Friday, December 23, 2005

We close our eyes because we dowan to see

This few day damn many report on NKF. The more I read the more I angry. KNNBCCB!!! Can go Las Vegges for holiday call it work! Your girl can from $1300 PR exec can earn until $12,500 cheebye dollar one month! Plus quit already get backpay and somemore can give business for her company!!! Fuck you understand!

Her service to that TT Durian lancheow face must be damn solid man! Only got one job in the world can get this kind of promotion and salary. That job is be call Mistress.

We are so stupid, Singaporeans. Everything we also believe. Look! Cannot be one! NKF is got gahmen support so how can be cheat people money!

Actually you want to fuck, I think Durian is not the only fucker to fuck. You want to find the real fuckers of the NKF cheater, it is those Board of Director, people like Richard Yong, Mathilda Chua (Durian favourite girl) and Alwyn Lim. You think they just give Durian power for fun one ah? Of course give Durian so many power is so that they also can enjoy.

The Richard Yong insurance company call Tenet Insurance can get business of $11,000 from NKF. The Mathilda Chua computer company can get computer business of few million dollar from NKF (the cheebye software also never write finish can get paid!). And the Alywn Lim who is also the NKF vice chairman and accountant never tell people he is some Senior Advicer of Shanghai Intelligence Consultants, some China HR company who got $55,000 business from NKF.

Raymond tell me that Alwyn Lim fucker got one PRC mistress in the Shanghai Intelligence Consultants. Nabei no wonder so easy to make money from NKF lah!

Next time remember, you want to get big business from dirty Board of Director of charity, make sure you know how to make his lancheow happy. Do for him the best stunt in the bed, and he will give you all the donation money you want. Look! I can balance my cheebye on your lancheow! Donate to my company! My neh nehs is so big, I lie down also they still stand sedia! Donate donate! See! I know how to suck your cock and rub my cheebye on your face! Donate some more!

10 cent for the poor and the sick. 90 cent for the chanpion fund raiser and cock sucker of the world.

I think Durian also stupid. Must be he join the Lau Goh camp then Lao Lee toolan and buay song, call the Strait Time dogs to go and tear Durian lan cheow also become cheebye hole.

If I am the new NKF, I will change my name now. Put one NEW in front is no use one. People see the name of NKF already want to pui chau nua, you still want to keep the name because of the first NKF CEO who is real good heart one? I think best is change name to No More Durai Kidney Federation, NMDKF. Like this maybe people will trust you again.

Another thing is sell away those expensive puacheebye chair the Durian gang buy for their diamond backside, sell away the beautiful fish tanks I see inside the kidney centre (so which Board of Director mistress is own the fish tank company one ah?), sell away all the golden tap and first class ticket, and use the money to pay back the poor fuckers who kena sue by Durian when they dare to say his bad things. They are the real heros, come and say Durians evil thing, but kena tekan by his lawyers.

Now we know they last time is telling the truth.

You know who else is sian by all this NKF problem? Mediacock. I tell you, the one who make million from NKF is them. Every year do all the charity show, they also earn good money. You think the Zoe Tay and the Fann Wong of the world like to do the cheebye stunt? Lan cheow ok! My friend who got Mediacock mistress tell me, every year, the Singapore star not just have to act their normal tv show, they also have to do all the cheebye stunt for the different charity show Mediacock make money from.

Most of the do stunt star is got no OT (not like NKF Durian and gang), no backpay, no extra money. Mediacock say you must do, means you must do. One year do so many stunt, the only one who make the money is not the actor or actress (and now not even the kidney patient). The one that make the money is Mediacock and NKF Durian gang.

Singaporean need to stop being stupid. We think everything is take care by Gahmen, even charity also will not cheat people. Now we know even Gahmen also can make mistake. The only people you can trust is yourself. So many big company and gahmen department involve, now then they catch NKF.

PWC: I dunno
National Charity Ministry: I dunno
Health Ministry: I dunno
Income Tax Ministry: I dunno

They dunno who fucking know?

NKF last time say, we are make ourself like gahmen, pure and white. Now we know they also follow gahmen style, pay themself high high pay, say themself is the Only Best Charity of Singapore, and use lawyer and court to tekan and sue people dare to say anything bad about them.

When you don't have transparent, the see-until-you-can-see-cheebye kind of transparent, NKF is what you get. But then Singaporean is use to not have transparent. How many of you have seen the gahmen cheebye? You think the gahmen dog call Strait Time will show for you? You can wait long long! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Go Zoukout see bikini chio bu

Saturday Lawrence drag me to Zoukout at Sentosa. At first he told me it is Tanjong Beach, so I take taxi to Tanjong Katong (when he said Tanjong Beach I thought -- Nabei! Tanjong Katong got beach meh?). Then I call him from the Katong laksa place and he said, No lah you bodoh it is at Sentosa!

The place so many people, cheebye, queue here queue there. Actually not look like disco, more like the Circus Dee Sorry (last time come to Singapore the France circus). Got clown, got those do stunt one, even got massage (not the Geylang suck cock kind).

Then at around 2am it fucking rain! KNNBCCB! But the rain also make the many bikini girls all even more sexy, because very cold and their neh neh sedia! My horse also sedia! Nosebleed man! Hahahahahaha!!!

And the music some I like, some I dunno how to understand, got no words one. And the DJ got many of them got name sound like Germany bad words. Some of the DJ even got those abc with the two cheebye dots on top of their name one (I don't know how to type for you to see).

Lawrence later went internet to look for chio bu Zoukout photos. He took a lot of girl photo himself because he sibei tee ko but he dowan to share with me, but he gave me a few other chio bu photo to put on my blog. I dunno where he get one but I check already, they are all 100% girl one (I still haven't forgive that pua cheebye Lawrence!). Please enjoy some Rockson Zoukout chio bu photo!











I read that Australia got also drunk beach party, but it is not same as Zoukout with sexy chio bu dancing type, but is drunk Ang Moh Ah Beng go and beat chocolate skin colour people kind of party. This beach is in Sydney, call Cuntulla. I think this kind of fucked up party no one want to go except drunk Australia Ah Beng and their police. I was worried Karen is ok in Australia, because she also in Sydney now.

If Karen here she sure go this Zoukout one. But she came back from France a while, and we chiong and shiok for a few days, then she have to fly to Australia to find another friend.

Karen not here, I a bit the sian, so I go back quite early, never stay over night on the beach. Some of the girl I meet there give me their phone number, but I don't have mood to call them. I also don't like sand go inside my horse there, make me walk already knn like my underwear is made of sandpaper liddat.

In the morning I went to have breakfast with Ah Heng, who is boss of no number secret society gang. I say him before in my post about President one. He drink his kopi kosong, and kow pei to me about the stupid loan shark runner who push the woman make her lose her baby one.

Ah Heng he say. Chow cheebye that fucker! I dunno who's man is he, but if I find him, I will cut off his lampa! KNN! Give we all loan shark bad name! We do business one, most hate cheebye problem like this because it make the gahmen have to show they are doing something then come and disturb our business.

Ah Heng say he want to cut off your lampa, you better hide or go other country. He don't use knife one, he use spoon. Those Chinese drink soup kind.

Ah Heng voice now a bit louder, but the other people in the kopi tiam don't dare to look at him, because they know who he is.

You see the newspaper complain us now, say all the loan shark is bad people? Ah Heng say, Why they never say the other kind of loan shark, call Bank? I don't go and ask you, you need money or not, right? No! You need money then you come and look for me!

But this fucker banks they everyday ask you to use their money, get loan to buy those big TV and other thing you cannot buy, then make you pay the loan until you fucking die. This kind of pookie thing, the gahmen close one eye, but they come and disturb money lender like me. I say fuck their motherchowcheebye!

I ask Ah Heng he want to order some more kopi or not, he nod his head and continue to kow pei.

He say, Many of the people come and borrow money from me is not they gamble one, ok? I hate those gamble casino and shares one! Those always the most hard to get back the money one! Make until my consultant have to work more hard to get back my money.

A lot of people is borrow money from me because their family member sick and they no money to pay the expensive famous Singapore gahmen hospital bill. This kind of poor people bank dowan to lend them money so they borrow from me first, then the insurance pay them that time, they pay me back. Good thing is the insurance fuckers always take long time to pay back the family or else I interest also hard to earn.

He drink his kopi and say, Now see lah! Have to slow down my business, and do other thing until the fire is not so hot. How I going to answer my investor? A lot of my investor is actually doctor, you know? They got a lot of cash from their doctor business (especially from write MC and sell cough medicine), don't want to pay gahmen tax so the fuckers give me their money to do this business. They sure toolan one. KNNBCCB!

Ah Heng get up and say he have to go. He got some dvd coming in he have to settle. I also have to go home and sleep. Sunday I sleep all day.

Karen just call say she is coming back tonight, and she got something to tell me. I am going to drive to airport to pick her up. She said she got sun tan line for me to see. My horse can also Zouk Out liao! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Fuck that Lawrence pua chee bye

KNNBCCB!!!!

But I have to tell you something. Fuck that Lawrence pua chee bye. Later he sms me, You like the photo or not? See already your horse hard? I tell you, Rockson, the drunk neh neh girl is a GUY!!!!

Pui pui pui!!!!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Girl drunk at bar kena take photo

Lawrence send me this neh neh photo link the other day. He say is take at Madam Wong bar and the girl is fucking drunk and din know got people take her photo.

This is the photo (better don't see in office, wait your boss see you say you use office time to look at neh neh picture).

Still got people go to Madam Wong meh?

Lucky she is not in Malaysia, or else sure kena do the take off clothes and squatting exercise one! Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Malaysia police minah tekan China mei mei!

Karen go oversea to France for a while, look for her friend there, so I got time to see my own friend again. Sunday I send her to the airport for her SIA flight.

She kena the airport cock up her luggage, because she call me tell me her bags not at the airport when she reach there. And she got no clean underwear to wear when she reach France! I told her don't wear lor hahahahaha!!!

She laugh and say I naughty, wait she come back and punish my horse.

Singapore number one world class airport can so fucked up and cock up people bag. Must be their staff use the airport computer to see XXX website kena virus hahahaha!!

I call Lawrence after Karen go oversea and he scold me say why I so many fucking day never go and chiong with him, got stead liao no need to have friend is it?

I told him cheebye lah, I where got stead? Karen is just friend only, but friend who like my horse very much. Hahahaha!!! My horse is for many girl to share one, but it is true this few week Karen share it more than other girl. Make until I very tired.

