Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Come back from USA

I come back from USA liao. Diu na seng, I cannot used to the hot here, and my timing all fucked up. Lucky I on leave today.

I went to look for Raymond because he afternoon quite free, so can come out to drink kopi. I miss Singapore kopi, man. USA the Starfuck coffee is really too expensive for me.

Wah you damn song ah? Go USA for work! Raymond say, how many neh neh you see and ang moh cheebye you fuck?

No lah, I say, a few only, most day is work. But I think my last night is the most hiong one. Wake up headache and see 4 or 5 use condom everywhere, and one still on my horse. But I cannot remember what happen. I go there is follow my boss one, do cow do horse for him, like coolie liddat. But not bad, still can enjoy my trip. See many strip show, watch XXX channel, make new girl friend, and win a bit of jackpot money. I even find some good Chinese food.

Raymond was in bad mood, he told me that the Singapore union member must pay $1 more a month. He said KNNBCCB, $8 one month become $9 one month.

I look at him and said Singapore got union meh? Where got lan cheow union? Dude! Don't bluff me!

Raymond said Got lah! NTUC is our union. Never Trust Union Cocksucker.

NTUC is supermarket lah, I said, not cheebye union. Singapore dun have union one, dude.

No really, Raymond say, NTUC is supposed to be Singapore worker union.

Dude! Issit? They got fight for Singapore worker meh? I said. I even thought NTUC is gahmen company. Other country the union is fight for the worker type. Sometime fight until small small fuck thing also call people to strike, strike until the whole country stop, cannot do anything.

Ya, I know, Raymond said, but our country is always special than other people country one. Union also special, is gahmen friend, not worker friend. We got the world only No Strike Gahmen Best Friend Union.

Then you join for fuck? I ask him.

Got free gift mah. He said.

I said Aiyah. maybe this Singapore union is help Singapore worker in other way? Cheaper supermarket also consider as help Singapore worker what. Right or not, dude?

Lan cheow lah, Raymond said. Liddat call help ah? Want to buy the NTUC cheap supermarket thing also must have money must have job first what. No job use what money to buy? Call them to help Ah Seng find a job first then come and tell me the supermarket union damn good.

Dude! Ah Seng haven't find job ah? I said.

No lah, Raymond said. He got go a few interview, even got go to the dunno-what useless training that gahmen arrange, but the gahmen people keep ask him to don't so choosy, $700 a month toilet cleaner job is also job. Cheebye, this kind of thing also can say.

Absolutely! So he got take the toilet cleaner job or not? I said.

Raymond say No lah, Ah Seng say he do part time help his friend look after a shop will make more money. Fucker gahmen damn easy for them to say, their minister salary all million dollar one, can still tell we worker to don't so choosy. Call them to give me their PCB million dollar job lah (President job also I don't mind), then see whether they will choosy the $700 toilet cleaner job. Sometime I think our gahmen the minister is brain very smart and hand very clean, but heart dunno put where.

Ya! I also say. The big oversea company come here to use Singapore worker, then when they want to retrench Singapore worker, our Supermarket Union never say Stop! Cannot like this treat our worker! Wait we strike!

No, our champion union say, Thank you big oversea company for come here to invest Singapore, Singapore worker is really need to upgrade, so sorry our worker is not good enough for you. Don't worry, we wun let them suka suka strike one. We dowan hurt your company feeling.

I think last time SIA got one union quite pai kia one, is the pilot one. In the end their lampa and lan cheow also let Lao Lee cut off liao. No lan cheow is very hard to be pilot, because the Singapore Girl cannot suck your aeroplane cock stick in the cock pit. So the pilot all lan lan have to guai guai take pay cut. Pay cut is better than lan cheow cut.

Raymond is very sian. He still got job, but his share all lose money. I told him last time to careful liao, those nabei cheebye China and Malaysia share many is bluff one. But he said never mind, sure make money. Singapore Shares Interchange Company is like the Casino, except no the dancing girl show.

