Wednesday, June 29, 2005

你不會懂得我傷悲 (You won't understand my sadness)

blinkymummy wrote me a letter on her blog. I copy for you to read. Life is very hard, want to keep a blog fren also difficult.

She think I have girlfriend, or that I scared of her candidness (I check the dictionary, it means like talk very straight), or that I am Cowboy Caleb (hahahahahahah!!!). But she is wrong.

I have girlfriendssss, I like girl who talk like the candid camera, and Cowboy Caleb have many nice pirate mp3 songs but he is not Rockson Takumi Tan. I don't even think he know Chinese or Hokkien, because his English is the Ang Moh Eat Potatoe kind. Actually, I think I know who Cowboy Caleb is. I need to check somemore first, then I will share with you my Cowboy theory next time.

Anyway this is blinky letter to me:

Dear Rockson,

I read your entry. It is a not-so-subtle way of rejecting my attention. I think I can understand why.

I seriously think it's neither about your previous unhappy experience with a 'cloth badge', nor class difference. The real reason is either (1) you have a girlfriend, or (2) my candidness has worried the shite out of you, (3) you are actually Cowboy Caleb, or all of the above.

Whatever it is, I can agree with you on one important point. You are really not an Ah Beng. You are just 'chor'. Real Ah Bengs mean what they say. 敢做敢为, 说得出做得到. Real Ah Bengs will not opine that smoking and wearing beach shorts are characteristics of 坏女人.

It was good while it lasted. (Err... less than 1 week.) 长痛不如短痛. I am sorry I have to remove you from My Ah Bengs. This is the only way I know how to deal with it. Hope you can understand. Thanks for the memories and dream.

Yours miserably,

This is my life. My heart broken again. Always like that. That is why Andy Lau's song is always playing in my heart (he is my favourite Heavenly Sky King):



Cloth badge Convent girls, they are so good at English and Chinese, and at breaking guy heart.....

(See the new photo style? Lawrence my computer expert friend say Blogger can now use put photos and make the words go around the photo like newspaper like that! Fucking good, man!)

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Going Sentosa Summer of Love party

Last week Sat 18 June, Lawrence and his friend ask me to go Sentosa at night to party at KM8 (call some stupid name like Summer of Love party, Singapore where got fucking summer?).

At first I tell him siao lah, at night go Sentosa feed the cheebye mosquito only. Wait get dengue. Even in day time, Sentosa is that kind of place only the ter-gong tourist don't know any better go and visit one (or their stupid Singapore friend no other idea bring them there).

Day time also nothing there, night time go for fuck?

But he tell me that now Sentosa quite happening, got a lot of party and got a lot of chio bu in swimsuit, even at night.

Dunno whether true or not. Last time I check, Sentosa only got one party. That one is gay one. Now gahmen say cannot liao, Aids is by the gay (sure or not?). So the gay go to Phuket to party and fuck each other backside and give each other Aids (according to gahmen). I hope is not this kind of party. I only like to fuck girl, not man. Maybe Lawrence saw the wear bikini ones is a man?

So, I take taxi to Sentosa, but I was a bit scared, because last time I went to Sentosa was by taking the cable car.

I never go by the bridge before. When the taxi cross into Sentosa already, I was a bit more scared, because I think maybe that fucker Lawrence sabo me by bluffing me. Skarlee make me go there, then they close the bridge and Rockson kena stucked on Sentosa ownself ba long long. Lucky I start to see many chio bu and ah beng wearing beach cloths walking along the road. And the chio bu don't look like man. That means really got party, the normal kind. Heng ah.

When I reach the party place, the line very long, lucky I call Lawrence and he come out and bargain with the bouncer to let me in. I think the bouncer see me also scared, thats why. Hahahaha!!! He lucky I never show him my tattoos (my kind have to take off pants to see one), or else he see already will quit his bouncer job, become insurance salesman.