Usually girl who like sex a lot is very ugly one, but she is chio and like to fuck also, and also chute many pattern in bed. And she even like to listen Andy Lau, my favourite Heavenly Sky King! Sometime we even fuck with his best of the best song "Give Me A Glass of Mineral Water"!

Anyway I tell Lawrence, she is just a friend lah and ask him want to go out or not.

After we go out Monday night, Lawrence come help me to upload this video that is shoot in Malaysia by secret handphone camera! My blog is now like a tv! It is that video of the Malaysia police minah who tekan the China woman make her naked and do squatting exercise!



You can also see the video by clicking here! Rockson tv channel!

(Fuck the movie kena delete by dunno who!!! Chow Cheebye!!!! Never mind, you go here and get.)

I see the China woman neh neh so nice and big big my horse also hard liao!

I thought Malaysia police just give them coffee money can already? How come this China woman kena so jialat? Maybe she don't have enough ringgit to give them!

Must be they thought she is a pros! Maybe they think all China woman is pros! Or they scared the China woman come to Malaysia make until got too many orang cina.

This video is be make China sibeh toolan Malaysia and also Malaysia own people is shock that got this kind of thing. Their opposition MP also got chance to pretend to be hero.

I heard their police chief now say it is not a bad thing what! We Malaysia police is always like that tekan China woman by make them tng sar and hold their ear and squat until their neh neh bounce. He also say he not angry his police do this, and want to catch the fella who shoot the video.

Like this I also want to be Malaysia policeman! Every time see got China mei mei just catch and make her do the Malaysia Police Sexy Jump for me!

You! China ger! Jump again! Saya want to make sure your cheebye inside is not hiding drug or weapon! No! Not enough, jump some more!

Hahahahahaha!!!!

Ok, you jump liao got nothing come out your Chinese cheebye. I think I have to use hand to check! What! You complain? No use one, my police chief will say we make you naked and jump jump jump like this is allow one! Hahahahaha!!! My minister even say cannot scold us, wait we low morale! Jump for me again! Wait, don't jump first, my other police friend also want to come and see.

I also read their police minister Noh Amar come out and say those foreigner who not happy and who say Malaysia police tekan people, they can fuck off and go home.

Like this how to Malaysia Truly Asia? If the foreigner really go home, then who is the Malaysia police going to tekan and take bribe from? Then they will have to survive with their peanut gahmen police salary only! Cannot!

(Malaysia peanut is not the same as Singapore peanut. Is really peanut.)

I think if I am Malaysia PM, I also headache got this kind of lan cheow mouth minister and police chief who anyhow say thing to make my country lao kui. But life is fair one, Singapore got Chee (Singapore minister of Australia), and Malaysia got this Noh Amar!

PM Addullah already say sorry to the China gahmen, but this Noh Amar minister come out and tell the orang asli to go back their own country. If in Singapore, that minister already kena his orang lam pah cut off liao.

I think Malaysia must learn from Singapore, welcome all the foreigner to Singapore. Singapore is love to suck China lan cheow because our gahmen want the China business.

Let the China student study in Singapore for free, give their mother come here also. Our job also can give them. Student, professor or prostitute all can come to Singapore, comfirm won't kena tekan.

Tonight I am going to chiong with Raymond and Lawrence again. Dunno when Karen going to come back. Yesterday she call me that time, she say she will call me again tonight.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

$5k can don't do NS

Wah lao, I down there very pain like fuck, man. Should not have listen to Karen. Now I cannot even walk properly.

Horse pain can excuse army or not? Hahahahaha!!!

But I heard got some fucker siam NS only kena $5000 fine only? He is some world class pianist, last time go oversea to play piano, never come back to do army, now want to come back Singapore. Come back go army court only kena fine $5000!!!!

KNNBCCB!!!!

Normal people like this siam army sure is kena $5000 orh gong and the three year jail one!

Somemore he now come back to Singapore like is a KNN music hero!

Be world class pianist can pay $5000 siam NS and reservist, be world class penis can downgrade or not? Cheebye!!!!

Singapore gahmen is got one law for normal people like me and you, and got another law for the special, the rich and the got power one. You is world class pianist and you siam army now you want to come back see your mother father because they lao liao cannot fly to England, ok ok come back to Singapore we only orh gong you $5k.

KNN I got friend who run away from army go oversea study, their mother father die already he also cannot come back see them. Come back will go jail. Cheebye.

Singapore is liddat one. If you is world class pianist, or world class student, or world class son of world class father, you can siam NS, or can become instant General, or can even take drug no need go jail or kena hang. And those instant General can become CEO of gahmen company never mind he never do any lan cheow business before. These General never even sell cha kuay teow before, but can use eye power and be big company boss.

Some instant General can even become CEO of Singapore!!! Lucky that one is smart one, not like the gahmen company generals.

But if you is only low class chao beng karaoke king, or low class fail exam student, or low class son of no class father, you will do reservist as chao corporal until you die.

If I know can pay $5k to don't do NS, fuck man, I also go and learn how to play the cheebye piano! I will even learn to play piano with my horse! Can be world class world famous Rockson the Horse Pianist! Singapore Penis Pianist! Got 11 finger! Hahahahahaha!!!!

Wasted I am only Big Horse, and not White Horse. Army White Horse is got the best life in the world. Nobody dare to fuck with you. Rich people, minister people, and those bigfuck Colonel and General, all their son is call White Horse. Some of these bigfuck officer just because their son is in a unit, everything also special, and the PC all dun dare to tekan their golden son platoon.

I think they should have make me White Horse too. When my Horse excited shoot the bullet is also white colour one! Hahahahaha!!! I am world class lan cheow what! My horse is SAF secret weapon. Enemy see they will scared.

My horse is so secret weapon, soldier take photo of it and put on their blog can kena charged one, ok?

Want to put my photo on blog must write and ask permission from Mindeaf one.

Dear Sir

I, NRIC Number, rank and name, want to ask permission put the photo of Rockson top secret horse on my blog. Like this is for to make the Army moral more better, because the men see already will know that Singapore soldier got two rifle and sure win the enemy one.


Hahahahahaha!!!

But army dunno what is blog. You ask them also no use, they only know how to say no first. I read the news say they make the blogger ask permission to blog, cheebye, ask for fuck? Every fuck thing also must ask permission, people no need to do anything already. So I blog my reservist go and chiong the bar and fuck the chicken also must ask permission from you issit?


Dear Sir,

I, NRIC Number, rank and name, want to ask permission put the photo of my buddy and me go to the R and R and fuck the girls behind and in front together, and see the neh neh show. We want show that army life also very fun, not only shooting enemy, but also shooting girl.

Your most On soldier,
Sgt Rockson Tan


Dear Sgt Rockson,

Cheebye lah. You cannot post the photo of this kind of fuck thing because army dowan people know that their men go reservist oversea is do this kind of fuck thing. We tell the Singapore mother, girlfriend and wife that we give the soldier condom is for them use to put water in the jungle training. You want them to know the condom is so that our soldier go oversea don't kena any lan cheow disease issit? Nabei! We dowan our serviceman to kena lan cheow disease because our MO in the medical centre only know how to give panadol. Panadol cannot cure lan cheow disease one. Thank you very much your feedback.

Yours sincerely,
Mindeaf Ask Permission Dept


Hahahahahaha!!!

I read the Singapore newspaper say "Singapore army in USA is damn big fuck!" But the whole world news say "Singapore army soldier write blog and kena fuck!".

So Singapore army now is more famous for blog than for their Apookie helicopter, hahahaha!!!

But nowaday cannot be like old time, got serviceman die or training not safe can still hide from outside people. People is donate their son and husband give you to use for army training, you cannot anyhow fuck with their life. You see how long they hide the commando water training, only got people die then Singapore people know and army take action. Like this how you answer the mother father and wife of the soldier?

Fuck fuck fuck!!! My down there still so pain. Next time I dowan to listen to Karen liao. I like to see her wear her sexy short short bicycle shorts to ride her racing bike (she always jao geng and can see her g-string and sometime even cheebye!) but fuck lah, ride the fucking bicycle at the whole East Coast is damn pain for my horse.

Worse when I keep see Karen cycle that time bend down and her neh neh swing here swing there (she is like to wear low low tank top too) and her g-string keep jao geng, make my horse become harder than the bicycle seat.

Horse hard and ride bicycle is damn pain one ok? Lucky I never go and pierce my horse, or else after ride bike cannot ride girl! Hahahahahahaha!!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

See Karen the Zouk girl again

Yesterday, Karen the girl I meet from Zouk call me to go out again. She fucking chiong queen man. When we fuck off from Zouk that night, she promise to show me her other earring.

We go her place and she tear off all my clothes. Drink so much can still so hiong. Must be she can drink a lot one. She saw my horse and shout like very happy puppy.

I think I am going to like you very much, Rocky dear, she said, you really are a Rock!

Then she also take off her clothes and she said now you can see where my other earring is.

KNNBCCB it is in her cheebye!!!!

Where got woman put earring in cheebye one!!!

It is for sex pleasure she said.

Your pleasure or my one? I ask.

Mine, she laugh, but I got one more pierce place for you to enjoy too.

She stick out her tongue and show me got one earring inside.

That one lagi shiok for me. I no need to tell you why. Shiok for many time that night.

She is study science one, she told me. Got those what life science degree from oversea. I said what lan cheow thing is life science? I ask is it the cut frog that subject, she said something like that.

She say like Singapore want to be medicine centre of the world, so those make medicine company will come here and make their medicine like viagra and invent new super-viagra (I no need this kind of thing, my horse can sedia long long hard hard hahahahaha!!!!).

So she thought study this cut frog subject can do this life science line. But she now jobless and looking new job.

I said how come you got degree in this science but no job?

She told me fuck lah, life science is only those want to do phd (I think is those even more high degree) then got job one. Normal degree people got no job in this line one because the KNN medicine company only want the can study germs those kind of phd degree people.

And the other type of job in this line is check the science machine one, this kind diploma also can do, no need degree. So she and her normal life science degree friends lan lan lor.

Now she doing some part time job for her friend, she said. Her life science give back to her school liao.

But I told her never mind, she can be phd of studying how to play my horse and she laugh.

So she call me again yesterday, ask me want to go out? Go and eat, club and fuck.

Wah. This degree girl very straight. Just come out and say.

Rockson like, hahahahahaha!!!!

