buy a sex wife from Vietnam, don't say buy car, hahahahaha!!!"
So we take the train to Marina station and walk. Nabei, I eat until so big, this is my first time get out at the Marina station. Who the fuck take train go Marina one? Come out of the station is nothing, no shop, no house, just grass.
When we reach the station, a lot of people come out of the train at Marina. I think the Marina station those MRT worker also stress. Usually one day see one or two people at their station (and maybe some ghosts hahahaha!!!) but tonight KNN see so many people come and see fireworks and concert.
I not sure where is the place to see the fireworks, so I just follow the people. Got some people take the bus 400, but we saw so many people take the bus, so we decide to walk. CCB the walk really damn far, I walk until my ka chng down there also sweat, walk already got a wet wet feeling.
I tell Lawrence this firework better be worth it because we walk until so jialat. I saw many NS men in their No 4 uniform do traffic duty, I think they must be damn sian to be the National Day free worker. Every year National Day sure a lot of army boy kena do this kind of slave duty one. No wonder see their face so long. Not only kena duty, but see all the chio bu but cannot go out with them. Sibei sian.
After about 20 minutes I think, we reach the stage place together with many thousand of Singaporean who like to see free show.
When I walk on the field I sibei toolan because the concert grass land there got mud!!! KNN must be the last few days raining make the ground all wet and muddy one!! We walk that time cannot see properly where is the mud and where is the dry part, so our shoe all kena wet wet brown brown one....... CHEEBYE!!!!
I stand with the concert people near the stage because Lawrence want to hear the concert after the fireworks. We stand behind the metal bar and pack together like animal inside cage.
Wa lan eh. I never smell so many people sweat before. People squeeze together like the fucking sardine. Some even smell like sardine. And many of the girl also wear tank top and they sweat. Usually girl in tank top is very sexy to see but not that night.
The worse part is when the firework start, everybody ooh and ahh and got this girl just next to me, she stick out her hand and point at the firework in the sky.
Her armpit suddenly press next to my face and the smell from her armpit reach my nose. I almost peng san!!! I see the army boys i feel like shout MEDIC!!!
Then got another girl next to her, her friend I think, she also point up at the firework ooh and ahh. But this girl worse her armpit got hair!!!! Like this how to strike 4D!!!!!
I want to tell her move her hairy armpit away but the fireworks too loud she cannot hear me say excuse me can don't press your hairy cheebye armpit on my face or not. When I want to say excuse me, another firework boom in the sky.
So I give up and look at the sky and enjoy the free fireworks, and try to breathe through my mouth. Gahmen give us free show, of course must enjoy right? No job no money already, like Ah Seng, only got left the free things to enjoy, like the free fireworks, the free concert of Email Chow, a few unknown singers I never hear before, and 五月天. Not bad this Gahmen, Singapore 40 years birthday spend so much money. Maybe all this is try to make Singaporean happy a bit, forget their troubles.
Raymond the stupid fucker try to take photo of the fireworks with his lao ya handphone camera and complain cheebye why his photo all come out black black one.
After 10 to 20 minutes the fireworks finish and got some people clap. The sky no more bright colour and loud boom, but become dark again. The armpit girls also put their arm down liao. I can use my nose breathe again.
I turn and saw Ah Seng still looking at the night time sky macham still got fireworks and I said, "Oi, Seng ah, you looking at the empty sky for fuck? No more fireworks already."
Ah Seng did not look at me. His eyes still looking at the black black sky and then he said to me:
"All this free Gahmen fireworks is very nice to see but I wish I have a job."
His eyes now like looking far far away behind the sky.
"Then I can buy my own fireworks," he said "when it is my own 40 years birthday."
At first I didn't really feel like it but he said got free concert also by the singer Zhou Hua Jian. His English name is Emil, I think. What kind of cheebye name is Emil? Sound like "email", he like people to emil him issit? Why he don't choose better name like Rockson?
I told him wa lao eh, cheebye lah, that Email Chow is so kan see lang lao liao, this kind of last time star who want to see?
Then he said not only him but also got the 五月天 rock band perform. They are Taiwan group, English called May Day, is those rock one, not like those chow ah kua boy band like F4 (F stand for Fucked up issit?).
This May Day band I don't mind, because they sometimes sing Hokkien song. I hope they got sing the good Hokkien song like Chit Ba Ban, because that is what Singaporean like to hear, "One Million Dollar".
So I said ok and we go with Raymond and his friend Ah Seng. Actually Ah Seng is call Peter but we know him so long we always call him Ah Seng. He is oldest in our group I think. Ah Seng is jobless many months liao because his kuai lan company say he almost 40 years old and not useful anymore, so they use his salary to hire two 20 years old young punk. Cheebye this kind of thing also can.
When I go Marina South to eat and go bowling last time, I always drive because the place damn fucking ulu. Actually it is in town, but it is like the backside of the town, must drive one big round then can go there kind. I drive us until near there, but the road kena block! KNNBCCB!!!!
So Ah Seng said better park and take train. He laugh and say lucky I no job no money to buy car, never kena this kind of problem. He said "I no money even to buy a sex wife from Vietnam, don't say buy car, hahahahaha!!!"
So we take the train to Marina station and walk. Nabei, I eat until so big, this is my first time get out at the Marina station. Who the fuck take train go Marina one? Come out of the station is nothing, no shop, no house, just grass.
When we reach the station, a lot of people come out of the train at Marina. I think the Marina station those MRT worker also stress. Usually one day see one or two people at their station (and maybe some ghosts hahahaha!!!) but tonight KNN see so many people come and see fireworks and concert.
I not sure where is the place to see the fireworks, so I just follow the people. Got some people take the bus 400, but we saw so many people take the bus, so we decide to walk. CCB the walk really damn far, I walk until my ka chng down there also sweat, walk already got a wet wet feeling.
I tell Lawrence this firework better be worth it because we walk until so jialat. I saw many NS men in their No 4 uniform do traffic duty, I think they must be damn sian to be the National Day free worker. Every year National Day sure a lot of army boy kena do this kind of slave duty one. No wonder see their face so long. Not only kena duty, but see all the chio bu but cannot go out with them. Sibei sian.
After about 20 minutes I think, we reach the stage place together with many thousand of Singaporean who like to see free show.
When I walk on the field I sibei toolan because the concert grass land there got mud!!! KNN must be the last few days raining make the ground all wet and muddy one!! We walk that time cannot see properly where is the mud and where is the dry part, so our shoe all kena wet wet brown brown one....... CHEEBYE!!!!
I stand with the concert people near the stage because Lawrence want to hear the concert after the fireworks. We stand behind the metal bar and pack together like animal inside cage.
Wa lan eh. I never smell so many people sweat before. People squeeze together like the fucking sardine. Some even smell like sardine. And many of the girl also wear tank top and they sweat. Usually girl in tank top is very sexy to see but not that night.
The worse part is when the firework start, everybody ooh and ahh and got this girl just next to me, she stick out her hand and point at the firework in the sky.
Her armpit suddenly press next to my face and the smell from her armpit reach my nose. I almost peng san!!! I see the army boys i feel like shout MEDIC!!!
Then got another girl next to her, her friend I think, she also point up at the firework ooh and ahh. But this girl worse her armpit got hair!!!! Like this how to strike 4D!!!!!
I want to tell her move her hairy armpit away but the fireworks too loud she cannot hear me say excuse me can don't press your hairy cheebye armpit on my face or not. When I want to say excuse me, another firework boom in the sky.
So I give up and look at the sky and enjoy the free fireworks, and try to breathe through my mouth. Gahmen give us free show, of course must enjoy right? No job no money already, like Ah Seng, only got left the free things to enjoy, like the free fireworks, the free concert of Email Chow, a few unknown singers I never hear before, and 五月天. Not bad this Gahmen, Singapore 40 years birthday spend so much money. Maybe all this is try to make Singaporean happy a bit, forget their troubles.
Raymond the stupid fucker try to take photo of the fireworks with his lao ya handphone camera and complain cheebye why his photo all come out black black one.
After 10 to 20 minutes the fireworks finish and got some people clap. The sky no more bright colour and loud boom, but become dark again. The armpit girls also put their arm down liao. I can use my nose breathe again.
I turn and saw Ah Seng still looking at the night time sky macham still got fireworks and I said, "Oi, Seng ah, you looking at the empty sky for fuck? No more fireworks already."
Ah Seng did not look at me. His eyes still looking at the black black sky and then he said to me:
"All this free Gahmen fireworks is very nice to see but I wish I have a job."
His eyes now like looking far far away behind the sky.
"Then I can buy my own fireworks," he said "when it is my own 40 years birthday."
Friday, August 05, 2005
Nabei, Singapore so small want to find one President also cannot
They say that this August 27 got President Election. At first I am very happy because maybe that mean got public holiday. Then I check the calendar and KNNBCCB!!!! It is a fucking Saturday! Like that how to have cheebye holiday!!!
Actually also dunno whether will have a fight or not. At first the now President, his name is Nathan (it is the Indian pronounce way, Nar-den, not the Ang Moh style, Neh-ten), he say he want to retire liao. He is already 81 years old, and got a few health problem, so fuck lah, of course want to rest, right?
But then dunno so many MP, NTUC and gahmen people say no lah please don't retire, go for medical checkup and try to run for president again, so he now say he want to be president for another 6 years.
I am thinking, fuck man, Singapore got so little talent until cannot find another man to be President ah? Have to make one poor old Indian man who want to rest go and try and be president again? Lan cheow ok!
Why must like this? Singapore everything good only have One, is it? One man good enough to be president, one party good enough to be gahmen, one Lao Lee good enough to be a PM, then SM, then MM? Singapore don't have other good people meh? Maybe that's why the Singapore song is One People One Nation One Singapore. Everything is fucking ONE!!!