Singapore Shares Interchange Company very solid. They are like police of Singapore Share. They ownself is also company that buy and sell share. They like to attract many company like China company come here and sell their share in Singapore. And the China company happy happy come to Singapore like the PRC prostitute to fuck Singapore people and take their money. But Singapore Shares Interchange Company also suppose to check these company don't anyhow bluff people.

Where got such thing one? Is like Policeman is also the Orh Gui Tao, in charge of catch the pros, also in charge of sell cheebye. Only in Singapore then got this kind of thing. Shares Police is not really stock police, Union is not really union.

And Singapore so like to suck China cock that I read they even give them bull lampa juice to make China friend them. How they pak the bull chew cheng, man! The bull watch the XXX naked cow show and pak chew cheng one ah! Hahahaha!!!

Also dunno what bull donate the gu seow one, wait the China cow born out pa-cheow or got extra cow neh neh. Like that China kio tio gu lan lor! Hahahahaha!!!!

We talk some more and then Raymond ask me if I want another kopi.

Absolutely dude, I say.

Then Raymond look at me and said eh, Rockson, why you talking is Dude here Dude there? And Absolutely all over the fuck place?

It is how the American talk mah. I thought is quite cool, I said.

Cool your 死人头 lah. Go USA two week come back become ang moh ah? You think you are oversea Singapore student issit? Raymond scold me.

Absolutely not, dude, I say. Student in Singapore life very bad one, cannot even say his teacher is 老处女 in his blog. Say already get caning get suspender. I prefer to be Singapore worker, guai guai join the No Strike Gahmen Best Friend Supermarket Union hahahahahaha!!!!

Monday, September 26, 2005

i drunk in las vegges

fck man les vwgas dam niiice man...... i thnk i a bit drumk liao and i vry tied the two girl hole night dowan to stop play my horse..... licky my horse can run very fAR

I MEET THEm in bar of teh big lion hotel and make fren...usa grls is so frenly one ah. go usa!!! hahahahahahahaha111111111 at fist theyscared my horse so big they cunt tahan but now they lik it v much

sory i typr so mamy cheeby mistakr..... verry hard to blog wen got one grl play my jackpt n one ger nehnehs bloxk my view... HARD TO BLog hahahahahahhahahaha111111 i hope i hv enuf condo..... 12 like not enugh

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Go USA see neh neh show

I reach in USA a few days liao. San Francisco is very nice. The weather is cooling and not fucking hot like Singapore. The degree is about 16 and like aircon. I like it very much. Whole country like outside got aircon liddat.

My hotel room inside got internet, so I at night cannot sleep, like now is 4 at night, I can blog. I borrow my friend John laptop. My body still cannot used to the new time so day time I feel like sleeping, night time I feel like working.

When I reach the airport of SF, was night time liao, and I fucking hungry. So I eat at this Japanese restaurant call Ebisu and order their fish cake mee, Japan style one with soup. The aeroplane food is all the ang moh style one, so very hard to eat. So when I see the mee, I happy like fuck and order it. Later when I have to pay, nabei! It was more than $14, US dollar someone. Chee bye! Singapore eat one bowl of fish cake fish ball noodle also $2 only, and even if Japanese style one is only $6.

Later I find out everything in USA the price is not just higher than Singapore, their GST is more also. We 5% already kowpeh kowbu liao, Here the tax is more than 8% GST ok?

The only thing that is cheaper in America is car and petrol. Their car is so cheap. I saw on the TV those game show, they chin chin chai chai give away car that cost US dollar 10k or 12k only. Big car ok? They have many many channel here, even got XXX channel, see until nose-bleed cock-dry hand-tired. And their petrol (they don't call petrol, they call gas, like pang pui liddat hahahaha!!!) is also cheap. US gahmen anything also not scared, only scared no cheap gas give their people to use. So they will go war, if have to do it make the petrol to be cheap.

Not like our gahmen, oh the oil price go up ah? So your car the petrol price also go up lor. And your bus your mrt your simi lan cheow thing price also go up. And go up liao never come back down. You die your business.

I saw the newpaper got Oak Land (is also inside SF) they want to make the people can own only three dog each. This kind of law also have. But then in Singapore want to keep a cheebye cat in our flat also hard, don't say three dog.