Talk about kena fuck, I think the Opposition in Singapore should just join PAP. PAP have their golden horse award show can use free Police. Opposition have their own show must apply and pay Cisco.

Raymond say of course lah. If you is the 99.999999% gahmen, you sure must get free police for your show. Wait terrorist bomb all the come from backside door minister liao Singapore then we have to vote for new gahmen how? Like this is very inconvenient for Singaporean one.

If you are Opposition, and terrorist come and bomb your show, only Hougang and Potong Pasir will got no MP. Hahahahahaha!!!

I heard Singapore going to have no poor people anymore. Gahmen giving out one-fuck bonus. Give you feel good one time then you will forget the last four year you no job and everyfuckthing get more and more expensive.

Lao Lee plant his every year tree time, he say our economy very promising. I also say. Promise this promise that, promise promise promise. Cheebye.

Never mind, last time election they very promising good economy also, in the end we four years kena the most puacheeybye jobless time of the Singapore history. BUT! It is Sars kena make the economy bad, ok? Sars fault hor. Not gahmen fault.

This time they also very promising good economy, so Singaporean all must be happy like fuck. Ah Seng look at me when I told him Lao Lee say his promising, and he said wah yay and spit on the floor.

Tell me when the promising come true hor, he say.

Newspaper say life is become good what, so must be true. Singapore newspaper is number one in Singapore, number 140 in the world. But Lao Goh (so is he plant the peanut tree?) got say, Singapore is very special one. People say we freedom of newspaper is last of the world we fuck care them! We don't need have freedom of newspaper. Got one good virgin cheebye clean gahmen can already.

Newspaper in Singapore no need to report those not happy things one. Like this is not help country. Just need to be guai guai can already. Don't say those make Singapore people angry things. Left hand look like write about the real thing, right hand carry the gahmen lampa.

Must help no job no money Singapore worker be happy and sing song. This call the help country newspaper.

Lan cheow ok?

Anyway after Karen call me I meet her in town. She bring me to this shop, outside got many design. I ask her what kind of shop is this? She said don't worry, it won't pain one.

I said pain? What pain? You bring me come here do what thing?

She laugh and tell me, I think your horse will look very nice if got earring.

KNNBCCB!!!!

Friday, October 28, 2005

Tiger got new beer and new girl


new tiger girl
Originally uploaded by Rockson.

Lawrence make for me new Tiger Girl kopitiam poster because he say Tiger beer now got new bottle and new model (the Fantastic 4 that chio girl call Jessica Abba).

He know I like to collect those kopi tiam beer poster with the big neh neh girls so he make for me.

He also help me put this photo in my flicker and my blog. I just type the word in his PC and he shoot this photo to my blog!!!

Fuck man, this flicker is damn fucking solid!

KNNBCCB!!! I see this Jessica Abba I also want to nosebleed liao. I give her play my horse bottle any time!!! Hahahahaha!!!!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Buy 4D and go the Zouk renovation-finish party

Viceroy Menthol Light, Raymond say to the uncle at the shop. He last time is smoke Marlboro one, but now he change to cheaper brand, because the gahmen make until the hoon kee price very ex. Want to kill ownself faster with cigerete also must pay tax.

I long time quit the smoking liao. Want to support my baobei car then must cut something. Cannot support too many high tax thing, like car and hoon kee. Like this is like kena fuck mouth and fuck kar chng by Gahmen, front also kena fuck, back also kena fuck.

Sometime I stress for work until I think maybe want to start smoke again. Liddat then can die faster no need grow old in Singapore. But wait become sick don't die how? In Singapore you want to fall sick you better die, don't half live half dead, or else the doctor bill will kill you slowly.

It was Friday afternoon. We walk pass the Turf Club after lunch and Raymond start to gian.

You wait for me here ah? Raymond say. I go and buy somemore Toto and 4D.

This is Raymond most favouriter Turf Club to buy his every week the Toto and 4D. He say a lot of people always win from here one, so must die die also buy from here. I see him buy so many year, also never see him win big. I think only the Singapore Pool company is the one who win big.

I already very toolan my smelly cheebye luck, the Wednesday first prize for 4D is 3007. That is my last time car number, and I always buy but that week never buy. Never buy then come out. Cheebye.

If I strike, maybe can upgrade my baobei car, or I can don't work for a while and just go out and chiong, go drinking, bang a few new girlfren.

But I never win, so can only bang balls.

Inside this shop, got many people line up buy their 一个小希望, their One Little Hope. Got many kind of people, office people, old people, young people. Uncle, Auntie, Ah Pek, Ah Boy, all also want to strike. Many many dream stuck inside this dark dark place.

Got job want to strike 4D and quit job. No job want to strike 4D and then no need to look for job.

I also dunno why so many people kowpeh the casino and think until so hard how to stop Singaporean to go inside the Singapore casino. We already have the casino what. Got what thing we don't gamble here one? 4D, Toto, Big Sweep (damn hard to win this one), horse race, football, jackpot machine and shares, we all also have. And if want to play the casino card game, can just go Genting or people funeral. Sure got a few table there.

Raymond young that time is collect people 4D number at the coffee shop for the illegal 4D one. Those is not gahmen one, and the ticket cheaper (prize also smaller) so a lot people especially poor one like to buy, but win already you can get your money also not so confirm.

Raymond say he stop to do this line, because the Gahmen ownself start the gambling business and make until his kind of 4D very hard to do. Police come and squeeze and squeeze until his gambling gang the lampa also blue colour liao.

Gahmen is also gangster, but is got license kind of gangster.

Inside this Turf Club, I even see a few sexy office girl. The kind wear until the skirt tight tight and got wear jacket one. Wah seh, tight until the g-string line also can see. They wear the jacket in office but when come out eat lunch and buy 4D, they take out the jacket let you beoh their underneath the sexy speggeti top. Must be Singapore weather hot, so they don't wear shirt under their jacket.

Talk about Turf Club and club, that night I also go the Zouk renovation-finish party. I long time never go there liao, since that time go Mambo with Lawrence.

KNN! The queue damn long sial. Queue until the fucking Cocktorn hotel. And got a lot of bouncer and security. Tighter than guy virgin backside hole.

But Raymond got friend help us get in no need to queue.

I heard they spend a few million on the reno but I don't think the design is so good. Look like same leh. I think the toilets looks like change liao. At first I cannot find the tap! Then I find the tap and try to use it and I turn and turn the cheebye tap but cannot!!! KNNBCCB!!!!

Anyway if you drunk and dancing like seow you won't notice the design ugly or not. I think they use too many white colour, wait easy to dirty then they know. Raymond say he went the KL Zouk before, and the new Singapore one is look the same. Maybe they use the same designer got discount.

But they got change the speaker inside Zouk make until kan si lang big. Nabei the hi-fi is look like a HDB flat like that. I think even now my head still got the um-zi um-zi sound haven't go away yet. Tiu na seng.

That night also got a few Singapore star go Zouk (is those kind that go oversea people is dunno know who they are kind of star). I saw the stoner actor Benadick Goh and the fat become skinny girl-look-like-guy singer Ohlinda Choo. Also got those Mediacops last time star come. Maybe no show to act then they very free come here and show their face.

Lawrence went and drink until vomit and we have to put him inside taxi go home. Stupid fucker see the buy one drink get one drink free already very gian, and in the end drink so much. Same like last time at Mambo!!! I hate go Zouk this kind of place with him, he always drink until siao then tor. Heng I don't drive my baobei car go because parking damn fucked up and drive already cannot drink with them. Or else Lawrence sure fucking merlion inside my car one. Cheebye.

When I finish put the fucker Lawrence in the taxi I go back, and I saw got one fight outside the Phuture, but got the bouncer come and stop it. I think is got ang moh involve one.

But fight for fuck, man, go Phuture inside got a lot of chio bu to see. Dancing the R and B music on the dancing floor with big tv. Wear until sexy sexy, got the tube top, tank top and teh teh top. Tip top man.

There got a lot of girl hear the music already dance until like their cheebye itchy liddat. I think many is very young or no experience to drink, drink a bit only dance so sexy. But my horse and me never complain. Hahahahaha!!!!

I saw a few guy like to squeeze inside the crowded place and touch girl body. KNN cannot cow the girl have to like this then can touch girl kar chng. CMI man. If can make the girl to like you, you no need to secret secret touch her one. She will touch you first.

I wait for Raymond to buy the drink because we finish our whiskey liao. Suddenly I feel my arm got one girl rest her head there. Her face a bit red but she very friendly. And damn chio, short short, and hair long long, and longkang deep deep. My horse also sedia. Her nose is small small and got one ear ring.

We talk (actually more like shout) damn long time and drink some more. Her English very good like got study before one. She like don't mind my English so fucked up.

Her face remind me of last time got this girl I know who is study degree one, and everytime like to have orgy with her university friends and teachers in the university student hotel.

She said her fren is all dunno go where. So crowded this place. So she stay here and talk to me. She sit more and more closer to me when we talk, then her hand also start to touch me here and there.

Lets get out of here, she say, I am fucking sick of this shit.

I try to look for Raymond but the place very crowded and she pull me outside very fast.

We can go my place, she say, my roommates are out.

KNN! I thought I strike 4D, and Toto and Big Sweep all together, man.

I show you where my other ear ring is later, she say and laugh.

My horse happy until want to escape my jean and come out to play.

But no kar chng sex hor, she say, last time go this twisted fucker from my uni fuck my kar chng and I three days cannot get the fucking condom come out.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Only the Elite-Genius-Super-Long-Lan-Cheow stream can be Singapore leader

My office friend was telling me he very worried his children school exam. This year one boy is streaming, one girl is PSLE. he stress until want to vomit blood and die.

I told him don't so stress, you see me? I never study simi lan cheow degree, also ok what!

He said, your time and my time not the same. Now is all paper. Now the PSLE is so hard, even the poobor teacher who set the question also can make mistake, draw the triangle and square wrongly. And if the children young young don't do their study well, is be hong kan liao. Big already the gahmen will tell them go and do $800 job. So that's why he stress, he said.

Maybe thats why nowadays married people only fuck but never have baby (some couple stress until don't even fuck). Think of the baby big already have to kena so stress from exam and economy, better not to let the siao shoot the egg.

If I am the egg, I also dowan come out. Come out and see the dengue, see the bird flu, suunamee, earthquake and Primary 3 streaming exam, the egg will also say fuck this world motherbackside lah, I stay inside better.