Maybe to become president the pass mark is too high. I heard must have some Certificate of Eligibity. Nabei! Be president also must have COE! Somemore the COE look like only the PAP kind of people can get type.
I heard got one guy running, is some JTC guy, also gahmen type. Lan pa pa lan.
I think it will be fun to see the Election during this month. Because this month is the Seven Month of the Hungry Ghost, and will got many Seven Month getai and wayang. Election is also a kind of wayang what!
Actually I think the Gahmen also want to see whether the Singaporean will vote this old President (OLD President, hahahahaha!!!!) to be the new President. Maybe see if the Singaporean is toolan the Gahmen or not. The NKF already make many Singaporean toolan and because the Gahmen Elections also coming, so must check check a bit.
I think Singaporean don't mind vote another president, if there is a choice. I think most people think president is cho bo lan one, so vote who also never mind. Don't halfway die can already.
But I think the president is not only cho bo lan. I heard he have to look after Gahmen money (which is actually OUR money, but the Gahmen always say is THEIR money). I know! Maybe can get that opposition party guy Chee! His name sound like bad word. If he is president, he can everyday ask the Gahmen "WHERE is the cheebye MONEY?!!!" but confirm won't kena sue! Hahahahaha!!!
I also don't mind if I can be president. Got big house at the Isetana. Outside got so many guard and police look after my house (and my president baobei car can park inside won't kena scratch, not like parking in the cheebye HDB carpark). Then next door my Isetana president house is Plaza Singapura shopping centre (last time Yaohan), and even got MRT. Outside is Orchard Road, got so many sexy chio bu to see. Good what!
But then cannot go and chiong as president, because too famous liao. Wait chiong already will become like that last time ah neh President, Devan Neh. He chiong too much in the end kena the Gahmen fry his cuttle fish.
Anyway too bad, I not smart enough, and cannot get the president COE. Car COE also got problem to get. But if they say lan cheow big can be president, I sure win one. But I think I cannot win in Election, only in Erection. I can be Rockson the Horse President! Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Actually also dunno whether will have a fight or not. At first the now President, his name is Nathan (it is the Indian pronounce way, Nar-den, not the Ang Moh style, Neh-ten), he say he want to retire liao. He is already 81 years old, and got a few health problem, so fuck lah, of course want to rest, right?
But then dunno so many MP, NTUC and gahmen people say no lah please don't retire, go for medical checkup and try to run for president again, so he now say he want to be president for another 6 years.
I am thinking, fuck man, Singapore got so little talent until cannot find another man to be President ah? Have to make one poor old Indian man who want to rest go and try and be president again? Lan cheow ok!
Why must like this? Singapore everything good only have One, is it? One man good enough to be president, one party good enough to be gahmen, one Lao Lee good enough to be a PM, then SM, then MM? Singapore don't have other good people meh? Maybe that's why the Singapore song is One People One Nation One Singapore. Everything is fucking ONE!!!
Maybe to become president the pass mark is too high. I heard must have some Certificate of Eligibity. Nabei! Be president also must have COE! Somemore the COE look like only the PAP kind of people can get type.
I heard got one guy running, is some JTC guy, also gahmen type. Lan pa pa lan.
I think it will be fun to see the Election during this month. Because this month is the Seven Month of the Hungry Ghost, and will got many Seven Month getai and wayang. Election is also a kind of wayang what!
Actually I think the Gahmen also want to see whether the Singaporean will vote this old President (OLD President, hahahahaha!!!!) to be the new President. Maybe see if the Singaporean is toolan the Gahmen or not. The NKF already make many Singaporean toolan and because the Gahmen Elections also coming, so must check check a bit.
I think Singaporean don't mind vote another president, if there is a choice. I think most people think president is cho bo lan one, so vote who also never mind. Don't halfway die can already.
But I think the president is not only cho bo lan. I heard he have to look after Gahmen money (which is actually OUR money, but the Gahmen always say is THEIR money). I know! Maybe can get that opposition party guy Chee! His name sound like bad word. If he is president, he can everyday ask the Gahmen "WHERE is the cheebye MONEY?!!!" but confirm won't kena sue! Hahahahaha!!!
I also don't mind if I can be president. Got big house at the Isetana. Outside got so many guard and police look after my house (and my president baobei car can park inside won't kena scratch, not like parking in the cheebye HDB carpark). Then next door my Isetana president house is Plaza Singapura shopping centre (last time Yaohan), and even got MRT. Outside is Orchard Road, got so many sexy chio bu to see. Good what!
But then cannot go and chiong as president, because too famous liao. Wait chiong already will become like that last time ah neh President, Devan Neh. He chiong too much in the end kena the Gahmen fry his cuttle fish.
Anyway too bad, I not smart enough, and cannot get the president COE. Car COE also got problem to get. But if they say lan cheow big can be president, I sure win one. But I think I cannot win in Election, only in Erection. I can be Rockson the Horse President! Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
My first lup sup bar
The fucker Raymond just call say want to go lup sup bar again. The ones he choose never have nice looking girls one. Must be he find the cheap one. The geow fucker.
I remember the first one I went to in JB with my army buddies. We got long weekend so we happy like fuck can go out on Friday late late. The bar was somewhere near Taman Sentosa or something. Even Malaysia also got Sentosa. But their Sentosa don't have Merlion, the stupid vomiting lion fish.
When I reach the very dark lup sup bar, I kena push in by the bouncers who say come in, come in! our beer very cheap and we got mei nu. So I go inside, inside got a lot of curtains, turn here turn there, then come to one place got sofa and table and a tv. The Malaysia tv was showing Singapore show.
Finally the beer come, and I wait damn long, think maybe kena sabo, ba long long, then maybe will kena robbed.
Suddenly, got six or seven lau auntie come in wearing kimono and then sit between all the guys. They all laughing and giggle and try to act cute. Nabei Malaysia got Japanese mei nu who fucking believe?
And these old auntie also don't look like those Seiko or Akina kind of Japanese pop star girl. Look more like Seiko and Akina mother. Some even look like Seiko and Akina grandmother.
Then more worse thing happen.
The lau aunties take off their kimono and we can see their lau neh neh.
KNNBCCB!!!!
I nearly vomit out my beer man. Got some beer come out of my nose. The cheebye beer already taste like those add water kind (the bouncer say their beer cheap, now I know they mean the taste cheap). I see the auntie tng sar, I lagi feel like I want to report sick take MC from this bar.
I want to run away also cannot, because I shocked until frozen. My fingers grab the sofa cloth. Even my horse also shrink. But because it is so big, it also dunno where to hide.
The kan see lang pai kwa aunties put our hands on their neh neh, and serve us the beer-water and light our cigarettes and tap our ash. The whole time we no need to use our hands.
The lau aunties keep using our hands to rub their lau neh neh. I think they want us to feel sexy, but all I feel is their neh neh is a bit like the Chinese New Year orange leave too long outside the fridge kind of feeling.
So we finished the beer quickly, and we want to go already. The aunties ask us for xiao fei. Cheebye lah, this kind of fucked up standard also they dare to ask for tips.
But at this time the singapore $2 note just come out, and is red colour one. So we give them those. The lau aunties think it is the $10 note, so all very happy. Also it was a bit dark, and cannot see properly it is 2 not 10.
Only that bodoh Lawrence stupid, he really give $10 note and give more than one.
Outside the bar, he quite excited and asked us how much we spend on the tips. We said $4 each.
He said KNNBCCB!!! I gave them $40! Singapore dollar somemore!!!
The rest of the month he have to eat cookhouse, no money go canteen. Lawrence even last time also this kind of blur fuck. Dunno how he survive his NS man. Must be kena blanket a lot one, he this kind of blur sotong.
Now things so expensive, not like we army that time. No more cheap pooky.
$40 in Singapore nowadays can only buy two drink in a Singapore lup sup bar, I think. Just like our ministers, the lup sup bar girl salary also go up. And the girls nowadays in the lup sup bar more hiong, so I don't really like not go anymore. Got many overseas talent also. The bouncer sometimes say they have Eurasian girls, but is bluff people one, is actually Filipino auntie, and the Malaysia girls they say they have is really from China pei du mama.
Got two times I go with the cheebye chiongster Lawrence, one time in the lup sup bar, one time in the KTV. The same thing, the lau auntie make me touch her neneh, and plus she try to unzip my pants. Then she ask me why dowan.
I tell her, I want also my horse dowan.
I remember the first one I went to in JB with my army buddies. We got long weekend so we happy like fuck can go out on Friday late late. The bar was somewhere near Taman Sentosa or something. Even Malaysia also got Sentosa. But their Sentosa don't have Merlion, the stupid vomiting lion fish.
When I reach the very dark lup sup bar, I kena push in by the bouncers who say come in, come in! our beer very cheap and we got mei nu. So I go inside, inside got a lot of curtains, turn here turn there, then come to one place got sofa and table and a tv. The Malaysia tv was showing Singapore show.
Finally the beer come, and I wait damn long, think maybe kena sabo, ba long long, then maybe will kena robbed.
Suddenly, got six or seven lau auntie come in wearing kimono and then sit between all the guys. They all laughing and giggle and try to act cute. Nabei Malaysia got Japanese mei nu who fucking believe?
And these old auntie also don't look like those Seiko or Akina kind of Japanese pop star girl. Look more like Seiko and Akina mother. Some even look like Seiko and Akina grandmother.
Then more worse thing happen.
The lau aunties take off their kimono and we can see their lau neh neh.
KNNBCCB!!!!
I nearly vomit out my beer man. Got some beer come out of my nose. The cheebye beer already taste like those add water kind (the bouncer say their beer cheap, now I know they mean the taste cheap). I see the auntie tng sar, I lagi feel like I want to report sick take MC from this bar.