I go inside, and see a lot of people all wear shorts and bikini. Some damn chio. But got some girls totally cannot make it, but still wear bikini. This kind of fucked up standard face and body still wear bikini. Please lah, guy like to see the neh neh bounce in the bikini when the girl jump and dance. Don't want to see the thighs and the stomoch also bounce, ok? This kind of bounce see already will vomit. Woman got a bit of hamburger on the waist is good, but guy don't want Big Mac.

Those chio one, I beoh a long time, and I can see they also beoh me back. These girls, drink a bit only all become very hiong. Must be at home their mother father control them so much, then they come out to party already, become Sex in the City. I go out with this kind before. Talk very hiong, then when see my horse (hahahaha!!!) and I chute my pattern in bed, suddenly these chio bu scared.

All this Sex in the City girl is bluff one, action only. Actually, the quiet girls is more hiong in real life.

Then I see the chao shortfuck playboy Miyagi at the party! He no need to work is it? Every day party here party there. Can see from his blog, he like to bluff young girl heart and steal their sex.

This guy must be very chee hong. He stand around with a very beautiful woman who is a lot taller than him. One look can see that he like her a lot. I think maybe she like him also because every few minute she hold his hand. But when she talk to her friends (one of them look like those Sex in the City kind), he go and beoh other women. I confirm Miyagi is a chao chee hong.

After I finish my beer I go look for the toilet. My horse may be big, but my bladder is not. The line also very long, and when I go inside the toilet, got woman inside also! Very hiong, this Sentosa party girls! Guy toilet also dare to use. (Or is it they are not girls? wah lao eh, now think already cock shrink, man, but cannot be, they all go Phuket already.)

I wait until they go outside before I pang jio, because I scared they see my horse will faint! Hahahahahahaha!!! Rockson very considerate one. Lan cheow never anyhow swing around! hahahahahaha!!!!

After that, I feel like going home because the party also not very fun. So what if got bikini girl? See so many already also sian. And bikini girls no matter how chio is no fun when she drink too much and vomit in the sand. Girls who is drunk give bad sex and they smell bad. How chio also no use.

The Sentosa music also not so nice, cannot sing along type. Whole night also line up here line up there. So I walk out and take taxi home. Next time got Sentosa party I also don't want to go already.

Before my taxi reach the bridge (it was still open, heng ah), I saw the big merlion, mouth open, water coming out. Dunno who come up this kind of fucked up tourist statue idea. Singapore is the Lion City! not the Merlion City!!!

Actually, looking at the Merlion, it remind me of the bikini girls who vomit at the party.

Face white, hair long long, head inside empty, and mouth open all the stomach juice come out.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Is Singapore newspaper ready to see my horse?

I suddenly got idea.

If the sarong girl show her neh neh on her blog can become so famous so fast, maybe if I post a picture of my horse on my blog I will also become famous? Maybe can get deal on Jack Neo jteam?

"Naked Singapore blogger show his lan cheow!"

Wait, newspaper cannot use word like lan cheow. I change.

"Naked Singapore Blogger show his penis!"

Hahahahaha!!!! Better not lah. Wait guys see already they will feel small, and their woman see already they want to break up.

Also if I want to famous, also won't be using Jteam. That Jack Neo only got one movie good, Money No Enough. The rest of his movie all damn condemn.

Anyway, J stand for what? Jialat ah?

Singapore is not ready for my horse.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

女人的心 (A Woman Heart)

I found out from one of my reader that blinkymummy was very upset I never talk about her and only blog about another blogger's neh neh story.

I read her blog a bit more (I usually like to look at the pictures), and wah lao eh, she write about me, even dream of me!!!

And now she is angry, and she pui, and she wants to remove my blog from her links! I didn't even know she got my link but now I saw it, under REAL BENG (eh, I not Beng what, I just a bit chor lor only mah).

I hope she is not too angry. Of course Rockson still thinks she is the chio. That sarong girl blog is only just passing look only. Who don't like to see girl neh neh right? Don't like to see means not a real man, ok?

Anyway, I saw this picture on blinky's blog, and wah lao eh! I am quite impressed lor! Blinky wear short shorts, smoke a hoon kee! Like a 坏女人 like that! Rockson 喜欢!!! (actually her friend also quite chio, the wear spectacles but chio type)

(Lawrence teach me to write the Chinese in my blog, but fuck lah, take damn long, man.)