Talk about exam, I read the newspaper and cheebye lah, Singapore only get 5th prize in whole world corruption exam.

KNNBCCB we lose to this four country:

-Danmark (they make the sibei good to eat butter cookie)
-New Zeeland (got more fucking sheep than human people)
-Finsland (they make the Nokia phone and their snow is like our Singapore sun, nonstop one)
-Icedland (there got no people, only polar bear, penguin, and one singer her cheebye name I cannot pronounce)

Our minister salary make high is to so that there is no corruption. So how come we is not be first prize hah? How come we is not be get 100 fucking marks? No 一百分? The other four country that beat us also got no minister earn more than our minister. How come they can win us this world corruption exam ah?

Must be we normal Singaporean fault that Singapore never get first prize. Our gahmen is 一百分 pure and white virgin cheebye one, but maybe is because we normal Singaporean got some get FAIL in corruption. Then pull the mark down, make Singapore never get first. Fucking normal Singaporean! Take bribe and make until Singapore only get 5th prize.

Maybe must make the pay of normal Singaporean high high also. Then normal Singaporean will not so easy get bribe. Hahahaha!!!

You know why Singapore got so few corruption? Because corruption is need human to do one and Singapore only got robot. Singapore got the most 听话 and bestest robot worker in the world, that is why we must get the angmoh come here and be the human to think. Singapore also got many animal, because we Do Cow Do Horse. Cow and horse also won't kena bribe one. (My horse is not the same, is for fucking not for working, hahahahaha!!!!)

Actually I don't mind here corruption so low. Not like other country, KNN, like Malaysia and Indon, every fuck thing also must pay bribe. What to do, they have many poor people and they is used to it liao. But Singapore the no corruption pattern must pay until very expensive then can get, I think.

Anyway Singaporean must be happy. See? Newspaper come out shout got many many new job. Gahmen announce the June got 2.3 million people got job ok? It is like magic! Lightning come down from the sky and Singapore kena got job! It is call the Election Ai Lai Liao Good News Report! Newspaper sit in lorry use microphone shout this good news to you!

Then my PAP MP also send letter give me say he want to come my house and ask me my problem. My MP is so love me! Even though I never vote him (my block is walkover one)! Five year see you one time! Sorry paisei please wait I clean my house nice nice for you first, ok? Wipe all the sperm from my floor and TV first.

I think Singapore gahmen like to get 100 marks too much. Everything also like to get 100 cheebye marks. Airport 100 marks. Ship port 100 marks. Even election also must want to get high high marks.

Die die also must be the top school party. Just pass is not enough even though just pass is consider win already. Cannot give some marks to other school people issit?

Ok lah, other school people is not wear the pure and white virgin cheebye shirt one, but they also want to help Singaporean what. Ok, some of them are blur fuck monkey idiot who wear slipper and say waste time things, but got many of them is normal people who just want to try and give Singaporean another voice.

Sometime I think the Opposition party is like the lousy school those EM3 student and the PAP is like the RI student (RI is stand for Raffle Instantuition). The EM3 student try how hard also cannot win the RI student one. All the best teacher and all the best school building and all the best student is give to the RI school one. RI school how to fucking lose?

EM3 student get 50 marks for exam, RI student will get 70 marks. EM3 student get 70 marks, RI student will get 100 marks. EM3 student get 100 marks, RI student will nabei get 110 marks!!!

Then when sports contest time, EM3 school send one sports champion , the RI genius school will send 5-man team. Sorry, this event only can 5-man team then you can join one. Your EM3 one-man show must go and fuck spider. Other school also don't have 5-man team, so walkover lor! Automatic win.

But gahmen tell us, this RI school student party is very important because we must have the most smart student to be the country boss. Then the rest of the Singaporean, the EM3, Normal and ITE school Singaporean who are not Elite-Genius-Super-Long-Lan-Cheow stream people can have their normal job. Only Elite-Genius-Super-Long-Lan-Cheow people know how to make job magicly come out. So don't complain.

One Elite-Genius-Super-Long-Lan-Cheow school is enough. No need go and vote those Ah Tur Ah Kow in. They not good enough to be your gahmen. If their brain is really the smart enough, they will be in our Elite-Genius-Super-Long-Lan-Cheow school long ago liao.

Who call them mother egg father sperm not strong enough?

Monday, October 10, 2005

Remember the Lan Cheow Things Since Last Election

Yesterday Lawrence call me to tell me he install finish my computer the new hard disk. He say now got a lot of space, so he put for me the XXX photo and the XXX movie. I hope the fucker never put those video of woman have sex with dog one, like last time. The fucker.

He also very excited when he call me. He said gahmen going to pump $160 million to make his Aljunied (he live in Simei) become more solid. I say him he is like pregnant woman who forget how pain the baby last time make her cheebye, and now want to seh baby again.

Everytime got election, gahmen like to give us many goodie, like neh neh for us to suck. Singapore share (is like Indon gahmen give rupiah to the village to vote them), upgrading the flat (because last time they too ngeow never install the lift), plus promise this and promise that. Hope that people smell the cheebye already will forget the bad thing in the last four year.

More Simi Lan Cheow Good Year.

I, Rockson, don't like to forget the bad lan cheow thing, so I write here to remember. This is my blog, help me to remember my life.


- Buangkok MRT still never open

- No fucking jobs

- World most clean country can have Dengew Fever

- Still no fucking jobs

- NKF and their peanut and gold tap

- Build casino never listen the people

- Still no fucking jobs but pretend got those toilet cleaner job is counted

- Fuck people who say the emperor make his son the new king

- GST is become more and more

- Nicoll Highway collapse make people die and traffic jam

- Circle Line never finish

- Buangkok resident use paper white elephant to say their unhappy in the end kena police

- People kena retrench or have to do two job to tahan (day time do one job, night time drive taxi)

- ERP go up and longer hour

- Price of living go up

- Medicineshield price go up

- Petrol price for my baobei car go up

- Pubic transport fare of bus and train fare go up

- Easylink in the bus fucked up

- Easylink in the bus fucked up but blame the people

- Tekan blogger

- HDB flat people have to change their window nail

- The upper class become more upper class

- The middle class become the lower class

- The lower class become no class

- No chance for vote President

- No holiday because no chance for vote President

- 81 years old can still be President, but Singapore worker 40 years old kena retrench

- House price drop $100,000 cannot sell, sell already lose money until kar chng peet

- Study so hard come out no job

- Study so hard come out job take by cheebye foreigner

- $600,000 is consider peanut

- Singapore worker is too fussy because dowan $800 salary, but Minister salary must high because they are the best of the best

- China share become pang sai chua

- Waste our money on China Suzou park


So many year, we put the scotch tape on our mouth. We think never mind, no need have any voice, as long got job got goodie, Singaporean can don't shake the boat.

Now the boat already kena leak water and the Singaporean is paddle water.

Now maybe goodie is not enough. Maybe idea must come from many place not just one. Maybe no job but at least got a few more voice for us is better than no job and no voice.

I think already I also sian 1/2. Also a bit the headache. Maybe I will see the XXX movie Lawrence give me. I hope is girl-girl or girl-guy one. Girl-guy-girl also can. But guy-guy one will remind me how my kar chng kena fuck.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Bali terrorist fuckers and Singapore racister blogger

Today I meet Raymond because he morning want to see car. The COE drop so low, he very gian to change car. He read the newspaper say Car is Now Very Cheap! Buy Buy Buy!

Why those newspaper never say Car is Now Very Cheap Because Economy Fucked Up and People Scared No Job and Don't Dare to Buy?

After we see a few the showroom in Lengkee, we go and have lunch.

I order two teh tarek for us and sit down.

I saw one guy he read his newspaper about they trying to catch the pooky terrorist that bomb Bali.

Those terrorist go and bomb Bali again. Kill so many their own people also. What the fuck are they doing?!!! I say to Raymond.

Ya, he said. Next time I dowan go Holland V and those club got many ang moh one liao. Wait the muslim terrorist bomb there how?

I fuck him upside down. Lan cheow lah Raymond! Those people who use bomb and bomb other people is not real muslim!!! Please don't anyhow call them muslim. I got many real muslim friend and they don't like this kill people.

I say, These Jermina Ismylan or shortcut call JI is those fake muslim. Say they do for their God. Fuck you understand? These terrorist like to suicide bomb why don't all go inside one room in some Indon island got nobody live one, then all bomb each other together? Then can go their fake heaven of many virgin (actually go to fucking HELL of many devil!!!) and the world got less this kind of cheebye fucker.

Raymond say Wah don't say so loud leh, wait got muslim hear already beh song.

I say Please lah, people should all come out and fuck this kind of evil thing. Buddist and Christian and Muslim all should fuck the terrorist mothercheebye. Especially the real peaceful Muslim should condemn them. If I am them, I also will tulan these terrorist make my religion become name smelly liao. Make until all the good muslim and even those look a bit dark skin one kena USA custom check backside hole.

I drink my teh and say, KNNBCCB the Indo gahmen also one kind, the JI last time already bomb Bali one time liao, they not just never cut off their leader lampah (jail few fucking months only), they also never ban the JI gang.

Maybe hard to ban them meh? Raymond say.

Fuck lah, how many more their own people kena bomb by JI gangster fucker then the Indo gahmen will ban this JI, I say. If in Singapore, I think not just will ban them, they will cut off their lan cheow and lampah man!!

Raymond say, Aiyah, if the Indo gahmen ban the JI, I think will also have riot. I think the whole Indonesia only got JI give the poor people job. Suicide bomb terrorist is also a job what! Die liao the JI company still look after their family, help to look after their children so that when they big already, they can also like their father be a human bomb.

I drink my teh and nod my head.

Sometime be poor is very easy to become terrorist company chao recruit. If their economy not so fucked up and their gahmen not so corrupted, like to jiak lui, maybe won't have so many poor people will want do human bomb job.

My Lontong come and I start to eat first. Raymond go and order the nasi padang because the minah who is the rice stall owner daughter is very chio and her two burger-dil quite big. Raymond damn fucker one sometime.

Eh, Raymond said, you got hear the two blogger who write the Malay bad things kena charge kena jail leh!

Ya, those two fucker also stupid one, say this kind of fuck other race words, I say. Some more nowadays very touchy time.

One kena charge one day jail and fine 5k, the other one 1 month jail, man! Raymond say.

Nabei! One month ah? I say. Damn serious hor?

Ya lor, Raymond said. Like this many Chinese taxi uncle will also kena jail.