I want to run away also cannot, because I shocked until frozen. My fingers grab the sofa cloth. Even my horse also shrink. But because it is so big, it also dunno where to hide.
The kan see lang pai kwa aunties put our hands on their neh neh, and serve us the beer-water and light our cigarettes and tap our ash. The whole time we no need to use our hands.
The lau aunties keep using our hands to rub their lau neh neh. I think they want us to feel sexy, but all I feel is their neh neh is a bit like the Chinese New Year orange leave too long outside the fridge kind of feeling.
So we finished the beer quickly, and we want to go already. The aunties ask us for xiao fei. Cheebye lah, this kind of fucked up standard also they dare to ask for tips.
But at this time the singapore $2 note just come out, and is red colour one. So we give them those. The lau aunties think it is the $10 note, so all very happy. Also it was a bit dark, and cannot see properly it is 2 not 10.
Only that bodoh Lawrence stupid, he really give $10 note and give more than one.
Outside the bar, he quite excited and asked us how much we spend on the tips. We said $4 each.
He said KNNBCCB!!! I gave them $40! Singapore dollar somemore!!!
The rest of the month he have to eat cookhouse, no money go canteen. Lawrence even last time also this kind of blur fuck. Dunno how he survive his NS man. Must be kena blanket a lot one, he this kind of blur sotong.
Now things so expensive, not like we army that time. No more cheap pooky.
$40 in Singapore nowadays can only buy two drink in a Singapore lup sup bar, I think. Just like our ministers, the lup sup bar girl salary also go up. And the girls nowadays in the lup sup bar more hiong, so I don't really like not go anymore. Got many overseas talent also. The bouncer sometimes say they have Eurasian girls, but is bluff people one, is actually Filipino auntie, and the Malaysia girls they say they have is really from China pei du mama.
Got two times I go with the cheebye chiongster Lawrence, one time in the lup sup bar, one time in the KTV. The same thing, the lau auntie make me touch her neneh, and plus she try to unzip my pants. Then she ask me why dowan.
I tell her, I want also my horse dowan.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
I ask Lawrence about the homo photo show
Just came back from Raymond house play the mahjong and drink the beer but cannot tahan, man. These few night go out too much, thats why tonight 2.30am so early come back. Really have to sleep, going to peng san already but I go after I type this. Last time can havoc every day one whole week also not tired, now like ka su liao, slow down already. Fuck man.
Lawrence was there also playing mahjong with us, and when I drink the beer, I suddenly remember something so I scolded him upside down. Scold him why Wednesday the boring Mambo night he never tell me next door the Velvet got free beer from the homo photo show.
He look at me, his fingers arranging his pai and said, Wednesday Velvet where got lan cheow homo photo show?
I said GOT! I heard one chio bu in the Zouk told her friend Velvet got this homo photo show which give free Heineken beer even. Cheebye lah, if you tell me earlier, maybe we can have free beer and even see some lesbian photo also.
Lawrence think and think and think for a while, then he shout AIYAH puacheebye lah! You koteh! It is not a fucking HOMO show lah! Wednesday night that one is the Heineken LOMO show!
I still don't understand him so I say, Lomo is it another kind of Homo?
No lah, Lawerence said, Lomo is a expensive broken camera that take spoiled photos, and some people think is very nice. so they join club to take more spoiled photos and say is art. So it is LOMO, not HOMO lah, Rockson!
How I know right? But still should have gone there. Got free beer leh.
Lawrence was there also playing mahjong with us, and when I drink the beer, I suddenly remember something so I scolded him upside down. Scold him why Wednesday the boring Mambo night he never tell me next door the Velvet got free beer from the homo photo show.
He look at me, his fingers arranging his pai and said, Wednesday Velvet where got lan cheow homo photo show?
I said GOT! I heard one chio bu in the Zouk told her friend Velvet got this homo photo show which give free Heineken beer even. Cheebye lah, if you tell me earlier, maybe we can have free beer and even see some lesbian photo also.
Lawrence think and think and think for a while, then he shout AIYAH puacheebye lah! You koteh! It is not a fucking HOMO show lah! Wednesday night that one is the Heineken LOMO show!
I still don't understand him so I say, Lomo is it another kind of Homo?
No lah, Lawerence said, Lomo is a expensive broken camera that take spoiled photos, and some people think is very nice. so they join club to take more spoiled photos and say is art. So it is LOMO, not HOMO lah, Rockson!
How I know right? But still should have gone there. Got free beer leh.
Friday, July 29, 2005
New fucking ERP and Wednesday went Mambo
I sibei sian. On Monday onwards, drive the CTE go Ang Mo Kio at night will have to pay the cheebye ERP, pay until 8pm then no need to pay.
I read the newspaper the Minister of car, bus and road, say that if this ERP night time charge can make the CTE less jam, then the Gahmen maybe no need to build a new north south expressway.
KNNBCCB!!!! Of course lah! Better we driver pay the ERP than you Gahmen spend money build the new expressway, right? Of course you like! Who dowan?
Wait, let me calculate. Is it better if I build the north south expressway spend a few billion dollar, but the jam at CTE improve? Or Is it better if I keep using the ERP on the CTE maybe change to even ALL DAY cheebye ERP, not only can make the jam less (maybe only) but can earn the stupid fucker Singapore driver money?
Never ask yourself, maybe the fucking CTE the road design is wrong? Maybe got too many fucking entry and exit, that's why so fucking jam?
Nooooo! Gahmen never wrong one. Our design is the most best! Only you fucker Singapore driver like to drive on CTE dunno for fuck, make until our CTE so jam! So more ERP for you!
I keep thinking the new ERP charge I also moody, so Wednesday night I went to Zouk. Normally I don't like to go there, because the drinks more expensive and the music cannot sing along one. I can only hear the Um-zi um-zi um-zi. Maybe this kind of music must take some kind of special drugs then can like.
Lawrence said come lah, got many chio bu can beoh, many of them young young one. Sometimes they wear very little, and the skirts damn short, and then dancing that time they chao geng he said.
Fuck lah, like that also shiok. I got nothing to do, and nobody want to go kbox with me, so i said ok.
I remember when they started the Mambo at the Zouk my army friends always like to go. Last time got even more people, want to stand also no space. I remember that time how many fight I get into around there. Now I think back, don't know fight for fuck. Must be because KNN young and drunk and fucked up. Now where got time to fight, got so many girl to know and introduce to my horse. Hahahahaha!!!! Man who kena hoot by pipe can only sleep on hospital bed and not on girl bed.
When I reach there I see got a lot of short skirt young girls and ah beng NS guys and they play old music! I think is Abba, Wa lao eh. Somemore the people dancing look like the National Day dance-together kind of dancing. And got people sing the songs at the same time as dancing, every word also got one dance. Even ah beng will say is obiang. But here the ah beng all like this kind of music and dancing, make a lot of noise and whistle the girls. I remember I saw this kind of dancing before, inside a community centre, got those auntie and the chee ko uncle all wear cowboy hat dance together.
I don't drink much, because I thought later want to drink with Raymond. Somemore I scared I drink already I also go and dance this dance. But Lawrence the fucker drink until vomit. Cannot drink want to hero. Stupid fucker.
I saw one chio bu, she look like never wear bra (nowadays is the fashion, I like), she was talking to her friend say she just come from next door the Velvet, say got some homo photo show and got free Heineken beer. Fuck, got this kind of show I didn't know, free beer and maybe got photo of lesbian to see also not bad what. The guys fuck guys photo I not so interested. Nabei this Lawrence never tell me, should have gone Velvet not Mambo.
Wah, so brave, these homo. Go club and hold the homo photo show. Must be this thing I heard, the gay and the lesbian very angry the Gahmen don't let them hold big party in Sentosa on National Day, so must go Phuket. Then i heard those who no money to go Phuket they will make the August to be the Proud to be Gay and Lesbian month, got art show got photo show and got some party. They even got some name for it, something to do with they angry at the Gahmen, I think it is Sibei Toolan Month or something like that.
I think maybe the Gahmen too fast to chase the gay go Phuket to party liao, because they blame them for the Aids. Last time every year they have one big gay party in Sentosa on National Day, now look like the whole month of National Day also become the gay month too. From one party become one month! Hahahaha!!!!
I think people want to fuck each other backside or eat each other cheebye let them fuck and eat lor. Just make sure they got rubber to use, wait their lan cheow drop off, like a few of my friends who go Geylang fuck the pros never wear then kena dunno what cheebye disease. People want to fuck girl fuck guy fuck dog how do you stop them? Just give them the rubber, like the Army give for overseas exercise. Even army also know you cannot stop people from fucking.
See lah, now they go Phuket and fuck, and we celebrate the country 40 years birthday and the emperor's son first national day, together celebrate with the gay month.
The whole August become National Gay Parade. Hahahahaha!!!
I read the newspaper the Minister of car, bus and road, say that if this ERP night time charge can make the CTE less jam, then the Gahmen maybe no need to build a new north south expressway.
KNNBCCB!!!! Of course lah! Better we driver pay the ERP than you Gahmen spend money build the new expressway, right? Of course you like! Who dowan?
Wait, let me calculate. Is it better if I build the north south expressway spend a few billion dollar, but the jam at CTE improve? Or Is it better if I keep using the ERP on the CTE maybe change to even ALL DAY cheebye ERP, not only can make the jam less (maybe only) but can earn the stupid fucker Singapore driver money?
Never ask yourself, maybe the fucking CTE the road design is wrong? Maybe got too many fucking entry and exit, that's why so fucking jam?
Nooooo! Gahmen never wrong one. Our design is the most best! Only you fucker Singapore driver like to drive on CTE dunno for fuck, make until our CTE so jam! So more ERP for you!