Yesterday morning I cannot tahan already, want to look for some Chinese food. I eat MacDonald eat until scared. They got the Chinese food here, but many is pian ang moh one, and is damn ex. Maybe I dunno where to find the real Chinese food.

When I saw got one coffee shop say they got porridge, I fucking happy, so I order that and I saw their blackboard also say got carrot cake! Chok and chai tow kuay! Hosei liao! I also order their coffee (it is the starbuck price kind, you see how many buck you have to pay, you will see star).

Talk about coffee, USA don't have kopitiam that kind of kopi one. Most of them is the starbuck price. You cannot go their coffee shop and say Kopi-O jit puay! You have to ask for expresso kind. You tell them kopi-o the fella will blur at you.

Actually they also got the cheap kind of kopi, but the kopi is those taste like New Water..... SAI CHUI!!! Give me money also I won't drink.

When the waitress give me my order, I very excited. I look at my porridge, KNNBCCB!!!! How come got those raisin and honey pour inside one? And the carrot cake is not chye tow kuay. Is really cake make from carrot. Fuck lah, how I know they call this kind of thing porridge. Is like eat the quacker oats liddat.

I also go their famous prison on a island (some people say Singapore is like a prison on a island hahahahaha!!!). Is call Allcatrez. It is very famous because very hard to escape one, so far only got one old man, last time the old James Bond Sean Conery, ever escaped from there before. Now it is not prison anymore but let the tourist come and take picture. When I was there, got some photo show on the last time prisoner by a Canada photographer.

My friend John also got bring me go see neh neh show at this famous place call Crazy Horse. I like the name. Remind me of me hahahahaha!!! Singapore Crazy Horse Tan got to Crazy Horse see sex show!!!

Not bad, go USA also can chiong. He told me you can see but cannot touch. Last time this kind of place can also get "extra service", but now cannot liao. We pay the $20 (US dollar ok?) to chop hand go inside, but all the private dance is also need to pay more money.

They dance sexy dance wear bikini is one price. Then you want them dance with show neh neh is top up another price. Then if you want them dance their neh neh and cheebye all show you is even more money. Like MacDonald Happy Meal like that, you want to upsize?

The place is a long long room, then got long long stage at the end and also a few vip room (like our lup sup karaoke vip room liddat hahahaha!!!). Even got DJ one. But I think people go there is to see cheebye and not to hear what lan cheow music.

The Horse girls all is very sexy and neh neh very big one. Some of the neh look like got gei liao one.

I remember got someone say Crazy Horse neh neh show is coming to Singapore. But I think is not the same kind of show. Don't have private dance one. The newspaper say the one that come to Singapore is the 艺术 art kind of neh neh show. This one I go in SF is the cheebye kind of neh neh show.

But if come to Singapore is really this kind of Crazy Horse, I sure go one, can use Singapore money hahahahaha!!!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Rockson going USA

I only got time to type a few word. I is going USA! No time to talk so much lan cheow words, I have to pack, I haven't even pack cheebye!!!

Maybe I will get chance to see the MP for Califonia, Arnold Swagganigger. USA damn solid, even actor also can become MP and President. Cowboy who is blur fuck as Bush also can be President. If Bush is our President, and Singapore kena flood like New Orlian, Singapore will be sink until underwater liao.

I like Arnold movie, he damn action. Now nobody dare to fuck around with Califonia because Arnold will put one bomb into the fucker backside and say I will come back. This kind of MP, who don't want? You see? Even his neh neh got muscles one!

I am quite excited, I long time never go to US for work liao. I will write more blog when I reach there. Sure can get internet one, because America invent internet one.

At least go USA I feel safer, this few days Singapore got so many fucked up disease like dengue and also blogger kena charge as traitor. Only scared go US kena rob only. But rob only lose wallet, never mind. In Singapore kena dengue can die and kena charge can go jail for blog.

And best is in USA the Playboy magazine can just buy from the 7-11!!!

Monday, September 12, 2005


Lawrence told me today, got many people angry for me because of the Strait Time letter. He read many blog and tell me one.