I say, Ya! You go the coffee shop and hear some of the Ah Pek talk, worse than this blogger, I think. Lucky the racister Ah Pek got no blog, or else sure will write a lot of fuck other race cheebye words and kena go jail! Haha!

The Malay uncle bring another teh tarek for us. We smile and say thank you uncle.

Raymond say, Actually whack the racister Singaporean like this I think is no use. Ok lor, the racister think, say race thing will kena jail, so we better keep inside, become secret racister. Then one day all the racister hate all explode out, his brain become like time bomb, because Singapore got no space for people to talk their problem. Noooo, Singapore got no racister problem one! All the racister go jail already!

I say, I also dunno why Singapore judge and gahmen like jail so much. Cheat your bus ezlink card also jail. Shoplifter also jail (11 years got one case!). Racister fuck other race in blog also jail. Ask for tolong pan-chan get DOUBLE JAIL!!!! Jail jail jail! They got no other idea issit? Maybe Singapore got a lot of reclaim land and empty HDB flat no one want to buy, so can make into jail, I say and laugh hahahahahaha!!!!

Raymond say, Maybe the judge bonus count by how many people go jail one hahahahaha!!!

I also laugh, you know what our mechanic Peter say last time? When your toolbox inside only got hammer, every cheebye problem is a nail. Hahahahahaha!!!!!

But those two blogger also damn stupid. They never live in the time when small small thing can kena fighting between the race. I know, I fight in those fight before when I young that time. Study so much but no brain to think, these two blogger. Do the thing that make you is become the Nail for gahmen Hammer to whack.

Rockson got no time for the hate other people race. Rockson is love all race! Rockson horse like to hammer all the girl of the world! Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Come back from USA

I come back from USA liao. Diu na seng, I cannot used to the hot here, and my timing all fucked up. Lucky I on leave today.

I went to look for Raymond because he afternoon quite free, so can come out to drink kopi. I miss Singapore kopi, man. USA the Starfuck coffee is really too expensive for me.

Wah you damn song ah? Go USA for work! Raymond say, how many neh neh you see and ang moh cheebye you fuck?

No lah, I say, a few only, most day is work. But I think my last night is the most hiong one. Wake up headache and see 4 or 5 use condom everywhere, and one still on my horse. But I cannot remember what happen. I go there is follow my boss one, do cow do horse for him, like coolie liddat. But not bad, still can enjoy my trip. See many strip show, watch XXX channel, make new girl friend, and win a bit of jackpot money. I even find some good Chinese food.

Raymond was in bad mood, he told me that the Singapore union member must pay $1 more a month. He said KNNBCCB, $8 one month become $9 one month.

I look at him and said Singapore got union meh? Where got lan cheow union? Dude! Don't bluff me!

Raymond said Got lah! NTUC is our union. Never Trust Union Cocksucker.

NTUC is supermarket lah, I said, not cheebye union. Singapore dun have union one, dude.

No really, Raymond say, NTUC is supposed to be Singapore worker union.

Dude! Issit? They got fight for Singapore worker meh? I said. I even thought NTUC is gahmen company. Other country the union is fight for the worker type. Sometime fight until small small fuck thing also call people to strike, strike until the whole country stop, cannot do anything.

Ya, I know, Raymond said, but our country is always special than other people country one. Union also special, is gahmen friend, not worker friend. We got the world only No Strike Gahmen Best Friend Union.

Then you join for fuck? I ask him.

Got free gift mah. He said.

I said Aiyah. maybe this Singapore union is help Singapore worker in other way? Cheaper supermarket also consider as help Singapore worker what. Right or not, dude?

Lan cheow lah, Raymond said. Liddat call help ah? Want to buy the NTUC cheap supermarket thing also must have money must have job first what. No job use what money to buy? Call them to help Ah Seng find a job first then come and tell me the supermarket union damn good.

Dude! Ah Seng haven't find job ah? I said.

No lah, Raymond said. He got go a few interview, even got go to the dunno-what useless training that gahmen arrange, but the gahmen people keep ask him to don't so choosy, $700 a month toilet cleaner job is also job. Cheebye, this kind of thing also can say.

Absolutely! So he got take the toilet cleaner job or not? I said.

Raymond say No lah, Ah Seng say he do part time help his friend look after a shop will make more money. Fucker gahmen damn easy for them to say, their minister salary all million dollar one, can still tell we worker to don't so choosy. Call them to give me their PCB million dollar job lah (President job also I don't mind), then see whether they will choosy the $700 toilet cleaner job. Sometime I think our gahmen the minister is brain very smart and hand very clean, but heart dunno put where.

Ya! I also say. The big oversea company come here to use Singapore worker, then when they want to retrench Singapore worker, our Supermarket Union never say Stop! Cannot like this treat our worker! Wait we strike!

No, our champion union say, Thank you big oversea company for come here to invest Singapore, Singapore worker is really need to upgrade, so sorry our worker is not good enough for you. Don't worry, we wun let them suka suka strike one. We dowan hurt your company feeling.

I think last time SIA got one union quite pai kia one, is the pilot one. In the end their lampa and lan cheow also let Lao Lee cut off liao. No lan cheow is very hard to be pilot, because the Singapore Girl cannot suck your aeroplane cock stick in the cock pit. So the pilot all lan lan have to guai guai take pay cut. Pay cut is better than lan cheow cut.

Raymond is very sian. He still got job, but his share all lose money. I told him last time to careful liao, those nabei cheebye China and Malaysia share many is bluff one. But he said never mind, sure make money. Singapore Shares Interchange Company is like the Casino, except no the dancing girl show.

Singapore Shares Interchange Company very solid. They are like police of Singapore Share. They ownself is also company that buy and sell share. They like to attract many company like China company come here and sell their share in Singapore. And the China company happy happy come to Singapore like the PRC prostitute to fuck Singapore people and take their money. But Singapore Shares Interchange Company also suppose to check these company don't anyhow bluff people.

Where got such thing one? Is like Policeman is also the Orh Gui Tao, in charge of catch the pros, also in charge of sell cheebye. Only in Singapore then got this kind of thing. Shares Police is not really stock police, Union is not really union.

And Singapore so like to suck China cock that I read they even give them bull lampa juice to make China friend them. How they pak the bull chew cheng, man! The bull watch the XXX naked cow show and pak chew cheng one ah! Hahahaha!!!

Also dunno what bull donate the gu seow one, wait the China cow born out pa-cheow or got extra cow neh neh. Like that China kio tio gu lan lor! Hahahahaha!!!!

We talk some more and then Raymond ask me if I want another kopi.

Absolutely dude, I say.

Then Raymond look at me and said eh, Rockson, why you talking is Dude here Dude there? And Absolutely all over the fuck place?

It is how the American talk mah. I thought is quite cool, I said.

Cool your 死人头 lah. Go USA two week come back become ang moh ah? You think you are oversea Singapore student issit? Raymond scold me.

Absolutely not, dude, I say. Student in Singapore life very bad one, cannot even say his teacher is 老处女 in his blog. Say already get caning get suspender. I prefer to be Singapore worker, guai guai join the No Strike Gahmen Best Friend Supermarket Union hahahahahaha!!!!

Monday, September 26, 2005

i drunk in las vegges

fck man les vwgas dam niiice man...... i thnk i a bit drumk liao and i vry tied the two girl hole night dowan to stop play my horse..... licky my horse can run very fAR

I MEET THEm in bar of teh big lion hotel and make fren...usa grls is so frenly one ah. go usa!!! hahahahahahahaha111111111 at fist theyscared my horse so big they cunt tahan but now they lik it v much

sory i typr so mamy cheeby mistakr..... verry hard to blog wen got one grl play my jackpt n one ger nehnehs bloxk my view... HARD TO BLog hahahahahahhahahaha111111 i hope i hv enuf condo..... 12 like not enugh

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Go USA see neh neh show

I reach in USA a few days liao. San Francisco is very nice. The weather is cooling and not fucking hot like Singapore. The degree is about 16 and like aircon. I like it very much. Whole country like outside got aircon liddat.

My hotel room inside got internet, so I at night cannot sleep, like now is 4 at night, I can blog. I borrow my friend John laptop. My body still cannot used to the new time so day time I feel like sleeping, night time I feel like working.

When I reach the airport of SF, was night time liao, and I fucking hungry. So I eat at this Japanese restaurant call Ebisu and order their fish cake mee, Japan style one with soup. The aeroplane food is all the ang moh style one, so very hard to eat. So when I see the mee, I happy like fuck and order it. Later when I have to pay, nabei! It was more than $14, US dollar someone. Chee bye! Singapore eat one bowl of fish cake fish ball noodle also $2 only, and even if Japanese style one is only $6.

Later I find out everything in USA the price is not just higher than Singapore, their GST is more also. We 5% already kowpeh kowbu liao, Here the tax is more than 8% GST ok?

The only thing that is cheaper in America is car and petrol. Their car is so cheap. I saw on the TV those game show, they chin chin chai chai give away car that cost US dollar 10k or 12k only. Big car ok? They have many many channel here, even got XXX channel, see until nose-bleed cock-dry hand-tired. And their petrol (they don't call petrol, they call gas, like pang pui liddat hahahaha!!!) is also cheap. US gahmen anything also not scared, only scared no cheap gas give their people to use. So they will go war, if have to do it make the petrol to be cheap.

Not like our gahmen, oh the oil price go up ah? So your car the petrol price also go up lor. And your bus your mrt your simi lan cheow thing price also go up. And go up liao never come back down. You die your business.

I saw the newpaper got Oak Land (is also inside SF) they want to make the people can own only three dog each. This kind of law also have. But then in Singapore want to keep a cheebye cat in our flat also hard, don't say three dog.

Yesterday morning I cannot tahan already, want to look for some Chinese food. I eat MacDonald eat until scared. They got the Chinese food here, but many is pian ang moh one, and is damn ex. Maybe I dunno where to find the real Chinese food.

When I saw got one coffee shop say they got porridge, I fucking happy, so I order that and I saw their blackboard also say got carrot cake! Chok and chai tow kuay! Hosei liao! I also order their coffee (it is the starbuck price kind, you see how many buck you have to pay, you will see star).

Talk about coffee, USA don't have kopitiam that kind of kopi one. Most of them is the starbuck price. You cannot go their coffee shop and say Kopi-O jit puay! You have to ask for expresso kind. You tell them kopi-o the fella will blur at you.