I keep thinking the new ERP charge I also moody, so Wednesday night I went to Zouk. Normally I don't like to go there, because the drinks more expensive and the music cannot sing along one. I can only hear the Um-zi um-zi um-zi. Maybe this kind of music must take some kind of special drugs then can like.
Lawrence said come lah, got many chio bu can beoh, many of them young young one. Sometimes they wear very little, and the skirts damn short, and then dancing that time they chao geng he said.
Fuck lah, like that also shiok. I got nothing to do, and nobody want to go kbox with me, so i said ok.
I remember when they started the Mambo at the Zouk my army friends always like to go. Last time got even more people, want to stand also no space. I remember that time how many fight I get into around there. Now I think back, don't know fight for fuck. Must be because KNN young and drunk and fucked up. Now where got time to fight, got so many girl to know and introduce to my horse. Hahahahaha!!!! Man who kena hoot by pipe can only sleep on hospital bed and not on girl bed.
When I reach there I see got a lot of short skirt young girls and ah beng NS guys and they play old music! I think is Abba, Wa lao eh. Somemore the people dancing look like the National Day dance-together kind of dancing. And got people sing the songs at the same time as dancing, every word also got one dance. Even ah beng will say is obiang. But here the ah beng all like this kind of music and dancing, make a lot of noise and whistle the girls. I remember I saw this kind of dancing before, inside a community centre, got those auntie and the chee ko uncle all wear cowboy hat dance together.
I don't drink much, because I thought later want to drink with Raymond. Somemore I scared I drink already I also go and dance this dance. But Lawrence the fucker drink until vomit. Cannot drink want to hero. Stupid fucker.
I saw one chio bu, she look like never wear bra (nowadays is the fashion, I like), she was talking to her friend say she just come from next door the Velvet, say got some homo photo show and got free Heineken beer. Fuck, got this kind of show I didn't know, free beer and maybe got photo of lesbian to see also not bad what. The guys fuck guys photo I not so interested. Nabei this Lawrence never tell me, should have gone Velvet not Mambo.
Wah, so brave, these homo. Go club and hold the homo photo show. Must be this thing I heard, the gay and the lesbian very angry the Gahmen don't let them hold big party in Sentosa on National Day, so must go Phuket. Then i heard those who no money to go Phuket they will make the August to be the Proud to be Gay and Lesbian month, got art show got photo show and got some party. They even got some name for it, something to do with they angry at the Gahmen, I think it is Sibei Toolan Month or something like that.
I think maybe the Gahmen too fast to chase the gay go Phuket to party liao, because they blame them for the Aids. Last time every year they have one big gay party in Sentosa on National Day, now look like the whole month of National Day also become the gay month too. From one party become one month! Hahahaha!!!!
I think people want to fuck each other backside or eat each other cheebye let them fuck and eat lor. Just make sure they got rubber to use, wait their lan cheow drop off, like a few of my friends who go Geylang fuck the pros never wear then kena dunno what cheebye disease. People want to fuck girl fuck guy fuck dog how do you stop them? Just give them the rubber, like the Army give for overseas exercise. Even army also know you cannot stop people from fucking.
See lah, now they go Phuket and fuck, and we celebrate the country 40 years birthday and the emperor's son first national day, together celebrate with the gay month.
The whole August become National Gay Parade. Hahahahaha!!!
Monday, July 25, 2005
Singapore buy house no need to come out money, cheebye where got such thing
I went with Raymond and Lawrence to some lup sup bar again yesterday. Those fuckers always like to go this kind of place, because the waitress carry your beer for you, and your hands can rest on their neh nehs to play.
These kind of woman they also like, their pua cheebye dunno how many man fuck before, hole big until can put jack fruit inside. Wait their lan cheow fall off then they know.
But Raymond say he buy the drinks, so I go with them. When we are drinking he told me that the new property law now can let you buy house with very little money.
Must be election coming, gahmen so good, make it easier for you to buy house, even though you still cannot find job. Is like those prostitute, let you touch touch their neh neh, make your lan cheow hard, then you forget the last time what sex disease they give you that you cannot pronounce the name one.
Singaporean is like that too. Always let the gahmen rub their cock, make them forget all the bad times.
Raymond said, last time can only loan 80%, now can loan 90%, and downpayment only 10%. Somemore 5% can CPF and 5% can be cash.
I said, ler gong simi lan cheow? What the fuck you talking, percent here percent there, I not fucking maths teacher, ok?
Oh, he said, is very simple.
Last time if the condom cost $500,000, need to come out $100k downpayment, then the rest ($400k) take loan. Now can come out only $25k cash, $25k from CPF for downpayment, then take $450k loan.
He said sian, I want to buy, but my HDB 5-room I bought too expensive, $400,000, in 2000, now the value only $300,000. Sell already sure confirm lugi, lose money until will tng kor. But fuck leh, I also want to buy private condom, he said.
I ask him, so now this new law change means house is cheaper issit?
Raymond said, no lah. Probably house price will go up, because more people see the 5% cash law sure gian one because no need come out so much cash to buy and then can take loan for long long time, like 35 years, then pay less every month lor, he said.
I told Raymond, 35 years is fucking long time to loan leh. Cheebye lah, you think you can have job for 35 years nobody retrench you ah? You don't forget, last 5 years, you kena retrench twice liao leh. So this time if you take new loan, then no job again, then how? Hong kan liao lor!
This gahmen is not god, ok, even though they want you to believe they can do magic and make the new job. Even blow job they also cannot promise you.
I told him, somemore if I take more loan like the new 90%, means my interest also more, right? (This one is I learn from I buy car.)
Ya lah, he said, but less to pay in front, and less to pay every month. Can one lah.
And then, I said, interest rate leh? Interest rate 35 years won't change meh? House price won't drop meh? Lan cheow, ok!
Singaporean damn like to pay by installment. Car installment, house also installment, even buy the fucking furniture and big tv also installment. I think my friends, if buy one fuck also can pay by installment, they will also apply.
Maybe next time the bank will issue new credit card, call the Geylang Gold Fuck Card. Go Geylang no need use money, just pay by installment. Fuck 5 times, get 1 suck free. Fuck 10 times, get 1 fuck free. Fuck 20 times, can win lucky draw prize of sports car and one night free with Irene Ang the Phua Chu Kang wife (the new skinny version, not the old fat one..... actually both also bad). Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Bank will love you long time, because your installment will never finish paying, every month you like to only pay the interest. Then you pray and hope your god will give you bonus at the end of the year to pay the rest.
Actually, bank is like the Ah Long and the Orh Gui Tao put together. Lend you money to go fuck yourself.
Anyway, I said to him, Gahmen also love to make you buy house loan long time. Like this you toolan here also won't dare to go overseas or vote opposition. With car loan 10 years and house loan 35 years to pay, you will guai guai sit there let them do what fuck they like, and hope their cheebye will always be like angel virgin clean, and won't give you disease until you die.
But by this time, Raymond never listen to me, because he too drunk already. And his hands very busy playing the waitress neh neh.
These kind of woman they also like, their pua cheebye dunno how many man fuck before, hole big until can put jack fruit inside. Wait their lan cheow fall off then they know.
But Raymond say he buy the drinks, so I go with them. When we are drinking he told me that the new property law now can let you buy house with very little money.
Must be election coming, gahmen so good, make it easier for you to buy house, even though you still cannot find job. Is like those prostitute, let you touch touch their neh neh, make your lan cheow hard, then you forget the last time what sex disease they give you that you cannot pronounce the name one.
Singaporean is like that too. Always let the gahmen rub their cock, make them forget all the bad times.
Raymond said, last time can only loan 80%, now can loan 90%, and downpayment only 10%. Somemore 5% can CPF and 5% can be cash.
I said, ler gong simi lan cheow? What the fuck you talking, percent here percent there, I not fucking maths teacher, ok?
Oh, he said, is very simple.
Last time if the condom cost $500,000, need to come out $100k downpayment, then the rest ($400k) take loan. Now can come out only $25k cash, $25k from CPF for downpayment, then take $450k loan.
He said sian, I want to buy, but my HDB 5-room I bought too expensive, $400,000, in 2000, now the value only $300,000. Sell already sure confirm lugi, lose money until will tng kor. But fuck leh, I also want to buy private condom, he said.
I ask him, so now this new law change means house is cheaper issit?
Raymond said, no lah. Probably house price will go up, because more people see the 5% cash law sure gian one because no need come out so much cash to buy and then can take loan for long long time, like 35 years, then pay less every month lor, he said.
I told Raymond, 35 years is fucking long time to loan leh. Cheebye lah, you think you can have job for 35 years nobody retrench you ah? You don't forget, last 5 years, you kena retrench twice liao leh. So this time if you take new loan, then no job again, then how? Hong kan liao lor!
This gahmen is not god, ok, even though they want you to believe they can do magic and make the new job. Even blow job they also cannot promise you.
I told him, somemore if I take more loan like the new 90%, means my interest also more, right? (This one is I learn from I buy car.)
Ya lah, he said, but less to pay in front, and less to pay every month. Can one lah.
And then, I said, interest rate leh? Interest rate 35 years won't change meh? House price won't drop meh? Lan cheow, ok!
Singaporean damn like to pay by installment. Car installment, house also installment, even buy the fucking furniture and big tv also installment. I think my friends, if buy one fuck also can pay by installment, they will also apply.
Maybe next time the bank will issue new credit card, call the Geylang Gold Fuck Card. Go Geylang no need use money, just pay by installment. Fuck 5 times, get 1 suck free. Fuck 10 times, get 1 fuck free. Fuck 20 times, can win lucky draw prize of sports car and one night free with Irene Ang the Phua Chu Kang wife (the new skinny version, not the old fat one..... actually both also bad). Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Bank will love you long time, because your installment will never finish paying, every month you like to only pay the interest. Then you pray and hope your god will give you bonus at the end of the year to pay the rest.
