Tuesday, August 02, 2005

My first lup sup bar

The fucker Raymond just call say want to go lup sup bar again. The ones he choose never have nice looking girls one. Must be he find the cheap one. The geow fucker.

I remember the first one I went to in JB with my army buddies. We got long weekend so we happy like fuck can go out on Friday late late. The bar was somewhere near Taman Sentosa or something. Even Malaysia also got Sentosa. But their Sentosa don't have Merlion, the stupid vomiting lion fish.

When I reach the very dark lup sup bar, I kena push in by the bouncers who say come in, come in! our beer very cheap and we got mei nu. So I go inside, inside got a lot of curtains, turn here turn there, then come to one place got sofa and table and a tv. The Malaysia tv was showing Singapore show.

Finally the beer come, and I wait damn long, think maybe kena sabo, ba long long, then maybe will kena robbed.

Suddenly, got six or seven lau auntie come in wearing kimono and then sit between all the guys. They all laughing and giggle and try to act cute. Nabei Malaysia got Japanese mei nu who fucking believe?

And these old auntie also don't look like those Seiko or Akina kind of Japanese pop star girl. Look more like Seiko and Akina mother. Some even look like Seiko and Akina grandmother.

Then more worse thing happen.

The lau aunties take off their kimono and we can see their lau neh neh.

KNNBCCB!!!!

I nearly vomit out my beer man. Got some beer come out of my nose. The cheebye beer already taste like those add water kind (the bouncer say their beer cheap, now I know they mean the taste cheap). I see the auntie tng sar, I lagi feel like I want to report sick take MC from this bar.

I want to run away also cannot, because I shocked until frozen. My fingers grab the sofa cloth. Even my horse also shrink. But because it is so big, it also dunno where to hide.

The kan see lang pai kwa aunties put our hands on their neh neh, and serve us the beer-water and light our cigarettes and tap our ash. The whole time we no need to use our hands.

The lau aunties keep using our hands to rub their lau neh neh. I think they want us to feel sexy, but all I feel is their neh neh is a bit like the Chinese New Year orange leave too long outside the fridge kind of feeling.

So we finished the beer quickly, and we want to go already. The aunties ask us for xiao fei. Cheebye lah, this kind of fucked up standard also they dare to ask for tips.

But at this time the singapore $2 note just come out, and is red colour one. So we give them those. The lau aunties think it is the $10 note, so all very happy. Also it was a bit dark, and cannot see properly it is 2 not 10.

Only that bodoh Lawrence stupid, he really give $10 note and give more than one.

Outside the bar, he quite excited and asked us how much we spend on the tips. We said $4 each.

He said KNNBCCB!!! I gave them $40! Singapore dollar somemore!!!

The rest of the month he have to eat cookhouse, no money go canteen. Lawrence even last time also this kind of blur fuck. Dunno how he survive his NS man. Must be kena blanket a lot one, he this kind of blur sotong.

Now things so expensive, not like we army that time. No more cheap pooky.

$40 in Singapore nowadays can only buy two drink in a Singapore lup sup bar, I think. Just like our ministers, the lup sup bar girl salary also go up. And the girls nowadays in the lup sup bar more hiong, so I don't really like not go anymore. Got many overseas talent also. The bouncer sometimes say they have Eurasian girls, but is bluff people one, is actually Filipino auntie, and the Malaysia girls they say they have is really from China pei du mama.

Got two times I go with the cheebye chiongster Lawrence, one time in the lup sup bar, one time in the KTV. The same thing, the lau auntie make me touch her neneh, and plus she try to unzip my pants. Then she ask me why dowan.

I tell her, I want also my horse dowan.

112 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!!!!!
Damn i'm addicted to ur blog

jane said...

that really makes me laugh like hell. But are you sure u touched those?

xialanxue said...

no more politics bashing?

Chang said...

Tell You Rockson.
Go Geylang Lorong 7 There.
Go BS.
BS Is Bery Song.
There Got Chio Bu One. China Ones

Papa Gay said...