Actually they also got the cheap kind of kopi, but the kopi is those taste like New Water..... SAI CHUI!!! Give me money also I won't drink.

When the waitress give me my order, I very excited. I look at my porridge, KNNBCCB!!!! How come got those raisin and honey pour inside one? And the carrot cake is not chye tow kuay. Is really cake make from carrot. Fuck lah, how I know they call this kind of thing porridge. Is like eat the quacker oats liddat.

I also go their famous prison on a island (some people say Singapore is like a prison on a island hahahahaha!!!). Is call Allcatrez. It is very famous because very hard to escape one, so far only got one old man, last time the old James Bond Sean Conery, ever escaped from there before. Now it is not prison anymore but let the tourist come and take picture. When I was there, got some photo show on the last time prisoner by a Canada photographer.

My friend John also got bring me go see neh neh show at this famous place call Crazy Horse. I like the name. Remind me of me hahahahaha!!! Singapore Crazy Horse Tan got to Crazy Horse see sex show!!!

Not bad, go USA also can chiong. He told me you can see but cannot touch. Last time this kind of place can also get "extra service", but now cannot liao. We pay the $20 (US dollar ok?) to chop hand go inside, but all the private dance is also need to pay more money.

They dance sexy dance wear bikini is one price. Then you want them dance with show neh neh is top up another price. Then if you want them dance their neh neh and cheebye all show you is even more money. Like MacDonald Happy Meal like that, you want to upsize?

The place is a long long room, then got long long stage at the end and also a few vip room (like our lup sup karaoke vip room liddat hahahaha!!!). Even got DJ one. But I think people go there is to see cheebye and not to hear what lan cheow music.

The Horse girls all is very sexy and neh neh very big one. Some of the neh look like got gei liao one.

I remember got someone say Crazy Horse neh neh show is coming to Singapore. But I think is not the same kind of show. Don't have private dance one. The newspaper say the one that come to Singapore is the 艺术 art kind of neh neh show. This one I go in SF is the cheebye kind of neh neh show.

But if come to Singapore is really this kind of Crazy Horse, I sure go one, can use Singapore money hahahahaha!!!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Rockson going USA

I only got time to type a few word. I is going USA! No time to talk so much lan cheow words, I have to pack, I haven't even pack cheebye!!!

Maybe I will get chance to see the MP for Califonia, Arnold Swagganigger. USA damn solid, even actor also can become MP and President. Cowboy who is blur fuck as Bush also can be President. If Bush is our President, and Singapore kena flood like New Orlian, Singapore will be sink until underwater liao.

I like Arnold movie, he damn action. Now nobody dare to fuck around with Califonia because Arnold will put one bomb into the fucker backside and say I will come back. This kind of MP, who don't want? You see? Even his neh neh got muscles one!

I am quite excited, I long time never go to US for work liao. I will write more blog when I reach there. Sure can get internet one, because America invent internet one.

At least go USA I feel safer, this few days Singapore got so many fucked up disease like dengue and also blogger kena charge as traitor. Only scared go US kena rob only. But rob only lose wallet, never mind. In Singapore kena dengue can die and kena charge can go jail for blog.

And best is in USA the Playboy magazine can just buy from the 7-11!!!

Monday, September 12, 2005

我不做老大已经很久了

Lawrence told me today, got many people angry for me because of the Strait Time letter. He read many blog and tell me one.

I said issit? I usually no time to read other people blog, even my own blog also never read, only have time to write my own blog then have to go and do other things liao. So when Lawrence tell me, I surprise.

Lawrence he say, wah, now you is like internet 老大 like this, your reader is like your gang.

KNN!!!! I fuck Lawrence upside down.

"Chow Chee Bye lah, 老大 your stupid head ah. 我不做老大已经很久了. Don't anyhow say this kind of lan cheow thing, can?'

Lawrence don't understand. He said, why? Quite cool what, got people say want to fight for you. Like you is their leader.

I told him, you is young, and you never experience this kind of thing before, so don't anyhow say the word Gang and 老大. You want me to kena let police play backside issit?

Last time, when I was young punk, I use to be very angry person. Any cheebye thing also use fist to settle.

The fella say us bad word: fight.

The fella say don't agree with us: fight.

The fella say good morning good night: fight.

I thought it was very hero to fight, beat people and help my brothers fight.

But two thing make me stop. One thing is because Singapore police hear the word Gang only, they will come and play your backside. Actually, got another word, Fuck Other People Race, that one also will make police fuck you until kar chng peet, then you fart that time got smell no sound.

The second reason is.... now when I think back, I still don't understand how it happen. One moment we is laughing and drinking at Newton, next moment dunno who make who angry, then they start to fight. Use chair, use beer bottle, even use handphone (last time the handphone is very big and heavy one, can use to fight). Yes, we last time yong dian wei kar tow, nowadays the phone very small, hit people already the phone spoil first.

By the time the police come, already got many blood on the floor.

One of the blood belong to my friend.

Actually, not my friend. My friend body.

After that, I never fight anymore. And when Lawrence teach me how to blog, I very happy because I can write my feeling here.

Anyway Rockson is not interested in going jail, because jail got no internet and cannot blog, and jail got no chio bu to make friend with. Worse, wait Rockson become another guy boyfriend in jail.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Nabei where is all this readers come from?

Raymond told me during lunch today, oh forgot to tell you that got many people read your blog you know or not

I said is it? No lah, only a few people like blinkymummy come here, I am just a small time blogger.

Lan cheow! Raymond say, you know even got the Strait Times say about your blog? And one magazine call Lime.

I am very surprise. I ask Raymond "jun or not? Cheebye lah, don't bluff me. Where they heard of my top secret blog?"

Raymond say his car forum friends show him my blog on the computer and got many people say they read. Even got print out pass around the office to read. He also say today even got one guy complain me in the forum of Strait Time. He say this guy call Airframe complain newspaper say I say fuck cheebye lan cheow too much.

Fuck man, say fuck in my own blog also cannot, still kena complain in newspaper. I got say fuck to him meh?

KNNBCCB!!!! If my English is not so fucked up and got so many fuck, I will sure write letter to fuck him and fuck the newspaper one. Strait Time so free got no news to print issit?

USA got the disaster call Katerina and President Bush, Malaysia want to build crooked bridge, and Indonesia got aeroplane crash...... but Strait Time got time to print letter that complain about my blog say too many fucks.

Oil price going to be high!

Mosquito is going to make more people got dengue!

Bush help the rich white people never help the poor black people in New Or-lian!

NO! The newspaper reporter manager say. This is not important news. This guy who complain about a fucking blog is more important news.

I also never go and say this Airframe guy blog no good, why he come here and disturb me? He is lucky I am now not like last time is a young punk, small small thing also want to fight. Now I am more self control because I got blog to write my feeling.

Use word to fight with word, don't use fist, is my principle now.

I ask Raymond eh you write forum letter for me leh. I dunno how to write. Raymond say dowan, he scared wait Gahmen catch him.

Raymond also scold me fuck lah why I use my real name for my blog.

Wah. Now I am a bit scared. Wait I become famous then NKF want me to do stunt on tv and use my gold tap to raise money for their gold tap how? My gold tap horse is big and long, and can do many stunt, hahahahaha!!!!

I also laugh at Raymond. You think Rockson is my real name meh? I tell him. Rockson is i primary 5 give myself one. Only my mother know my real name.

I call Lawrence the computer boy to tell him this, and he said he check already. Got one day during the NKF time my blog got people see more than 60000 time!!!! And another day got 50000 time!!!!!

Wa lao eh, quite scary now. I feel like I am in the National Stadium holding my horse and pak chiu cheng with Fiona Xie naked picture, and got the whole Malaysia cup 60000 football fan watching me.

Want to shoot also shy.

Maybe I should not blog so much now, wait kena more people complain me.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Go Comex with Lawrence and new reservist idea

Fuck, man. Dunno why this few days, my at home phone got this clicking sound. Also not very clear, the phone sometime sound like those radio when you adjust to no station. Cheebye, if continue like this, I going to complain the telephone company liao.

Lawrence always like to go the cheebye computer show. Singapore every year also got so many of this show, and all is the same one. It is like Sim Lim but they move their shop to Suntec and then the whole Singapore all go there to buy the same thing they can buy from Sim Lim.

How come all the PC show got those name with the X one? Comex, Sitex, Kotex!!!

I follow him to go the Comex show on Saturday, fucking hell! So many people! Car also jam, human also jam!! And many those computer guys who go this kind of thing smell like they never bath one! Nabei, want to go out shopping buy your computer thing bath before you go can? Aircon also no use! Mosquito fly in front of you also will choke and die ok?

Actually this is idea. Get all the smelly computer guy together, go people house their smell can kill the dengue mosquito.

In the end I wait for Lawrence at the Panasonic stall, because sometimes got sexy girls come out and dance on the stage. They wear the small small skirt and the small small top, and dance sexy sexy on the stage. I dunno what sexy dancing girl got to do with computer but nobody complain. We all just stand there and see. See until floppy also become hard disk.

When I go and find Lawrence (he lining up somewhere to sign some offer can get free playstation one), I walk past one guy and he said come come excuse me let me tell you how to get a free i-pot.

I ask him what is i-pot? He said is can play music one. Very good, from apple.

I thought got free thing maybe go and see, so I follow him. Then he start to talk about insurance thing. KNNBCCB! Bluff me what free i-pot! I told him to fuck off, and went back to look for Lawrence.

By the time we come out of the place, we also smell like those computer guys. I think worse, smell like reservist.

Today I saw newspaper got some MP who in charge of reservist welfare one (I think it is that 老处女 one) she say gahmen want to call soldier wife and family go his reservist in camp training. So maybe during the ICT, can let the wife and the children come and stay with their father in the camp!!!!

Chow chee bye! What is this Gahmen thinking?

Want to waste Singapore guys time not enough, now also want to waste his wife and his children time too?

The men morale not good, must call their wife come and sleep with them in the bunk is it? Scared they at night lonely and need to fuck, so during reservist also can do their "National Service" also ah?

Wa lao eh, what guy want their woman to come and see them during reservist?

The old virgin MP even say if children can see their daddy drive tank, so they will know how important is their father duty.

Fuck you understand!!!

I think the children will see their father most of the time sleep in the bunk, read newspaper, and go canteen break. Even those reservist got exercise one also dowan let their family see their father pang sai in the grass, and whole body sweat and mud, look like shit, smell like shit.