Actually, bank is like the Ah Long and the Orh Gui Tao put together. Lend you money to go fuck yourself.
Anyway, I said to him, Gahmen also love to make you buy house loan long time. Like this you toolan here also won't dare to go overseas or vote opposition. With car loan 10 years and house loan 35 years to pay, you will guai guai sit there let them do what fuck they like, and hope their cheebye will always be like angel virgin clean, and won't give you disease until you die.
But by this time, Raymond never listen to me, because he too drunk already. And his hands very busy playing the waitress neh neh.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Fuck, London kena bomb again, and Marina got new name
London explode again, three times. Cheebye terrorists. This time I heard it is copycat one. I hope they catch this stupid terrorists, because they don't even have new idea, just copy the first terrorists. Fuck you lah! Want to original go and put bomb on yourself and explode yourself and the rest of your cheebye terrorist friend in the desert lah! That one sure can get terrorist medal. Normal people will also give you medal.I call Jennice, and she said she is ok. So I am not so worried now. She said, this English people sibei zhai, got bomb explode still never panic and migrate. I think if Singapore kena bombs, people sure fly to Australia or US one, especially those got money people (the poor people no money to go overseas, so have to stay in Singapore to fight, or have to swim to Batam or JB).
Be poor in Singapore is damn fucked up, I think. Less and less job for you, and then can only sit and see the rich people make more and more money. How to catch up? No wonder the police say got more crime. No wonder so many people hear the NKF story also get so angry.
Last night I went Marina and sat one taxi (my baobei car was in the workshop) the driver tell me now harder and harder to make money. Drive all day also cannot cover the rental.
I said, not bad what, now they make the booking more expensive (cheebye), and the meter jump faster in the jam (cheebye again), you sure make more money like this.
Mana uuuu, he said, that money mostly go to the see-lang taxi company one. We taxi driver get what? Get lan ah.
I feel damn sorry for him, poor people can only be taxi driver, road sweeper (now got new name but same job), and other job that those educated people don't want to do. I give him the money, I told him no need to give me change.
At Marina I go to play snooker and bowling. Not bad, there got a few chio bu to beoh. But I play snooker try not to see too many girls, or else cannot reach the table to shoot, because my horse kena block me. Hahahahahaha!!!!
The new Marina is quite nice, but they still got the renovation so I keep getting lost. Damn toolan, man. Quickly finish the stupid renovation can or not?
I walk past the cinema there, I think is Golden Village one, and I saw they have big big sign say cannot eat outside food. Fuck their motherbackside man. The ticket already more and more expensive, now you want people to go and buy your expensive popcorn and lan cheow hotdog some more?
No wonder people buy the pirate DVD!!!
Last time, when we go see show, we can bring any food we like. The most we buy the kachang puteh from the indian man there. Ok, the cinema last time don't have so nice seats as now, a lot of them is wooden bench type, and sometimes even no aircon and also got cockroach and rat watch movie with you.
But fuck lah, nowadays they earn our ticket money not enough, have to make us pay $6.50 for some hotdog and a coke. Your hotdog is use sharks fin to make one ah? Cheebye.
I only like the new cinema with the two seats together one. That kind can sit with girl and do all kind of fun thing for two hours, sometimes three hours, because some director like to make their movie longer and longer (as if movie more longer already can win Golden Horse award..... Golden Horse, hahaha, that one I sure win one).
But if the price of going to see show get more expensive, may as well I take the money go to Hotel 81 to get one room for half day, got aircon, got bed, plus can watch the JB pirate DVD movie, still cheaper. Watch finish play finish still can use the nice toilet take bath together. Shiok.
I also read today the newspaper that they wanted to change the Marina Bay name. Gahmen call some overseas new name expert people to think of new names. You know how much they pay these fuckers? $400,000!!!!
And you know what is the name they choose in the end?
MARINA BAY!!!!!
KNNBCCB!!! Spend $400,000 of Singapore people's money, and in the end come out this kind of fuck thing? Marina Bay change name to Marina Bay!!!
Waaah, you so clever lor. Think and think and think and come up this new old name.
Marina Chow Chee Bay lah!
Must be this overseas ang moh advertising company know how to make the Gahmen give them money to come up this kind of fucked up idea, still can say well done. If is only local company, sure kena fuck by Gahmen for this idea.
Ang moh can be very smart, gong wei sibei kiang (mouth very clever).
Make you suck his cock already you will still give him money and say thank you for letting me suck your cock sir, want me to suck another time?
Singaporean must learn from them, or else our country will not be so rich.
Next time want to choose name, I help you. Rockson Choose Name Company will charge you less. $4000 can already. What is your old name? Ang Mo Kio Central? No problem, I choose for you new name, wait, I am thinking and doing researching..... your new name is...... Ang Mo Kio Central!
You like or not? Thank you, $4000 please.
Lan cheow, ok?
Monday, July 18, 2005
Sunday morning running for IPPT
Sunday I wake up early go and running to get ready for my reservist IPPT. Scared fail already have to kena burn Saturday and Wednesday do RT. Damn sian one, do the fucking Remedal Training. Worse is the Saturday one, have to go at 4 o'clock, by the time you doing their cheebye exercise, you at night also no strength to go and chiong already.
I was a bit tired in the morning, because Saturday night we go and drink at a few bar, make a few new girlfriend (got one friendly one call Amber, she damn chio with small round teh-tehs and she never wear the bra and the aircon was very cold, nabei I almost nose bleed, man) and get their number. Amber and her friends drink a lot, those girls, and after a while start to talk nonsense and kiss each other for fun also. I almost did not want to leave. But we go to a few not so clean bars because that fucker Raymond like to squeeze the neh neh of those waitress there, then I go his house to play a bit of mahjong, not enough still buy the 7-11 Tiger beer and drink somemore, drink until 5 oclock.
So Sunday morning wake up was very difficult, KNNBCCB the head damn pain.
But I have to run, cannot don't exercise. Nowadays the army got so many incident the nsman just suddenly die like that, and the MO so fucked up, many of them don't know whether the soldier is really sick or just bluff one. So I don't want to get any medical problem have to see army doctor, better try to be fit.
I wear my running short (the short kind because it is more windy not so hot) and my army tank top and wear the army New balance shoe and rush out of my house. Then I go and run near my place.
I run and run and run for 5 minutes like that, morning quite nice. The weather just rain, so sibei cooling. I thinking maybe if I train more, maybe can even get the SAF money, then can buy a few new things for my baobei car. Suddenly I saw this sibei sexy tan chio bu in front of me, waiting near a bus stop for a taxi.
Her hair was long, her eyes was very big, and her there also very big. She was wearing those top look like a big hankerchief fold into a triangle then tie at the back type and the top like going to burst liao. Her neck there can see her skin got bikini line. And her mini jeans shorts also the low low kind, can see the shiny kind of g-string peep on top, and her long tan legs come out below. She look like she going to the beach, because she also carrying a big beach bag and have sunglass on her head.
I see her already actually want to run faster, show her I very fit, but then I thought, maybe can beoh a bit a longer. So I stop and run on the spot near her, try to look like I have to do some more warm up.
I stretch here stretch there, turn here turn there, bend here bend there. I can see the girl very impress, because she smile at me a lot. I stretch some more, then her eyes suddenly become very big, and then she start to giggle.
I thought, hosei liao, I can ask her for her number because she look like she like me, so I smile back, and get ready to go and talk to her. When I jog to her, she giggle some more and her eyes look like looking at my legs.
I stop to look at why she look at me there, then fuck! I know why!!! My horse is sticking out of my running short left leg, he also want to look at her. No wonder feel a bit cold there! Must be in the morning I rushing and blur like fuck, forgot to wear the underwear! Hahahahahaha!!!!
I try to push my horse back inside because I don't want her to be scared (very hard to do this when the horse is hard), but when I look up she already get into her taxi and still smiling at me. Too bad, but if she live around here, I still got chance.
Lucky I never do pushup in front of her, or else will really look I am trying to fuck the floor.
I was a bit tired in the morning, because Saturday night we go and drink at a few bar, make a few new girlfriend (got one friendly one call Amber, she damn chio with small round teh-tehs and she never wear the bra and the aircon was very cold, nabei I almost nose bleed, man) and get their number. Amber and her friends drink a lot, those girls, and after a while start to talk nonsense and kiss each other for fun also. I almost did not want to leave. But we go to a few not so clean bars because that fucker Raymond like to squeeze the neh neh of those waitress there, then I go his house to play a bit of mahjong, not enough still buy the 7-11 Tiger beer and drink somemore, drink until 5 oclock.
So Sunday morning wake up was very difficult, KNNBCCB the head damn pain.
But I have to run, cannot don't exercise. Nowadays the army got so many incident the nsman just suddenly die like that, and the MO so fucked up, many of them don't know whether the soldier is really sick or just bluff one. So I don't want to get any medical problem have to see army doctor, better try to be fit.
I wear my running short (the short kind because it is more windy not so hot) and my army tank top and wear the army New balance shoe and rush out of my house. Then I go and run near my place.
I run and run and run for 5 minutes like that, morning quite nice. The weather just rain, so sibei cooling. I thinking maybe if I train more, maybe can even get the SAF money, then can buy a few new things for my baobei car. Suddenly I saw this sibei sexy tan chio bu in front of me, waiting near a bus stop for a taxi.
Her hair was long, her eyes was very big, and her there also very big. She was wearing those top look like a big hankerchief fold into a triangle then tie at the back type and the top like going to burst liao. Her neck there can see her skin got bikini line. And her mini jeans shorts also the low low kind, can see the shiny kind of g-string peep on top, and her long tan legs come out below. She look like she going to the beach, because she also carrying a big beach bag and have sunglass on her head.