Dear Rockson

Come come to papa.. i promise to treat u better den those Seiko grandmother.

Luv
Papa Gay

sÞ¡ηηєє said...

Why never take ang pow? Since they look like grandma and felt like Chinese mandarin to u... rofl.. maybe say "Gong Xi Fa Cai" u get $4 in return!! hahahah good one Rockson :)

Deth said...

lockson

NS time can go JB meh?

u bluff who?

sun said...

1st grade china chio bu now high class liao always wnt to be bao by rich dirty old man .. then got gold house to hide inside mah...
2nd grade china a bit chio bu now be ma-ssage(dnt know how to spell) girls that type got curtains all over n called long men ke zhan type
3rd grade china not so chio bu will go out with married supervisor hoping for a stable life and kena chopped

Anonymous said...

I dun think he said he went during army leh.

He said he went with his army buddies.

Didn't he mention his fren, Lawrence, how he finish his NS ?

Aiyoh.

Anonymous said...

Deth...

Last time NSF can in and out of West Malaysia with a blue passport lah. Don't know don't come here and talk cock.

Anonymous said...

ehh why ns cannot go JB siaz? my jc frens who r in NS also everytime go 1...nth surprising mah. btw, i love reading ur blog! ur description of the lup sup bar is so wudi funny.

Anonymous said...

Deth...

Last time NSF can in and out of West Malaysia with a blue passport lah. Don't know don't come here and talk cock.

Anonymous said...

who say NS cannot go JB? wa lau i go in out many times with my 11B before loh during nights off.

Anonymous said...

hahaaaa... lol! i laugh untill i wanna peng! you very funny leh! wahh you also know who is seiko and akina uh? surprise... think you must be a lau-beng born sometime in early 1970s. i last time in sch oso like akina and seiko all my text book cover got checkers, akina, seiko posters. hahaa.... this is so hilarious reading yr blog. btw my jap name is oso akina :))

Ranting Rock said...

From this post, one can see that lockson's horse cannot perform under pressure and lockson keeps saying dowan! dowan!

shuddupfirst said...

maerhirhuiehauiehraiuehriuherui
what is BS?(changs comment)
maheiruheriuheiur
damn funny la you!! why u so la sap one ,like to go to this kinda plcess!

Anonymous said...

you're a very good story teller. you're definitely brilliant, street wise and clever. i hope they make a movie based on your blog. you're a genius! thank gawd for your sense of humor!

Bevin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brian said...

Wahahaha!!!! Chinese new year oranges...

Anonymous said...

are you from NGEE ANN??

yup, i like the way you tell a story while blogging. great efforts to weave the story and context together.

ps, you're starting to sound more intelligent and less ah beng already. must remember to be more ah bengz. and lan jiao not lan cheow ok?

Anonymous said...

ya lor ya lor i also say. rockster...you tok very intelligent. izzit u not really ah beng but a clever person pretend to be ah beng leh? even my tuition teecher say u can write stoli very well.

Mrs Ivana Rockson Tan said...

You're the man of my dreams!

Chink in NYC said...

I found one way to read your blog more enjoyable/funnier is to read it out loud! I chiao kao peng, until tears run down my eyes!

Thank-you you!

Rock on Rockson!

Anonymous said...

u guys are rite rockson is mark lee in disguise haha...

No more Malaysian bar, plz said...

I have beri bad experience with Malaysia bar too. My fuck idiot Poly classmates said it was cheap and good. Of course, I was idiot too. where got cheap and good. During poly time, after sat. lesson, play mahjong, then go for dinner, then go chiong. The winner will sponser taxi fares. Pretty good then. Singapore bar was relatively more expensive lor; so they suggested Malaysia bar.

The same things are you had described, old char bo and cheap beer. And worst of all, the place stink. I want to U turn when I first step in. But my cheebye classmates insisted to go in; and also I saw the bouncers looking at me - I do not dare not to go in. I am very timid lor.