And if I got children, I also dowan them come to the camp see me drive tank. Wait got some reservist blur fuck accidently shoot live round from the MG on the tank or parking the tank reverse too fast langga people how? Army most dangerous weapon is not tank not gun, is the blur fuck with the tank and the gun, understand?

Somemore if the wife and family all come and stay, how is the men going to go Geylang to chiong? Reservist is the best time to go and chiong together with your army friend. ICT is not In Camp Training, ok? ICT is Insert Cheebye Training!!!!

Thats why Army always give the men condom when go oversea exercise. You think give them condom for what? Blow balloon have birthday party issit? The SAF condom is so that the men go and fuck some Taiwan mei mei won't kena some disease on their lan cheow and bring back to Singapore pass to other people ok?

You want to improve the men reservist welfare? Don't need to call their family come to the camp. Just don't call them go for so many cheebye ICT!!!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Fuck the mosquito mother backside

Wa lao eh, so many days never write liao. Now then got strength.

Last week Tuesday when I take taxi to go back my car, I also a bit scared, dunno whether got Hell Parking Ticket or not (if kena dunno is pay with Hell money or not).

When I walk to my car, park near the old tree, I saw my car whole body cover with so many bird shits (KNNBCCB!!!!!) and I also saw two paper on the glass (KNNBCCB again!!!!!). My hand shake and I take the two paper.

The first one say Henry Lim say my car very nice and he want to buy my car for good price, call his handphone now.

Cheebye! I thought is what! So I throw away.

Then I look at the second one, which look like a parking summon. I thinking Die! Must be the hungry ghost "parking auntie" give me one. Why like this? I never do anything to her or say her bad things, but she still put this kind of dirty thing on my car! Why?

The paper is fold, so I open it......

Chow CHEE BYE!!!!!!

Its be worse than I thought! It is REAL summon!

Must be I leave the car here over night and then the real parking auntie come back and give me summon!!!

I see the bird shits and I see the summon, I feel like very angry.

Very very angry. Angry until I feel very hot. Like got fever like this.

Whole body hot. Hot until skin also red colour.

Angry until got bad headache want to faint.

Angry until want to vomit.

Wah I never angry until like this before, I thought, how come so hot so red so tired? And how come suddenly everything look so blur?

Then Raymond call me and ask me I got go and get back my car or not, and I tell him yes got, and I also tell him I feel hot and my skin is red colour like kena sun burn like that. Then Raymond shout at me "Aiya cheebye lah! You got the deng gew fever lah! You kena bite by the Aids mosquito!"

I hear Aids mosquito I panic. Got such mosquito one? Is it a gay mosquito? (Gahmen always like to say Aids is the gay disease) And what is deng gew fever? Why get this fever must say deng gew?

At first I got the fever, I just bo hiew, still go to work, dowan to tio kan. But then by the afternoon, I cannot tahan liao, so I go to the hospital A and E to check in.

Nabei the hospital so fucking busy. A lot of people sick like this. I saw many Bangra worker also. Must be their cheebye employer never take care them, put them 20, 30 people inside one small room. One guy kena sick, all kena sick.

I wait and wait and wait. Gahmen say Singapore hospital is world class service very good. Even Lao Lee wife sick in England also fly back here see the Singapore hospital.

Good my backside lah. Must be because my name is RTT, not LKY, I have wait for 5 hours then they test me, then say I got dengue fever (stupid Raymond, bluff me say what Aids mosquito and what deng gew fever, I read the hospital brochure it is the cheebye Aedes mosquito and it is dengue fever lah).

Fuck the mosquito mother backside.

After I get the dengue fever, then the newspaper say Singapore got serious dengue problem. Cheebye now then tell me. If I know earlier, I sure spray the mosquito spray in my house a few more time, and then throw away all the dirty water.

Raymond say must be that day you saw the parking auntie ghost then thats why kena fever. I say lan cheow lah, dengue fever is cause by mosquito not by parking auntie. But just in case, I bath with the flower water and also tell Raymond help me wash my car with the flower water (and first use soap wash the nabei bird shits).

Must be that night I never bring my key back and have to sleep in the void deck then kena the cheebye mosquito bite me.

I already MC for 7 or 8 days liao, today then the fever stop, and I am a bit worried my job. Wait they find excuse make me like Ah Seng like this, no job.

This sialan company like to see people work late late, even though the fucker who stay back is wayang only (I heard Gahmen say wayang no need licence, hahahahaha!!!). And those people who is sick take MC they will fuck upside down. Cheebye no heart company. Bluff sick also fuck, real sick also fuck. Worker is not human one, worker is just robot to them.

I stay in the hospital a few days, in the no aircon ward. What to do, want to save money and use more Medisave (this Medisave money is the Gahmen keep for your coffin until you die one, if don't use then leave in CPF for fuck?). No aircon never mind, but wa lao eh, some of the missy nurse is quite ugly one. Maybe all the chio one is in the A star ward. We all C ward kena the fat ugly nurse, the lao auntie nurse and the most worse one, the man nurse. Nabei not like those XXX show the nurse is all sexy neh neh big big and always want to fuck the patient one.

Every time the man nurse come, I scared he will take me go and bath. My horse is only give girl to play one, not give man to bath one.

At night sometime got one fat ugly missy come to my bed to take my temperature.

When she take my blood for test, she will say wah your muscle very big hor?

She also help me to put the drip, and she laugh heeheehee when she say sorry I poke you ah?

And when I want to go the toilet to pang jio and I need help because of the drip, dunno why she is always the one come and help me pass urine. I see her already I sibei hard to pee.

I think she like me, because she talk to me a lot, and I see her eyes keep looking my horse there. I very scared, wait she rape me and I got the fever and no strength to push her away how? Then I will lao bak sai, like those Taiwan show virgin.

I read so many newspaper because stay in hospital got nothing to do (hospital cannot bring dirty magazine one or else the patient see neh neh cheebye already maybe will get heart attack and die cock stand hahahahaha!!!).

Last few day the newspaper got a lot of news about Small Lee and his National Day speech. Keep saying he cry because he remember 1968 the national day parade kena rain and nobody run away, means those Singaporean very strong and proud of our country.

Cheebye lah. a little bit of rain only call hero ah? Kena rain will melt ah? Fuck lah I do NS that time everyday rain also march in the parade square, how come no prime minister cry for me? Also who dare to run away from the fucking rain in last time NS? The Encik will sent you go DB fuck backside and kena charge. So we got fucking FLOOD also march, man.

And last time 1968 those people who watch the national day parade is those come very far to see the one year one time free show parade, so what is rain, man? And those marching soldier who will dare to run from the rain? The 1968 Encik is even more fierce than my NS time Encik, you dare to run from the rain? He cut off your lan cheow, man.

Last time 1968 cut your men lan cheow in NS is won't get charged one.

Last time 1968 cut your men lan cheow in NS maybe even get medal say you are the best Encik of the whole Singapore army.

And if the 1968 Encik don't cut your lan cheow for running in the rain, Lao Lee will cut your lan cheow for you, plus cut your Encik one too.

I also read got some people go and put 8 white paper elephant near Buangcock MRT station (the one they build already never open because Gahmen say not enough people live there, nabei not enough people live there then build for fuck?). They want to let the minister know they buay song. Singaporean nowadays so daring, dare to like this protest.

Wah, so if more than 4 people get together at CPF building is consider no licence protest, then 8 paper elephant is consider what? Maybe have to be 4 elephant then can call public nonsense?

Lucky when the minister come it never rain, or else the white paper elephants maybe will run away, then make PM cry again.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Went to Month of Hungry Ghost Festival auction

Last night, Ah Seng invited me to go for the Hungry Ghost auction. I long time never go for one already. He was there as helper. Better than having no job and nothing to do. He every year also got help do this thing anyway.

Computer Boy Lawrence (CB Lawrence hahaha!!) went to Batam with his friends for a fucking weekend. These few days he quite sian, so need to find some way to forget his problem. He told me his company a lot of his old friend left or kena retrench already, especially the Singaporean. Below him all the junior is now from India and on top of him, all the senior is ang moh. He said, I feel like a Singapore hamburger, kena fuck by overseas ah neh in the backside, and kena suck ang moh cock in front. Soon even me also will have no job, kena replace by cheaper PRC, KNNBCCB, he said.

So he said he at work already kena fuck, so might as well go and find girl to fuck on weekend. I hope he got bring his safety belt. Actually I already told Lawrence Seventh Month don't go oversea. Swimming and going oversea is not good idea during the Hungry Ghost month. Not say I pan tang, but better to don't try your luck. You see the Kallang river, every year swallow people. And I heard also got people die in Australia this year. Hungry Ghost month don't fucking play play.

I didn't know he so sian at work. I thought computer line quite ok one. But Lawrence said nowadays what fucking line also not good, except working as gahmen. Last time another good line was NKF charity line, but even that one also now not good job liao, and NKF not only kena whole world condemn them, but I heard now got CAD (the office worker police) play their backside.

Lawrence said he got two choice. Upgrade himself or do illegal pirate business. Go Malaysia get the computer cd cheap cheap, come here and sell. But he saw the three fella kena caught for pirating song so he a bit scared. Like the police don't have murderer or robber to catch, now very free catch the download song people. What the fuck man.

He want to migrate but he said a few of his friends go oversea, same problem, no job. There worse, here in Singapore the ang moh is king, there in other country the ang moh is king and citizen, and they not like Singapore, they give chance to their citizen first.

So I sit at my table with Raymond (I drive him here one), just watching the whole thing. The auction guy can really talk, man. Lai ah lai ah, $888 Fatt fatt fatt ah!!!

What thing also he can sell. The thing all look like cheap thing, but people still bid high high. Got gold got frog got charcoal. All is got good luck type. Cheebye man, if I got money I also buy, who don't need good luck in life, right?

But this year like quieter. People don't bid so high like last time. Not as many getai, auction or wayang. The cheebye president election wayang (dong dong chiang!!!) is not counted, ok, hahahaha!!!

Must be economy is like shit. I dunno how the gahmen can count the growth and say what 4% or 5%. The only thing I see growing is my lan cheow and the price of everything.

Where got 5%? Got!

GST is 5% lor, cheebye! You see the car COE you already know. Low until cannot low. And the Hungry Ghost festival getai and show is all smaller.

Raymond said to me, you know why this year got less auction? Because this year NKF not involve! They too busy let CAD play their kar chng hahaha!!!