I see her already actually want to run faster, show her I very fit, but then I thought, maybe can beoh a bit a longer. So I stop and run on the spot near her, try to look like I have to do some more warm up.
I stretch here stretch there, turn here turn there, bend here bend there. I can see the girl very impress, because she smile at me a lot. I stretch some more, then her eyes suddenly become very big, and then she start to giggle.
I thought, hosei liao, I can ask her for her number because she look like she like me, so I smile back, and get ready to go and talk to her. When I jog to her, she giggle some more and her eyes look like looking at my legs.
I stop to look at why she look at me there, then fuck! I know why!!! My horse is sticking out of my running short left leg, he also want to look at her. No wonder feel a bit cold there! Must be in the morning I rushing and blur like fuck, forgot to wear the underwear! Hahahahahaha!!!!
I try to push my horse back inside because I don't want her to be scared (very hard to do this when the horse is hard), but when I look up she already get into her taxi and still smiling at me. Too bad, but if she live around here, I still got chance.
Lucky I never do pushup in front of her, or else will really look I am trying to fuck the floor.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Singapore newspapers is like gangster
I was trying to read my newspaper today and everywhere I turn, like got this NKF news. Fuck lah. All the English Chinese Malay Indian paper also got this NKF fucker news. Ya lah, quit lah, step down liao lah. So many page. Damn sian, man.
The world don't have other news ah?
Then got people write in their letter page say the newspaper company so hero, expose the NKF and their gold tap and 600k and expensive cars, thank you very much our best newspaper in the world of Singapore.
Fuck you, understand?
Please lah, you think this Singapore only newspaper company is so virgin angel with the clean cheeybye ah? Lan cheow ok? They are also another kind of bully. NKF is only the charity bully, but the newspaper company is the rich news bully and also the Gahmen mouth.
They whack the NKF so hard is not for any charity reason, is only because the NKF stupid and dare to sue them first what. They toolan the NKF boss so they call their newspapers and reporters and lawyer all hoot him together, like those gang fight grab parang and run after one fella, except the newspaper company gang is not use parang, but is use words.
Actually this NKF boss, sorry hor, going to be ex NKF boss, his name Durai sound like Durex the condom company, quite true because he got one kind of lan cheow face. I don't like Durex condom, because never have my size, because my horse so big, hahahahahaha!!!! Wear their normal condom only cover my horse a bit only. Eh, I am not stupid ok? Seat belt must always wear, wait get the sex disease and my lan cheow fall off then no more shiok shiok fun fun liao (The Gahmen say the Aids is from the gay, I don't believe. I think the Aids is even more from the lup sup girls and the men who fuck these girls.)
So, the Strait Times Holding know the whole Singapore only got them as a newspaper company, they can do what fuck they like. I think got another newspaper company call Today but they are very small fuck. Some more I ever see those Strait Times Holding delivery man throw away the Today from people's house then put their own Straits Time or Zaobao there. This kind of kuai lan thing they also do, small fuck newspaper also want to kan.
Anyway, if the Singapore only newspaper company is so hero why they never talk about other things in Singapore, like the Gahmen control everything, price of everything always go up, and so many people still no jobs.
I see the price of bus, mrt, taxi, petrol, hospital and other things go up, I also angry. My baobei car getting more and more expensive to drive. But the Singapore only newspapers never say bad things about our Gahmen. I see even the Malaysia newspaper, they also dare to ask their Gahmen those difficult question. Why our hero newspaper never ask why our minister earn so much (Gahmen always say because we are the best of the best and pay must be high or else got corruption..... like that they win liao lor).
This NKF boss make so much money, is also learn from our own Gahmen what. Cannot use peanuts or else get monkey. But no one dare to ask about minister salary, wait get fuck. Wait the Gahmen call the Singapore only newspaper gang and their commando lawyers to come and tear your backside hole bigger, like they tear the NKF ah neh backside, give him three new ass hole.
Lucky the Gahmen here is quite smart and good and clean, just very kuai lan and sometimes don't like to listen to the people idea, like they know all the idea.
Now the people want to make the NKF and the other charity transperent because charity is use working people's money one. Maybe next time they will also ask the Gahmen to be more transperent also, because Gahmen is working people choose one. Singapore people now know how to buay song liao, can be quite scary, angry enough can even go and use paint spray the NKF building, rotan also not scared.
Talk about high pay, you go and ask the reporter how many months bonus they get every year lah? If my English is not so fucked up, I also want to be a reporter for Singapore newspaper company. But cannot one. Wait I write all the fuckyourmothercheebye lancheow KNNBCCB words in my article, then the police come and catch me hahahahaha!!!!
The world don't have other news ah?
Then got people write in their letter page say the newspaper company so hero, expose the NKF and their gold tap and 600k and expensive cars, thank you very much our best newspaper in the world of Singapore.
Fuck you, understand?
Please lah, you think this Singapore only newspaper company is so virgin angel with the clean cheeybye ah? Lan cheow ok? They are also another kind of bully. NKF is only the charity bully, but the newspaper company is the rich news bully and also the Gahmen mouth.
They whack the NKF so hard is not for any charity reason, is only because the NKF stupid and dare to sue them first what. They toolan the NKF boss so they call their newspapers and reporters and lawyer all hoot him together, like those gang fight grab parang and run after one fella, except the newspaper company gang is not use parang, but is use words.
Actually this NKF boss, sorry hor, going to be ex NKF boss, his name Durai sound like Durex the condom company, quite true because he got one kind of lan cheow face. I don't like Durex condom, because never have my size, because my horse so big, hahahahahaha!!!! Wear their normal condom only cover my horse a bit only. Eh, I am not stupid ok? Seat belt must always wear, wait get the sex disease and my lan cheow fall off then no more shiok shiok fun fun liao (The Gahmen say the Aids is from the gay, I don't believe. I think the Aids is even more from the lup sup girls and the men who fuck these girls.)
So, the Strait Times Holding know the whole Singapore only got them as a newspaper company, they can do what fuck they like. I think got another newspaper company call Today but they are very small fuck. Some more I ever see those Strait Times Holding delivery man throw away the Today from people's house then put their own Straits Time or Zaobao there. This kind of kuai lan thing they also do, small fuck newspaper also want to kan.
Anyway, if the Singapore only newspaper company is so hero why they never talk about other things in Singapore, like the Gahmen control everything, price of everything always go up, and so many people still no jobs.
I see the price of bus, mrt, taxi, petrol, hospital and other things go up, I also angry. My baobei car getting more and more expensive to drive. But the Singapore only newspapers never say bad things about our Gahmen. I see even the Malaysia newspaper, they also dare to ask their Gahmen those difficult question. Why our hero newspaper never ask why our minister earn so much (Gahmen always say because we are the best of the best and pay must be high or else got corruption..... like that they win liao lor).
This NKF boss make so much money, is also learn from our own Gahmen what. Cannot use peanuts or else get monkey. But no one dare to ask about minister salary, wait get fuck. Wait the Gahmen call the Singapore only newspaper gang and their commando lawyers to come and tear your backside hole bigger, like they tear the NKF ah neh backside, give him three new ass hole.
Lucky the Gahmen here is quite smart and good and clean, just very kuai lan and sometimes don't like to listen to the people idea, like they know all the idea.
Now the people want to make the NKF and the other charity transperent because charity is use working people's money one. Maybe next time they will also ask the Gahmen to be more transperent also, because Gahmen is working people choose one. Singapore people now know how to buay song liao, can be quite scary, angry enough can even go and use paint spray the NKF building, rotan also not scared.
Talk about high pay, you go and ask the reporter how many months bonus they get every year lah? If my English is not so fucked up, I also want to be a reporter for Singapore newspaper company. But cannot one. Wait I write all the fuckyourmothercheebye lancheow KNNBCCB words in my article, then the police come and catch me hahahahaha!!!!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
NKF boss got cheebye 12-months bonus!!!!
KNNBCCB!!! I just read the newspaper that the boss of the National Kidneys Foundation earn $25,000 one month, and last 3 year got 10 to 12 months bonus!!!Yao jiu ling ling your chao chee bye lah!
This mean that one year, his salary is 500k to 600k, ok?
I do not hate charity organisation, I think people must help other poor and sick people. But fuck lah, you mean when on the tv the people who earn $1000 a month donate and the number on the NKF tv show jump $100,000 to $200,000 to $300,000..... when reach $600,000 of donation, is only cover this CEO salary?
No wonder Zoe Tay have to do so many cheebye stunt!!!
12 fucking months bonus is a lot ok? Some people don't even smell 1 month bonus but he charity boss get 12 months? Lan cheow, ok?!!!
And his one month salary 25k (not yet count the bonus) is more than many of my friends earn in one cheebye year!!! And my friends donates to his charity ok?
Wah, sue the Singapore newspaper for their article, then now kena the whole world know your top secret salary. It is like score own goal, man. Want to sue the Singapore newspaper not so easy, ok? Singapore newspaper is the most kuai lan and richest and powerfulest company in the world, and their reporters is bullet-proof one, you also dare to fuck. See lah? Now kena fuck back.
You ask all the opposition party people who ever try to sue Singapore newspaper before to show you their backside hole. You will see that their holes is very big and now they fart no sound already, because their backside kena fuck by Singapore kuai lan newspaper.
I also read this NKF fucker use the charity money fly first class aeroplane. You are charity company boss, have to fly where for fuck? Other country want to donate to you issit? And even if fly, cannot fly by economy ah? Your backside sitting that first class seat is paid by working people's donation, ok?
I think if continue like this, all those NKF charity tv show stunt also not enough. I think have to call the Zoe Tay and the Fiona Xie and the other TCS star to take off their clothes and suck cock on tv!!! Then maybe can collect enough money for the kidney patients plus this fucker salary and his first class tickets.