Actually, I did not know that the char bo were so old until we were about to leave. Two char bo followed us out. They kept pesting us for sex. Under the moonlight and street light, I nearly fainted. I was lucky that I did not kiss the ugly one. The char bos in one that I went to (yes, only one, I never chiong Malaysia bar after that) were beri beri bad, just to give you an idea. You go to chinatown, pick anyone aunt, put on markup for her, and dress her. = the malaysia bar char bo. Somemore, got a few of them does not have nei nei one. They wore over size bras; and then when they removed it. you can tell that the bra can contain 5 more set of their nei nei.

Sigh, Rockson, I wanted to forget this bad experience. But you, yes YOU! Let me recall this bad bar experience. Well, we have the same encounter. I will send my contact to you privately and see if we can chiong together.

Thanks for blog anyway. For people who have not been to malaysia bar. please reconsider. Chiong unless your friend knows the mama san there, there are good char bo but the mama san reserves them for VIPs. so...

chang, BS is good. I second it.

Can somemore people send out more bars to chiong? Rockson? I have been to Australia to work for 1 years. back 6 months already. some of my friends got married; some got gf; some broke because of poor job market - so never chiong these days. I am still ok, I have still my Aussie dollars.

Ooh... Australian bar. The char bo-s are big and heavy. Rockson, maybe your horse can take it. But their nei nei is good. can bounce and are firm. They drink and talk alot. Very little touching. Most of them have very pretty eyes. So, a little touching and looking at their eyes are already very shiok liao. And, I did not see bouncers in the bar leh. Well, i am talking too much. gtg.

Verce said...

I still enjoy your comments on politics more. All these funny lupsup stories I can read over sammyboy. Wahahaha.

Danny Lim said...

Eeee, you blog so shiok man.Me also got big horse ok.One day we go out, I show you cool bar, plomise no lup sap! many many chiu bu

dingdongbell said...

Wah knn rockson everytime i read yr blog sure cheow ka pengz one sial. Ur realli a nonsense barbie. But ur damn fucking funny lohz! Keep posting man! Ur the MAN!

Anonymous said...

Cheebye Rockson - cannot read yr blog after makan leh otherwise lauff until stomach peng hor. I just got a heavy breakfast and now I veri jialat oredi hor. What a smart Beng you are. Rock on pls.

Hanson said...

Hmm, methinks ministers index their salaries to those lup sup bar girl salaries, hmmm....

Anonymous said...

i got bigger horse tha u la...KNNCCB

laba boy said...

seriously, this aunties are humans too, i do respect you when you bash up the gahmens, but in this case sympatise them ,im sure they don wan to work as a PR if they have a choice,if i were u,i'll jus give them money and leave

Wynx said...

Eh...Horse Master..Ur peng yew ..That Lawrence not too lan with u meh? U always say bad things about him leh...

Anyway, ur blog really boh beh chao!

the malay boy, Ahmad said...

Dear Rockson,

I really like ur blog...I din noe Hokkien words are soo colourful and beautiful. I am using those Hokkien words to my frens. I tink they like it...err...i guess?

Anonymous said...

To Ranting Rock
You cheebye don’t talk cock here. Our hero Rockson got taste mah not like you Chee Hong and never see Chee Bye before, see old kunt u olso want. KNNBCCB. Another thing yr lan cheow blog got no class lah, sibeh sian one. You write like Ah Kua. Heeheehe

Anonymous said...

This is a one-joke blog. Same old shit. How long can you pull the same old shit? A year? Two years? it's getting tiresome.

Mr.doodpar said...

wah.. so fast post liao... dammm addictive man..

Anonymous said...

Your lup sup bar brings back fond memories..... The mamasan at the Beijing joint flipped up her skirt to show that with her girls, access is unlimited. When it was time to pay the xia fei, I asked my CNOOC friend what's the current rate - he said a hundred. As I peeled off US$10 bills to the screaming delight of the nubile lasses, he stopped me - he meant renminbi. Now you know why lotsa guys go to China for business.

kua-simi-LJ said...