But in the end, I can only admire blinkymummy from her blog. Convent girl like her and rough guy like me cannot together one. Her fren look like all the high class type while my fren is all the rough type.

I once saw a movie, one of those musical, Lawrence ask me to watch, call West Side Road Story (I think that is the name). The guy is from the gang, and the girl is those higher class one, their relationship cannot work. In the end, the guy even die!!!

I can understand how the movie lovers feel. Cannot work one. I try before.

Long ago, at a tea dance, I met this cloth badge Convent girl. We love each other very much. But her family is rich, her frens are rich, and she was from a SAP school (that is why we can talk about Chinese things and sing Chinese songs together).

But the girl mother don't let her go stead with me, she say no daughter of hers will end up with a paikia like this boy. Even her frens say, why you go out with 这种人?

It is a long and painful story. Maybe next time I will write about it.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Singapore blogger show her neh neh

Fuck, I am always late for this kind of thing. I was reading the Wanbao for my usual 4D results and bo liao stories (their sex news damn good), and I saw this story about a Singapore sex blogger call Sarong Party Girl who show her neh neh on her blog.

(I steal this photo of the Wanbao from Xiaxue's blog. I didn't know Xiaxue is call Chloe also. I thought she call Wendy. So nice the name, Chloe Cheng Xia Xue.)

So I rushed to the sarong blog to see what is it about, and then fuck lah, nothing. No picture of anything, not even her wearing clothes. She say her bandwidth exceeded (Lawrence say it means a lot of chee ko pek and kaypohs go her blog until her server computer spoiled). Too bad.

I look around her blog, wah lao eh, she write so many words. Go her blog like studying for exam like that. Have one fuck can write so many essay, meh? Maybe woman is like this.

But I read a bit here and there and I think she likes to fuck Angmoh man because she say their lan cheow bigger than Asian man. Angmoh dua kee is it?

I don't know what kind of Asian man she talking about that is small lan cheow, but my horse even got Angmoh woman say she see already she scared.

But if this sarong girl want to fuck Angmoh man and write long story about it, write lor. All the woman I ever fuck all I fuck until they got nothing to say or write, no more breath. They only say, "AGAIN!" Hahahahaha!!!

I also don't know why the newspapers all write about this. Singapore no more news to write is it? Maybe because Singapore newspapers cannot fuck the gahmen, so they have to print this kind of no-story news about a Singapore blogger neh neh.

Lawrence show me her photo in his computer (he got many this kind of photo, that fucker) and tell me the English papers also write about her. Cheebye lah! Chey! I see her photo on Lawrence PC and I was surprise. Like two mosquito bites only and the whole Singapore become so excited!!!

Japan website got so many nicer and bigger neh neh, like Saori Nanami and Ryoko Mitake. Why the newspaper never write those? Maybe these Japan girl don't have blog, that's why.

Some more the sarong girl photo is all like those boring art photo. Don't have photo of her open her legs wide wide, showing her down there, don't even have those Japanese square square cover her down there. This is art photo only what.

Waste my time. One sarong girl neh neh so many news. If Chloe Cheng Xia Xue take naked photo with this sarong girl together maybe will be more interesting. But then the Chloe Cheng look like her neh neh also not so big, maybe need to ask Lawrence help her to photoshop bigger. Hahahaha!!!

Singaporeans need to see more XXX shows and have more sex, then this kind of thing won't be so fucking big deal.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

blinkymummy sibei yummy

I just read the Tomorrow site and there got this new blog babe call blinkymummy. She say she like Ah Beng!!!! Like that got chance man!

I go her blog and see all the photos (Lawrence help me link to her picture put here), wah lau!!! She fucking chio leh! She even got one photo she wear school uniform to chiong!!! Only fucked-up thing is she take so many pictures with that Mr Miyagi. Why she waste her time with that shortfuck playboy? Miyagi so old already still want to act cute and cow the young girls. Not shy, man.