And maybe first prize is win a car, a condom house, and one fuck from Fann Wong! Hahahahahaha!!!!
Consolation prize can be those not so famous star like Sharon Au and Ann Kok suck your kok!! Hahahahahaha!!!
Yes, boy boy, papa not making a lot of money, but never mind, we have to donate help those poor kidney patient, children patient and cancer patient, and also make sure the NKF boss get his 12 month bonus.
Fuck your mothecheebye lah!!!
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Fuck those terrorists mothercheebye
I read the news that London mrt and bus kena bomb by the fucker terrorists from that cheebye extreme muslim group, al kada.
Why these fucker want to do this kind of fuck thing? I hope they kena rape by camel who got vd, and the camel fuck their backside until bleeding then their cock fall off and they die. Then when they see their allah god, their allah god tell them, "who call you fuckers go and make bomb kill innocence people? No virgins minah for you! Go to hell and kena rape by camels forever!!!!"
I have so many malay muslim friends, they never talk about want to bomb people. They are the real muslim, I think. Ok, a few of them secretly smoke and drink and sometimes they act blur during their fasting month but I am sure their allah forgive them this kind of thing. They hate the bomber muslims too. They say the bombers is not real muslim.
Those England people are not soldiers, and they never take guns shoot the terrorists family, so why must bomb them? England not just have ang mo people, they have Chinese, Indian and even Malay there.
I read some blog got people say the USA and England country deserve to kena bomb. Fuck your mother backside, ok? War is war, soldier want to bomb, bomb soldier. Where got soldier bomb mothers and children one? Only cheebye coward monster do that!!!
Just because you don't like the USA fight the Iraqianese war, means it is ok the al kada terrorist bomb people's mrt and bus and kill those normal people who are not soldiers? Lan cheow understand?
If it is your own mother children girlfriend die in those mrt bomb, you will not say this kind of fucked up idea. Study so many books and theory, they never teach you what is means killing innocence people is wrong?!!!
I was going to put picture of the explosion here, but too many shocking pictures, I cannot look.
My friend Jennice is in London now studying her hairdresser course. I hope she is ok.
Why these fucker want to do this kind of fuck thing? I hope they kena rape by camel who got vd, and the camel fuck their backside until bleeding then their cock fall off and they die. Then when they see their allah god, their allah god tell them, "who call you fuckers go and make bomb kill innocence people? No virgins minah for you! Go to hell and kena rape by camels forever!!!!"
I have so many malay muslim friends, they never talk about want to bomb people. They are the real muslim, I think. Ok, a few of them secretly smoke and drink and sometimes they act blur during their fasting month but I am sure their allah forgive them this kind of thing. They hate the bomber muslims too. They say the bombers is not real muslim.
Those England people are not soldiers, and they never take guns shoot the terrorists family, so why must bomb them? England not just have ang mo people, they have Chinese, Indian and even Malay there.
I read some blog got people say the USA and England country deserve to kena bomb. Fuck your mother backside, ok? War is war, soldier want to bomb, bomb soldier. Where got soldier bomb mothers and children one? Only cheebye coward monster do that!!!
Just because you don't like the USA fight the Iraqianese war, means it is ok the al kada terrorist bomb people's mrt and bus and kill those normal people who are not soldiers? Lan cheow understand?
If it is your own mother children girlfriend die in those mrt bomb, you will not say this kind of fucked up idea. Study so many books and theory, they never teach you what is means killing innocence people is wrong?!!!
I was going to put picture of the explosion here, but too many shocking pictures, I cannot look.
My friend Jennice is in London now studying her hairdresser course. I hope she is ok.
Monday, July 04, 2005
ATM press wrong button
Today I went to the ATM to draw money. Then cheebye lah, it is those old type, the screen all fucked up blur blur alignment wrong kind. So I accidentally press out $1000. KNNBCCB!!!
So I went back to the bank branch to put back the money. Don't want later carry the money I will spend it all.
The queue is very long because nowadays the banks only know how to close branch. They want to spend less money, so close here close there. Damn kuai lan one.
I was lining up then I think maybe I can use the deposit money machine, but then I see the thing I scared. Wait the machine count wrongly or swallow my money how? I put my ATM card inside to try, and I looked inside the put money part when the hole open. How the machine count paper? I don't see the robot fingers. Just one hole and the door got teeth. So I cancel the button and go back and line up again.
KNNBCCB, the queue now longer. Now have to wait even longer.
But then when I reach my turn, not bad, the counter grl who serve me quite chio. Her skirt also very tight. She start to tell me about some investment and insurance thing (nowadays the cheebye banks not only close branch, also like to disturb people sell them things like investment things). I let her finish her speech, because she quite chio, can beoh a bit longer.
Then I say thank you, I don't need.
Maybe later when she finish work, I go and ask her want to go out or not. Maybe go and sing some song, drink some drink, and she can put my ATM horse into her ATM machine. Hahahahahaha!!!!
Shit lah, now I need the money, should not have put back all.
So I went back to the bank branch to put back the money. Don't want later carry the money I will spend it all.
The queue is very long because nowadays the banks only know how to close branch. They want to spend less money, so close here close there. Damn kuai lan one.
I was lining up then I think maybe I can use the deposit money machine, but then I see the thing I scared. Wait the machine count wrongly or swallow my money how? I put my ATM card inside to try, and I looked inside the put money part when the hole open. How the machine count paper? I don't see the robot fingers. Just one hole and the door got teeth. So I cancel the button and go back and line up again.
KNNBCCB, the queue now longer. Now have to wait even longer.
But then when I reach my turn, not bad, the counter grl who serve me quite chio. Her skirt also very tight. She start to tell me about some investment and insurance thing (nowadays the cheebye banks not only close branch, also like to disturb people sell them things like investment things). I let her finish her speech, because she quite chio, can beoh a bit longer.
Then I say thank you, I don't need.
Maybe later when she finish work, I go and ask her want to go out or not. Maybe go and sing some song, drink some drink, and she can put my ATM horse into her ATM machine. Hahahahahaha!!!!
Shit lah, now I need the money, should not have put back all.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Cowboy like tar poh?
I read my comments and my hero Cowboy Caleb wrote something!
Cowboy he said:
"na beh lah this zhar bo.
Got many fish in the sea. Next time we go ktv together. The tar poh kind of ktv, ok?"
I am very impress by his Hokkien and swear words. Maybe he is not Ang Moh Eat Potatoe kind in the end.
Cowboy, though I like very much to go to ktv with you but you know that tar poh means guy right? I didn't know you like guy type. I think that kind of ktv, you go without me, ok? My microphone only for girls to use one, hahahahahahaha!!!!!
Cowboy he said:
"na beh lah this zhar bo.
Got many fish in the sea. Next time we go ktv together. The tar poh kind of ktv, ok?"
I am very impress by his Hokkien and swear words. Maybe he is not Ang Moh Eat Potatoe kind in the end.
Cowboy, though I like very much to go to ktv with you but you know that tar poh means guy right? I didn't know you like guy type. I think that kind of ktv, you go without me, ok? My microphone only for girls to use one, hahahahahahaha!!!!!
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
你不會懂得我傷悲 (You won't understand my sadness)
blinkymummy wrote me a letter on her blog. I copy for you to read. Life is very hard, want to keep a blog fren also difficult.
She think I have girlfriend, or that I scared of her candidness (I check the dictionary, it means like talk very straight), or that I am Cowboy Caleb (hahahahahahah!!!). But she is wrong.
I have girlfriendssss, I like girl who talk like the candid camera, and Cowboy Caleb have many nice pirate mp3 songs but he is not Rockson Takumi Tan. I don't even think he know Chinese or Hokkien, because his English is the Ang Moh Eat Potatoe kind. Actually, I think I know who Cowboy Caleb is. I need to check somemore first, then I will share with you my Cowboy theory next time.
Anyway this is blinky letter to me:
Dear Rockson,
I read your entry. It is a not-so-subtle way of rejecting my attention. I think I can understand why.
I seriously think it's neither about your previous unhappy experience with a 'cloth badge', nor class difference. The real reason is either (1) you have a girlfriend, or (2) my candidness has worried the shite out of you, (3) you are actually Cowboy Caleb, or all of the above.
Whatever it is, I can agree with you on one important point. You are really not an Ah Beng. You are just 'chor'. Real Ah Bengs mean what they say. 敢做敢为, 说得出做得到. Real Ah Bengs will not opine that smoking and wearing beach shorts are characteristics of 坏女人.
It was good while it lasted. (Err... less than 1 week.) 长痛不如短痛. I am sorry I have to remove you from My Ah Bengs. This is the only way I know how to deal with it. Hope you can understand. Thanks for the memories and dream.
Yours miserably,
Blinkymummy
This is my life. My heart broken again. Always like that. That is why Andy Lau's song is always playing in my heart (he is my favourite Heavenly Sky King):
忘情水
曾經年少愛追夢
一心只想往前飛
行遍千山和萬水
一路走來不能回
驀然回首情已遠
身不由己在天邊
才明白愛恨情仇
最傷最痛是後悔
如果你不曾心碎
你不會懂得我傷悲
當我眼中有淚別問我是為誰
就讓我忘了這一切
啊∼給我一杯忘情水
換我一夜不流淚
所有真心真意任它雨打風吹
付出的愛收不回
給我一杯忘情水
換我一生不傷悲
就算我會喝醉就算我會心碎
不會看見我流淚
Cloth badge Convent girls, they are so good at English and Chinese, and at breaking guy heart.....
(See the new photo style? Lawrence my computer expert friend say Blogger can now use put photos and make the words go around the photo like newspaper like that! Fucking good, man!)
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Going Sentosa Summer of Love party
Last week Sat 18 June, Lawrence and his friend ask me to go Sentosa at night to party at KM8 (call some stupid name like Summer of Love party, Singapore where got fucking summer?).