Rockson u tis cheebye..fucking funny..reminds me of my lup sup experience...1 recommendation go kai xuan men at balestier point..shiok wif young char bohz and u can suck their neh neh until u cry for help!!

little boy said...

Why suck neh neh, need to cry for help?

kua-simi-lanjiao said...

little boy

go suck many neh nehs for many hours see how u feel..u little dick

Xiaxue toa ka chng said...

wa lan!!like tat next time dun go JB lup sup bar liaoz lah.. the aunties strip naked also canot mari kita still must give tips..wah pian..understand yr mental torture by them..puiz chao nua

Jared said...

aiyoyo.

you must know where to go la.

Anonymous said...

power~~!!!

Anonymous said...

rockson are you married or got gf? can i be your lover or you be my lover? i think i'm in love with you leh....

Anonymous said...

fuck u lah laba boy, if u really pity these aunties, don even visit tis kind of place lah. cos got ppl like u making they think got demand so they supply mah. don come here tok cock lah. also wonder got lap sup bar 4 char bo anot. Hahahaha……

Anonymous said...

SO is Lawerence's horse as big as yours???

ron said...

Even my boss loves u.. hahaha

Btw.. did u check Fu Rong jie jie out? Think she'll like ur horse..

million dollar mini-turds said...

yo rocky tan!

27 Aug prata election leh! Do a blog on it hor...

hehehe

fleng said...

nabey this one better than bashing politic, why must blogger left right center bash politic, so common, so bland, so boring , rather hear rockson tok cok bout lup sup bar. Btw i went this KL KTV, much much cheaper than in JB.. the girl thai, young young.. nice.. their english like fuck.. but they do lesbo act and everything.. fucking good man!

Anonymous said...

Whahah! Sibei Good ah!

alice said...

hahaha.. ur blog make me laugh!! thanks =)

alice said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Darth Vader said...

kan pua ho cheow! u always tok abt ur horse...bring it out lah!

Anonymous said...

You're the Eminem of the Singpore lah!

Anonymous said...

hey babe,
i m so far away fr s'pore..but reading yr blog...i can get over the home-sickness! u go man! u rock!

cheers!
jessy

jhana said...

you can bring your horse to the water but can't make it drink. this can mean one of 2 things - if you dislike and find them such a torture, no-one can compel you to go to these places. Or, you choose to follow but your horse simply doesn't like older women much and refuse to move one inch longer.

rubycore said...

rockson you are fucking awesome. and this is coming from a person who hates cheenas and ah bengs. haha.. yes, i am addicted to your blog too!

Caroline* said...

Oh man, you're great. Reading those entries of yours can make me laugh till i drop tears, nice one! :)

Anonymous said...

ur blog very the action barbie lehz...cheo until pa tor tia >.<

lau auntie pretend to be chio bu said...

Rockson so cool! Like your blog.. very funny, full of nonsense and so "chor". Looking forward to your next blog...

Always tease us with your horse... say so big but how we actually know... show pic of your horsey leh...

mlee said...

Funny... good to know about the good and bad bar in spore :)

laba boy said...

K N2 BC2 B anonymous!did i say i go to such places?ccb if u dare put ur fuking number and cb name down la,don put anonymous scare ppl found out who u r ah?fuck you understand! i jus leave my comments u lua chee bye, if u don sympathise them, go and lick their lau pussy lah chao chee bye,talk like a fuking smart alac.chee bye to you,you hear anonymous.

E|@i|\|e said...

rather than going to LSB, can u try going to somewhr better? mayb i can bring you to some nicer and cleaner bars for a drink next time? *wink*

rat said...

Rockson..!!!! today is 4th.!!! where is yr next blog..? i cant wait to read it.. pls write something lah..
fm rat

Anonymous said...

you are....... darn... cant stop laughing.. keep up the good work..

laba boy enemy said...

small dick boi wif BIG ego, did I say u go? i just advice u don go mah. y so jumpy? guilty conscience? hahahaha… i can even tell u where I live u got balls 2 go there look 4 me bo? i sympathise them tat y i never go. no demand no supply. understand? maybe 2 chiam 4 u. hahahaha....

mooiness said...