Around the auction place is the HDB car park. Many of the car that is park there tonight is the people who come for the auction show one. I can see around 9pm onwards, got some car look like the driver live here one, trying to find their parking lot but all full house. Round and round cannot find. Must be damn toolan for them, pui chow nua. I also no choice, I park until quite far away, the car park is next to some grass land and a big old tree, and the street light not working, a bit dark dark.

A lot of us who park there never put coupon. Because Sunday free, no need to pay. After 10pm then is season parking only. Somemore later if the auntie come we can see and run to our car to drive away.

The place got a lot of smoke. Dunno is it because they burning the joss stick and hell money paper, or is it the Indonesia that side the fire send us the haze.

Nabei, every chow chee bye year the Indonesia side burn the tree, because it is cheap way of make the land good for farming. Every chow chee bye year the Indonesia gahmen act blur, because the Malaysia and Indonesia fucker businessman bribe them to act blur. In the end every chow chee bye year the whole KL and Singapore sky all kena this haze, make people sick, and make me cannot go KL to chiong. Fuck their mothercheebye for this chow chee bye burning. Should lock this dirty businessman inside one house and let them smell their own smoke until they die. Cheebye.

My table also got a few other people. One of them is a hawker, his name is Tua Tow, because his head very big. He say his name is David. I was thinking sound like that singer David Tao, but this one is David the Tua Tow hahahaha!!!

Tua Tow mother was a famous hawker.

We were complaining about how come thing in Singapore getting more and more expensive and harder and harder to survive.

I said to Tua Tow, eh, nowadays the hawker and coffee shop food also getting more expensive liao, cannot even find the $1.50 or $2 price anymore. Why liddat?

He said bo pian. Want to charge less also cannot. Last time my mother is the hawker, the market stall rental is less than $700 one month, Tua Tow said. Now the market kena upgrade to nice nice by Gahmen, the rental go up also. KNNCCB, he said, how to survive? My mother die that time, the Gahmen offer me because I am the son to take over the place, but the rental jump until $2000 plus almost $3000. I don't make the price of my food more expensive, I cannot continue do this line.

Tua Tow said, you just wait lor. Next time no more cheap market food liao. When all the old hawker die, the CCB gahmen will up the rent and your char kuay teow will not be $2 liao.

The auction show run until very late. 11pm still the fella shouting into the microphone $128! $388! $888!!!

Suddenly got one guy shout, Nabei! Auntie lai liao!!!!

This mean the parking auntie come and check, so we all get up and run like siao lang to our car to drive away before they can summon us and give us ang pow. Wa lao eh, the new parking aunties who is private company one now is so fucking on the ball, must be their commission is better.

The two parking auntie that come still is booking the cars in front, so I think good, haven't reach me yet. My baobei car is park inside quite far. But very funny, I walk like walk very long time and never reach my car. Dunno how come. I remember I walk from my car to the auction show that time, feels like only 3 minute. Now the parking auntie come, and I try to go my car, is like more than 15 minute walk.

After a long long time, I can see my car liao. Park next to the broken lamp post, at the grassland there. Cheebye! I saw one auntie standing there going to give me ticket. How I know they send so many auntie come and book people?

I don't understand how come, but this auntie the uniform is not the same as the auntie I saw just now. This auntie is like wearing old parking auntie uniform, not the new private company uniform one. I cannot see her face, maybe because quite dark and I standing a few cars away.

Then I also saw she not using those mini computer to print my ticket, but using the old paper and pen style. I didn't know they still using this kind of parking ticket leh.

I want to go and talk to her and ask to give chance one, but I think nowadays they don't give chance one, somemore she already write her ticket. Aiyah let her book lah. KNNBCCB. So I turn to walk back to join my friends.

When I walking away, I suddenly smell the franjeepenny flower smell and also like heard my name kena call. Rockson... Rockson...

I thought maybe is the wind or Ah Seng is calling me (but cannot be, is a woman voice leh). Anyway I walk back to the auction show. The walk also seem like long time, like 15 minutes like that. Walk walk walk. Like neverending.

When I reach back, Raymond saw me and said wah so fast come back ah?

I look at him and said No what, I go quite long what, dunno why the walk like so far. And somemore KNN kena orh gong by the parking auntie wearing the old uniform one and using old style paper summon.

Raymond look at me funny and said, you kena summon meh?

Ya! Fuck man, I said.

Raymond look at me funny again and said, cannot be what. The two auntie just now came until the first few car, then we all run out that time, they stand there a while, and then go away liao. The two of them never walk to your car that side, you know? So how can you kena summon?

Got kena! I said. Must be a third auntie her minah friend lah!

Raymond said eh, you must be seeing things lah. This car park only got one way in, and we all only saw two auntie come and then go, never go your side. Don't have third auntie lah! And where got auntie now use paper summon one!

I look at him, he look at me.

Want to take taxi? I ask him.

Ya, your car tomorrow morning then come and get lah, Raymond said.

I also say.

So we tell Ah Seng bye bye, and tell Tua Tow good luck his food stall business, and walk very fast to the main road to call taxi.

When I reach home that time, is already about 11.45pm. I walk past my neighbour house and heard their tv got Channel News Asia talking about Small Lee's National Day speech. Must be that time I was at the auction they show the speech one. Never mind, next few days sure got fucking repeat and repeat and repeat.

Then I reach my door.

Then I say KNNBCCB.

I left my house key inside my car.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Fuck man, no more President election holiday

This few day work damn busy. Pak chew cheng also no time, don't say blog. I so tired until I hold my horse pak half way and koon.

I still very toolan about the President election kena cancel. Fuck lah, Singapore is so hard to get one lan cheow holiday, but because only got one man kena the Certificate of Egibity to run for election, then he is become the automatic winner. No holiday liao KNN.

Of course our old president can get approve for the president COE lah. The Selecting President Society read his report card and see "Last job: President of Singapore, 6 Years", confirm to give him what!!!

Unless this old president employer come out and say, Nabei! last time hor, when he is president that time, we is his boss and cheebye lah, we already told him he fucked up and not performing the A star grade, so we give him chance. Then because we is kind boss, we give chance for one year, two year, three year, four year, five year, and even six year, in the end we give him the last final really really no give chance warning liao and say he must resign or else we very stress have to find some more chance to give.

But this never happen lah (Singapore president where got one more boss upstairs one?). So our president pass lor. Some more he do quite good job, so never kena complain.

But a lot of people still not happy, they say this is not election! This is call selection! We never fucking get to choose! We want to have four man protest!!! The Singapore people shout Cheebye and sibei toolan got no election!!!

In the newspaper, "Cheebye and sibei toolan got no election!!!" become write in English as "Yay Singaporean very the happy no need to choose president!!!". Maybe the newspaper hokkien not so good, never translate properly.

Last night Raymond tell me when we are drinking at the lounge, actually, Singapore president got elect by Singapore people what!

I said, cheebye lah where got?

Raymond said, Got! Three people elect lor. Hahahahahaha!!!!!

That fucker Raymond always make this kind of stupid joke.

Then Raymond said, You should thank the Gahmen, they call this three clever people to help you choose the president, so you don't have to use your brain, waste your energy go and vote. Then you can use your brain to choose what food you want to eat for lunch, what drink you want to drink in the pub, and what PRC mei mei you want to fuck in Geylang, no need to waste on choosing president. Hahahahaha!!!!

I want to throw my beer at his laughing cheebye face already and then he said, anyway, actually the President is really choose by us. Really.

I dowan to waste my beer, so I drink it and say why you say that?

Raymond said, See ah, ok, who choose the president one?

I said, Selecting President Society!

Then Raymond said, Who choose the Selecting President Society one?

I said, Gahmen lah, cheebye!

Then Raymond said, Who choose the Gahmen one?

I look at him and stone for a while.

Then Raymond laugh and said, Ahhhhhhh, we fuckers lor. So we elected the President lah! Hahahahaha!!!!

I want to punch his arm liao but I forgot because behind him got one chio bu walk pass, wearing the front low low top, low until can see two half of her goodies and almost see her stomach liao. People is V neck, she is U neck, hahahahahaha!!! See already my horse sedia. And I later go to toilet to pee also damn toolan, keep shooting the wall and the sky. We are like this, see goodies liao will steam damn fast and forget our angry even faster.

Actually talk about steam, Singapore becoming president standard is also very steam. Must be superman gahmen department boss for three years or $100 million company CEO. Wa lao eh, where to find?

Actually, I got know one guy Ah Heng who can pass the Selecting President Society exam. He is boss of a secret society (no number one, because real gang don't have number) and his gang make million billion dollars every year selling pirated DVD and pc program and as loanshark.

He also CEO, ok? And every year his gang make money, never lose. Our country CPF money let him look after he sure take it and make into golden egg for us.

But he wear singlet and slipper everywhere, so don't looks so high class. Also I think his whole body the tattoo everywhere is look a bit scary. Fuck man, his fingernail and eyelid also got tattoo. Somemore his temper no good and he always scold people lan cheow and fuck your mothercheebye and KNNBCCB.

If Ah Heng do the National Day parade, he have to wear long sleeve shirt to cover his tattoo or people will scared.

When the commander ask him Sir! Permission to start the parade sir!

President Ah Heng will sure say Pua Chee Bye! Don't be so blur fuck! KNN want to start the parade then start lah! Every cheebye thing also must ask me first ah! Limpei President Ah Heng is your mother issit?

But Ah Heng cannot be president one. He is $100 million dollar company CEO but he fail the last part of the exam. The exam say the president must have good character and got nobody fuck him.

Fuck lah, this kind of thing how to pass? Want to find your bad things very easy ok? Your cheebye mother in law say you useless fucker son in law can also consider not good character what.

I think we need to start a president school. Singapore country very small, so must start early find those got president standard kind of student.

Raymond and me will start a president school to teach you important things......
-how to kiss babies
-how to conduct national day parade
-how to do charity
-don't anyhow ask question about Singapore Gahmen money
-how to meet the president of other country (who also not standard enough to be our president)

I think when you compare, other country president is all no standard. Like USA one. Got one cowboy actor. Got one chee koh pek like to get blowjob by his own office girl. Got one stupid cowboy rich man son. All fucked up. Maybe that's why their pay less than our president.

I think I dowan to be president now, just be gahmen department boss or gahmen company boss can already. Every year can be fucked up but will get chance, and still get my big bonus and get report card say well done good job. As long as don't try to be president without gahmen permission, I no need to scared no job.

I can be CFO, Chief Fucking Officer! Hahahahahaha!!!!