I said issit? I usually no time to read other people blog, even my own blog also never read, only have time to write my own blog then have to go and do other things liao. So when Lawrence tell me, I surprise.

Lawrence he say, wah, now you is like internet 老大 like this, your reader is like your gang.

KNN!!!! I fuck Lawrence upside down.

"Chow Chee Bye lah, 老大 your stupid head ah. 我不做老大已经很久了. Don't anyhow say this kind of lan cheow thing, can?'

Lawrence don't understand. He said, why? Quite cool what, got people say want to fight for you. Like you is their leader.

I told him, you is young, and you never experience this kind of thing before, so don't anyhow say the word Gang and 老大. You want me to kena let police play backside issit?

Last time, when I was young punk, I use to be very angry person. Any cheebye thing also use fist to settle.

The fella say us bad word: fight.

The fella say don't agree with us: fight.

The fella say good morning good night: fight.

I thought it was very hero to fight, beat people and help my brothers fight.

But two thing make me stop. One thing is because Singapore police hear the word Gang only, they will come and play your backside. Actually, got another word, Fuck Other People Race, that one also will make police fuck you until kar chng peet, then you fart that time got smell no sound.

The second reason is.... now when I think back, I still don't understand how it happen. One moment we is laughing and drinking at Newton, next moment dunno who make who angry, then they start to fight. Use chair, use beer bottle, even use handphone (last time the handphone is very big and heavy one, can use to fight). Yes, we last time yong dian wei kar tow, nowadays the phone very small, hit people already the phone spoil first.

By the time the police come, already got many blood on the floor.

One of the blood belong to my friend.

Actually, not my friend. My friend body.

After that, I never fight anymore. And when Lawrence teach me how to blog, I very happy because I can write my feeling here.

Anyway Rockson is not interested in going jail, because jail got no internet and cannot blog, and jail got no chio bu to make friend with. Worse, wait Rockson become another guy boyfriend in jail.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Nabei where is all this readers come from?

Raymond told me during lunch today, oh forgot to tell you that got many people read your blog you know or not

I said is it? No lah, only a few people like blinkymummy come here, I am just a small time blogger.

Lan cheow! Raymond say, you know even got the Strait Times say about your blog? And one magazine call Lime.

I am very surprise. I ask Raymond "jun or not? Cheebye lah, don't bluff me. Where they heard of my top secret blog?"

Raymond say his car forum friends show him my blog on the computer and got many people say they read. Even got print out pass around the office to read. He also say today even got one guy complain me in the forum of Strait Time. He say this guy call Airframe complain newspaper say I say fuck cheebye lan cheow too much.

Fuck man, say fuck in my own blog also cannot, still kena complain in newspaper. I got say fuck to him meh?

KNNBCCB!!!! If my English is not so fucked up and got so many fuck, I will sure write letter to fuck him and fuck the newspaper one. Strait Time so free got no news to print issit?

USA got the disaster call Katerina and President Bush, Malaysia want to build crooked bridge, and Indonesia got aeroplane crash...... but Strait Time got time to print letter that complain about my blog say too many fucks.

Oil price going to be high!

Mosquito is going to make more people got dengue!

Bush help the rich white people never help the poor black people in New Or-lian!

NO! The newspaper reporter manager say. This is not important news. This guy who complain about a fucking blog is more important news.

I also never go and say this Airframe guy blog no good, why he come here and disturb me? He is lucky I am now not like last time is a young punk, small small thing also want to fight. Now I am more self control because I got blog to write my feeling.

Use word to fight with word, don't use fist, is my principle now.

I ask Raymond eh you write forum letter for me leh. I dunno how to write. Raymond say dowan, he scared wait Gahmen catch him.

Raymond also scold me fuck lah why I use my real name for my blog.

Wah. Now I am a bit scared. Wait I become famous then NKF want me to do stunt on tv and use my gold tap to raise money for their gold tap how? My gold tap horse is big and long, and can do many stunt, hahahahaha!!!!

I also laugh at Raymond. You think Rockson is my real name meh? I tell him. Rockson is i primary 5 give myself one. Only my mother know my real name.