I never been to lup sup bar but now becoz of u I wanna go see how bad it is really. Wahaahhaah..... rock on brother!

Anonymous said...

Eh, Lan Jiao..How about doing an audio blog..? I am sure your fans will lurve it..myself included..

Anonymous said...

Eh Bra-the, I think hor, your blog site kena ban in China. When I try to access, cannot leh.

My other peng you in China also cannot access leh.

It means your site already kan si lang chao liow.

But you got style la. Pattern a lot. Si bei tok-kong.

Anonymous said...

i wana see ur horse!!

Anonymous said...

i want to see ur horse!!

Rosehip said...

Rockson why do u downgrade urself to go those place!!! :P try a better place next time la those wif super chio young big boobs type...

deefenz said...

U r familiar with Akina Nakamori and Seiko Matsuda ah ! U must be a lau tee ko !!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Rockson,

a fren of mine intro mi to ur blog, read thru ur posts, n i hav to say u muz be one of the funniest person alive man, i read ur blog liao luff till i bth man, u sibei funny lah, keep it up man, haha!

Cheers mate!

dEiLLusiOnmE said...

Moral of the story... dun anyhow go to places u are not familiar with .. stick with traditional methods and places hahahaha safer.. and not so jialat like that. But betta becareful .. if not i might see on ST frontnews headline "ROCKSON TAKUMI TAN famous blogger exposed identity and Now AIDS riden due to too much Unprotected sex." Or i might see " HORSE without a HORSESHOE LEADS TO DEATH OF ROCKSON TAKUMI TAN" hahahahaha.. careful man

dEiLLusiOnmE said...

Qns:Why did the horse cross the causeway?

Ans: To get to the greener bushes on the other side


haha if u get it .. it's a perverted joke la hahaha = X


causeway = first link ... from malaysia to Singapore

bushes = Ahem* you know what

other side = lorong 9 and 24 fish tank area

Anonymous said...

KNN ! how about writing your first sex experience.

RAT said...

ROCKSON.,.THIS MORNING..NO NEW BLOG FM U. NOW AFTER MY WORK.. AIYAH.STILL NO NEW BLOG.. TMW 5TH AUG.. PLS WRITE..LAH..
FM;RAT

RAT said...

ROCKSON.,.THIS MORNING..NO NEW BLOG FM U. NOW AFTER MY WORK.. AIYAH.STILL NO NEW BLOG.. TMW 5TH AUG.. PLS WRITE..LAH..
FM;RAT

blueapple said...

Haha.. i link u ok..

Anonymous said...

I love your blog!!!

So funny yet informative keke...
If not for u i wouldnt noe our gahmen spent F@##ing amount of $$$ on naming Marina with a name we already using LOL. really bo liao.

VEly good! Will wait for the next sur prize! Keep your style hor!

xiaolian said...

y u nv blog today? i wan 2 read.

sTiCkY said...

LOL.. i also waiting.. hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Hey write some more...
You are the entertainment of our days in work place... Thanks for all those laugh.... U really Rock Man!
Merci beaucoup...
LOL....
Cheers...

Anonymous said...

Hey your blog is our entertainment of our work place...
I'm addicted to ur blog too...
You really make us hell like hell sia.. LOL
Merci beaucoup...
Keep up to the good work...
Hope ur days would have so many funny incidents to happen so u can share wif us...
Cheers...

Lawrence said...

Nabey, enough liao, hor! Everytime make fun of me. Next time I will cheong without you.

Anonymous said...

Man! You Blog F****** Rocks! Dam& farny leh!!!!

felix30 said...

nbcb... ur blog damn fucking funny man!! i'm looking forward for more.... =)

Anonymous said...