I see blinkymummy in uniform already I nosebleed, man. I remember the old days I am in school, always cow the rich girls from that school. They look so innocent, actually inside damn havoc, like to date we paikia. Got one time this convent girl I was with, we do many many hiong things in the stair case of her school after the students and teachers all go home. The convent uniform belt take out already very convenient to play underneath, you know? Many good memories, hahahaha!!!

I read this blinkymummy blog, look like she was going to get married, then break up with her boyfriend who she was going out for two years. Wedding shoe also buy already. Why like that?

This girl look so chio, and her blog write so well (I think she got Master degree), and like to chiong Zouk, why her ex-stead let her go for fuck? Is he stupid or what? The ex is studying a Phd, so cannot be so stupid, right? But he cannot even buy her a ring properly.

Then I saw somewhere he even want to sue her for writing about him in her blog. WTF!!! This kind of cheebye thing he also can say to a girl??!! He so Phd, go and write his own blog lah! My English so fucked up standard also can write a blog, this Phd cannot, must complain his ex write blog? Lan cheow ok!

Maybe I should go this Hideout place more often, instead of always go kbox and sing, see can make friends with her. Her Chinese is good too, so we can sing karaoke together. She can use my microphone!!! Hahaha!!

Girls who just break up very good in bed one. I experience a many times before, next day I must take MC type. In English is called rebound sex, Lawrence tell me. She want to be angry and use my body to let go all her feelings, my horse will be happy to help her, hahahahaha!!!!

Monday, June 06, 2005

FHM party at Zouk

I was reading my favourite Sammyboy forum, and there got one guy, FANofFHM , he say he went to the recent FHM party in Zouk. He said:

"FHM party was wonderful man. Lots of pretty people around. The lady from "An eye of a guy2" Denise Keller was there wearing arr... bra-less man, can see her nuts, make my eye pop man.

I'm the privilege to be there, free drinks and rub shoulders!"

I also wish I'm the privilege to go there, man. Must have a lot of chio bu.

But I don't understand what he mean by he see Denise Keller there bra-less, can see her nuts. I thought nuts is guy's lampah?

So that means he saw Denise Keller never wear bra, and saw her lampah?

No wonder his eye pop, man.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Music Baton (like run relay like that)

Wah, Triple Period, the man with three period, pass me a music blog baton (baton is like stick). So nice of him!!! I see whether I can answer all the question on music.

I like music a lot.

Total volume of music files on my computer:

Many mega and giga bites. Most of them I download from Cowboy Caleb's illegal pirate blog. Thanks Cowboy!

The last CD I bought was:

Andy Lau latest album (JB pasar malam stall buy one)

Song playing right now:

Hua Hee Dio Ho (Happy can already) - my friend singing this Hokkien song with my karaoke

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me (actually I give 6, because I like many songs):

1. Ai Pia Jia Eh Yia (Must Fight Then Can Win) - Unknown. The greatest Hokkien song in the world!!!

2. Gei Wo Yi Bei Wang Qing Sui (Give Me A Glass of Mineral Water) - Andy Lau (my favourite Heavenly King)

3. All That She Wants - Ace of Base. The bass very good.

4. Chai Koff Skee 1812 song - Chai Koff Skee (he was Russian classical music composer, forgot how to spell his name liao). I like it because the cannons damn solid.

5. Pang Yao (Peng You) - Alan Tham (Cantonese singer). The words very meaningful. I saw one English translation on the Internet. One verse go (Lawrence teach me put italics):

Life is just like a dream
Friends are just like the morning dew
It is hard to come by a bosom friend
After so many hardships
The one still standing by me you

6. Jeek Kee Sio Ho Sua (A Little Umbrella) - Liu Ling Ling (famous Hokkien singer)

I try to do a English translation of this Hokkien love song for you:

Two of us
Together underneath a small umbrella (small umbrella)
I take care of you
Then you take care of me

Five people to whom I’m passing the baton:

All the people I want to pass to, they already got batoned. Like Cowboy Caleb and Feline. And I don't know any other blogger, so I pass back to Triple Period.