I call Lawrence the computer boy to tell him this, and he said he check already. Got one day during the NKF time my blog got people see more than 60000 time!!!! And another day got 50000 time!!!!!

Wa lao eh, quite scary now. I feel like I am in the National Stadium holding my horse and pak chiu cheng with Fiona Xie naked picture, and got the whole Malaysia cup 60000 football fan watching me.

Want to shoot also shy.

Maybe I should not blog so much now, wait kena more people complain me.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Go Comex with Lawrence and new reservist idea

Fuck, man. Dunno why this few days, my at home phone got this clicking sound. Also not very clear, the phone sometime sound like those radio when you adjust to no station. Cheebye, if continue like this, I going to complain the telephone company liao.

Lawrence always like to go the cheebye computer show. Singapore every year also got so many of this show, and all is the same one. It is like Sim Lim but they move their shop to Suntec and then the whole Singapore all go there to buy the same thing they can buy from Sim Lim.

How come all the PC show got those name with the X one? Comex, Sitex, Kotex!!!

I follow him to go the Comex show on Saturday, fucking hell! So many people! Car also jam, human also jam!! And many those computer guys who go this kind of thing smell like they never bath one! Nabei, want to go out shopping buy your computer thing bath before you go can? Aircon also no use! Mosquito fly in front of you also will choke and die ok?

Actually this is idea. Get all the smelly computer guy together, go people house their smell can kill the dengue mosquito.

In the end I wait for Lawrence at the Panasonic stall, because sometimes got sexy girls come out and dance on the stage. They wear the small small skirt and the small small top, and dance sexy sexy on the stage. I dunno what sexy dancing girl got to do with computer but nobody complain. We all just stand there and see. See until floppy also become hard disk.

When I go and find Lawrence (he lining up somewhere to sign some offer can get free playstation one), I walk past one guy and he said come come excuse me let me tell you how to get a free i-pot.

I ask him what is i-pot? He said is can play music one. Very good, from apple.

I thought got free thing maybe go and see, so I follow him. Then he start to talk about insurance thing. KNNBCCB! Bluff me what free i-pot! I told him to fuck off, and went back to look for Lawrence.

By the time we come out of the place, we also smell like those computer guys. I think worse, smell like reservist.

Today I saw newspaper got some MP who in charge of reservist welfare one (I think it is that 老处女 one) she say gahmen want to call soldier wife and family go his reservist in camp training. So maybe during the ICT, can let the wife and the children come and stay with their father in the camp!!!!

Chow chee bye! What is this Gahmen thinking?

Want to waste Singapore guys time not enough, now also want to waste his wife and his children time too?

The men morale not good, must call their wife come and sleep with them in the bunk is it? Scared they at night lonely and need to fuck, so during reservist also can do their "National Service" also ah?

Wa lao eh, what guy want their woman to come and see them during reservist?

The old virgin MP even say if children can see their daddy drive tank, so they will know how important is their father duty.

Fuck you understand!!!

I think the children will see their father most of the time sleep in the bunk, read newspaper, and go canteen break. Even those reservist got exercise one also dowan let their family see their father pang sai in the grass, and whole body sweat and mud, look like shit, smell like shit.

And if I got children, I also dowan them come to the camp see me drive tank. Wait got some reservist blur fuck accidently shoot live round from the MG on the tank or parking the tank reverse too fast langga people how? Army most dangerous weapon is not tank not gun, is the blur fuck with the tank and the gun, understand?

Somemore if the wife and family all come and stay, how is the men going to go Geylang to chiong? Reservist is the best time to go and chiong together with your army friend. ICT is not In Camp Training, ok? ICT is Insert Cheebye Training!!!!

Thats why Army always give the men condom when go oversea exercise. You think give them condom for what? Blow balloon have birthday party issit? The SAF condom is so that the men go and fuck some Taiwan mei mei won't kena some disease on their lan cheow and bring back to Singapore pass to other people ok?

You want to improve the men reservist welfare? Don't need to call their family come to the camp. Just don't call them go for so many cheebye ICT!!!