Vulgarian.

laba boy to no name said...

egolistic?fuck you la.say so much for wat.lan jiao to u ok.
action speak louder la?put place put time fucker.leave down ur address if u really damn wu balls.if not, balls to you,don cm and fuck with me chao chee bye

Anonymous said...

lockson if the gahmen find out who u r in real life

u DIE!

laba boy enemy said...

u sure bo? mai kong song only huh. ok lah. can come to d place nxt 2 this url between mon 2 fri; 8am 2 5pm.

http://www.streetdirectory.com.sg/singaporemap/singaporemap.php?buildingid=149&masterid=43045

anything after. here.

http://www.streetdirectory.com.sg/singaporemap/singaporemap.php?buildingid=3572&masterid=122561

rt here waiting. jz look 4 1 fellow got lan jiao face can liao. hahaha....

.......... said...

haha.. U are a funny guy..

Like to read ur blog during office hr, really very funny

Pls write more often K!!

smokeroo said...

I'm surprised you haven't commented on the ban of smoking in hawker centres and coffeeshops..

Bengz said...

Nabea! like that O-so complain!? last time lim pea went to Changi NSB, that old chee bye neh neh so flat until can flip both over her shouder, and fly off like Jumbo.

+ hil + said...

mannn..this entry got me really laughing lk mad! thanks n keep it up rockson..

i welcome u to check my blog out anytime =)

www.swizzledrizzle.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Wah...you sure boh? What I know is Chinese man's horse very small leh. Look macho on outside but inside like little worm.

Silver said...

haha! u r very hilarious!

Anonymous said...

so where's the lsb har? :P

Evelyn said...

Awesome man....just awesome.

Anonymous said...

Hey rockson, very interesting blog man. First time i'm reading it. Reminds me of the time when i was in NS, all those ridiculous vulgarities and the endless no-holds-barred singlish. But, seems you got this complex about your horse being damn long. I read people with mini horses usually attempt to 'enhance' their barang behind the veil of anonymity on a blog

Anonymous said...

evelyn u r awesome....looking!

Anonymous said...

chio kar peng..hahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Chio ka pengsan!!! my colleague tot i read the porno erotic jokes or wat.. pengz!!

Anonymous said...

Chio ka pengsan!!! my colleague tot i read the porno erotic jokes or wat.. pengz!!

darkness said...

Lols..eur blog damm cute sia..Lamer..yr blog can really make my day i am stucked to ur blog.Lol..

kong said...

piang eh...ur blog hor.. very funny
laugh till peng

Anonymous said...

for LSB in Malaysia try

a) Apollo
b) Sakura >>> best choice

but i wun rather go discos or
niteclubs........

try these places

a) Sakura Niteclub
b) Ye Lai Xiang
c) Ye Shang Hai
d) Tian Wang

c)

Mat- said...

omg.. this is my first time reading ure blog.. U ROCK MAN!

sean said...

hahaha....rockson...u same as me kena cheat by those grandmother but i lucky...there was once the beer i think gt drug or wad i suddenly feel lyk my jorse expand lyk inside gt air lyk tt thn i feel lyk holding two neh neh and squeez and mi horse feel lyk ready to chiong so i cannot tahan thn anyhow grab two neh neh...lucky never grab mi fwen grandmother one...i grab the 22 yrs old waiter one...coz i sitting opposite the door thn when the waiter come in i juz jump out of the sofa and jump at her loh...but the nxt thing vey shiok...gt two men bring the waiter (hu is struggling) and me to one room and there they lock the door thn sae i can do wadever i wan to her...so i hapi unbuckle mi belt thn un-button mi shirt and grab hold of the gal and started ripping her clothes...she at first scream thn afetr tt she tried to hit me the dunno hw her ring caught on to mi underwear and she pull it down thn when she wan to stand up her head hit mi horse and thn she saw it thn dunno y she suddenly go and suck it so i hapi lying on the bed shiok shiok thn suddenly stop...i look y she stop thn...wah piang oi...she started putting mi horse in to her cheebye thn she lost her balance and fall on to me...thn she push mi head to her neh neh and ask me to suck it so i blur blur go suck thn i fainted...when i wake up i saw lip stick marjs all over mi thighs near mi horse and i feel smth in mi mouth and i see...KNN...the gal neh neh in mi mouth!!!

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