At first I tell him siao lah, at night go Sentosa feed the cheebye mosquito only. Wait get dengue. Even in day time, Sentosa is that kind of place only the ter-gong tourist don't know any better go and visit one (or their stupid Singapore friend no other idea bring them there).
Day time also nothing there, night time go for fuck?
But he tell me that now Sentosa quite happening, got a lot of party and got a lot of chio bu in swimsuit, even at night.
Dunno whether true or not. Last time I check, Sentosa only got one party. That one is gay one. Now gahmen say cannot liao, Aids is by the gay (sure or not?). So the gay go to Phuket to party and fuck each other backside and give each other Aids (according to gahmen). I hope is not this kind of party. I only like to fuck girl, not man. Maybe Lawrence saw the wear bikini ones is a man?
So, I take taxi to Sentosa, but I was a bit scared, because last time I went to Sentosa was by taking the cable car.
I never go by the bridge before. When the taxi cross into Sentosa already, I was a bit more scared, because I think maybe that fucker Lawrence sabo me by bluffing me. Skarlee make me go there, then they close the bridge and Rockson kena stucked on Sentosa ownself ba long long. Lucky I start to see many chio bu and ah beng wearing beach cloths walking along the road. And the chio bu don't look like man. That means really got party, the normal kind. Heng ah.
When I reach the party place, the line very long, lucky I call Lawrence and he come out and bargain with the bouncer to let me in. I think the bouncer see me also scared, thats why. Hahahaha!!! He lucky I never show him my tattoos (my kind have to take off pants to see one), or else he see already will quit his bouncer job, become insurance salesman.
I go inside, and see a lot of people all wear shorts and bikini. Some damn chio. But got some girls totally cannot make it, but still wear bikini. This kind of fucked up standard face and body still wear bikini. Please lah, guy like to see the neh neh bounce in the bikini when the girl jump and dance. Don't want to see the thighs and the stomoch also bounce, ok? This kind of bounce see already will vomit. Woman got a bit of hamburger on the waist is good, but guy don't want Big Mac.
Those chio one, I beoh a long time, and I can see they also beoh me back. These girls, drink a bit only all become very hiong. Must be at home their mother father control them so much, then they come out to party already, become Sex in the City. I go out with this kind before. Talk very hiong, then when see my horse (hahahaha!!!) and I chute my pattern in bed, suddenly these chio bu scared.
All this Sex in the City girl is bluff one, action only. Actually, the quiet girls is more hiong in real life.
Then I see the chao shortfuck playboy Miyagi at the party! He no need to work is it? Every day party here party there. Can see from his blog, he like to bluff young girl heart and steal their sex.
This guy must be very chee hong. He stand around with a very beautiful woman who is a lot taller than him. One look can see that he like her a lot. I think maybe she like him also because every few minute she hold his hand. But when she talk to her friends (one of them look like those Sex in the City kind), he go and beoh other women. I confirm Miyagi is a chao chee hong.
After I finish my beer I go look for the toilet. My horse may be big, but my bladder is not. The line also very long, and when I go inside the toilet, got woman inside also! Very hiong, this Sentosa party girls! Guy toilet also dare to use. (Or is it they are not girls? wah lao eh, now think already cock shrink, man, but cannot be, they all go Phuket already.)
I wait until they go outside before I pang jio, because I scared they see my horse will faint! Hahahahahahaha!!! Rockson very considerate one. Lan cheow never anyhow swing around! hahahahahaha!!!!
After that, I feel like going home because the party also not very fun. So what if got bikini girl? See so many already also sian. And bikini girls no matter how chio is no fun when she drink too much and vomit in the sand. Girls who is drunk give bad sex and they smell bad. How chio also no use.
The Sentosa music also not so nice, cannot sing along type. Whole night also line up here line up there. So I walk out and take taxi home. Next time got Sentosa party I also don't want to go already.
Before my taxi reach the bridge (it was still open, heng ah), I saw the big merlion, mouth open, water coming out. Dunno who come up this kind of fucked up tourist statue idea. Singapore is the Lion City! not the Merlion City!!!
Actually, looking at the Merlion, it remind me of the bikini girls who vomit at the party.
Face white, hair long long, head inside empty, and mouth open all the stomach juice come out.
At first I tell him siao lah, at night go Sentosa feed the cheebye mosquito only. Wait get dengue. Even in day time, Sentosa is that kind of place only the ter-gong tourist don't know any better go and visit one (or their stupid Singapore friend no other idea bring them there).
Day time also nothing there, night time go for fuck?
But he tell me that now Sentosa quite happening, got a lot of party and got a lot of chio bu in swimsuit, even at night.
Dunno whether true or not. Last time I check, Sentosa only got one party. That one is gay one. Now gahmen say cannot liao, Aids is by the gay (sure or not?). So the gay go to Phuket to party and fuck each other backside and give each other Aids (according to gahmen). I hope is not this kind of party. I only like to fuck girl, not man. Maybe Lawrence saw the wear bikini ones is a man?
So, I take taxi to Sentosa, but I was a bit scared, because last time I went to Sentosa was by taking the cable car.
I never go by the bridge before. When the taxi cross into Sentosa already, I was a bit more scared, because I think maybe that fucker Lawrence sabo me by bluffing me. Skarlee make me go there, then they close the bridge and Rockson kena stucked on Sentosa ownself ba long long. Lucky I start to see many chio bu and ah beng wearing beach cloths walking along the road. And the chio bu don't look like man. That means really got party, the normal kind. Heng ah.
When I reach the party place, the line very long, lucky I call Lawrence and he come out and bargain with the bouncer to let me in. I think the bouncer see me also scared, thats why. Hahahaha!!! He lucky I never show him my tattoos (my kind have to take off pants to see one), or else he see already will quit his bouncer job, become insurance salesman.
I go inside, and see a lot of people all wear shorts and bikini. Some damn chio. But got some girls totally cannot make it, but still wear bikini. This kind of fucked up standard face and body still wear bikini. Please lah, guy like to see the neh neh bounce in the bikini when the girl jump and dance. Don't want to see the thighs and the stomoch also bounce, ok? This kind of bounce see already will vomit. Woman got a bit of hamburger on the waist is good, but guy don't want Big Mac.
Those chio one, I beoh a long time, and I can see they also beoh me back. These girls, drink a bit only all become very hiong. Must be at home their mother father control them so much, then they come out to party already, become Sex in the City. I go out with this kind before. Talk very hiong, then when see my horse (hahahaha!!!) and I chute my pattern in bed, suddenly these chio bu scared.
All this Sex in the City girl is bluff one, action only. Actually, the quiet girls is more hiong in real life.
Then I see the chao shortfuck playboy Miyagi at the party! He no need to work is it? Every day party here party there. Can see from his blog, he like to bluff young girl heart and steal their sex.
This guy must be very chee hong. He stand around with a very beautiful woman who is a lot taller than him. One look can see that he like her a lot. I think maybe she like him also because every few minute she hold his hand. But when she talk to her friends (one of them look like those Sex in the City kind), he go and beoh other women. I confirm Miyagi is a chao chee hong.
After I finish my beer I go look for the toilet. My horse may be big, but my bladder is not. The line also very long, and when I go inside the toilet, got woman inside also! Very hiong, this Sentosa party girls! Guy toilet also dare to use. (Or is it they are not girls? wah lao eh, now think already cock shrink, man, but cannot be, they all go Phuket already.)
I wait until they go outside before I pang jio, because I scared they see my horse will faint! Hahahahahahaha!!! Rockson very considerate one. Lan cheow never anyhow swing around! hahahahahaha!!!!
After that, I feel like going home because the party also not very fun. So what if got bikini girl? See so many already also sian. And bikini girls no matter how chio is no fun when she drink too much and vomit in the sand. Girls who is drunk give bad sex and they smell bad. How chio also no use.
The Sentosa music also not so nice, cannot sing along type. Whole night also line up here line up there. So I walk out and take taxi home. Next time got Sentosa party I also don't want to go already.
Before my taxi reach the bridge (it was still open, heng ah), I saw the big merlion, mouth open, water coming out. Dunno who come up this kind of fucked up tourist statue idea. Singapore is the Lion City! not the Merlion City!!!
Actually, looking at the Merlion, it remind me of the bikini girls who vomit at the party.
Face white, hair long long, head inside empty, and mouth open all the stomach juice come out.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Is Singapore newspaper ready to see my horse?
I suddenly got idea.
If the sarong girl show her neh neh on her blog can become so famous so fast, maybe if I post a picture of my horse on my blog I will also become famous? Maybe can get deal on Jack Neo jteam?
"Naked Singapore blogger show his lan cheow!"
Wait, newspaper cannot use word like lan cheow. I change.
"Naked Singapore Blogger show his penis!"
Hahahahaha!!!! Better not lah. Wait guys see already they will feel small, and their woman see already they want to break up.
Also if I want to famous, also won't be using Jteam. That Jack Neo only got one movie good, Money No Enough. The rest of his movie all damn condemn.
Anyway, J stand for what? Jialat ah?
Singapore is not ready for my horse.
If the sarong girl show her neh neh on her blog can become so famous so fast, maybe if I post a picture of my horse on my blog I will also become famous? Maybe can get deal on Jack Neo jteam?
"Naked Singapore blogger show his lan cheow!"
Wait, newspaper cannot use word like lan cheow. I change.
"Naked Singapore Blogger show his penis!"
Hahahahaha!!!! Better not lah. Wait guys see already they will feel small, and their woman see already they want to break up.
Also if I want to famous, also won't be using Jteam. That Jack Neo only got one movie good, Money No Enough. The rest of his movie all damn condemn.
Anyway, J stand for what? Jialat ah?
Singapore is not ready for my horse.
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