Friday, August 05, 2005

Nabei, Singapore so small want to find one President also cannot

They say that this August 27 got President Election. At first I am very happy because maybe that mean got public holiday. Then I check the calendar and KNNBCCB!!!! It is a fucking Saturday! Like that how to have cheebye holiday!!!

Actually also dunno whether will have a fight or not. At first the now President, his name is Nathan (it is the Indian pronounce way, Nar-den, not the Ang Moh style, Neh-ten), he say he want to retire liao. He is already 81 years old, and got a few health problem, so fuck lah, of course want to rest, right?

But then dunno so many MP, NTUC and gahmen people say no lah please don't retire, go for medical checkup and try to run for president again, so he now say he want to be president for another 6 years.

I am thinking, fuck man, Singapore got so little talent until cannot find another man to be President ah? Have to make one poor old Indian man who want to rest go and try and be president again? Lan cheow ok!

Why must like this? Singapore everything good only have One, is it? One man good enough to be president, one party good enough to be gahmen, one Lao Lee good enough to be a PM, then SM, then MM? Singapore don't have other good people meh? Maybe that's why the Singapore song is One People One Nation One Singapore. Everything is fucking ONE!!!

Maybe to become president the pass mark is too high. I heard must have some Certificate of Eligibity. Nabei! Be president also must have COE! Somemore the COE look like only the PAP kind of people can get type.

I heard got one guy running, is some JTC guy, also gahmen type. Lan pa pa lan.

I think it will be fun to see the Election during this month. Because this month is the Seven Month of the Hungry Ghost, and will got many Seven Month getai and wayang. Election is also a kind of wayang what!

Actually I think the Gahmen also want to see whether the Singaporean will vote this old President (OLD President, hahahahaha!!!!) to be the new President. Maybe see if the Singaporean is toolan the Gahmen or not. The NKF already make many Singaporean toolan and because the Gahmen Elections also coming, so must check check a bit.

I think Singaporean don't mind vote another president, if there is a choice. I think most people think president is cho bo lan one, so vote who also never mind. Don't halfway die can already.

But I think the president is not only cho bo lan. I heard he have to look after Gahmen money (which is actually OUR money, but the Gahmen always say is THEIR money). I know! Maybe can get that opposition party guy Chee! His name sound like bad word. If he is president, he can everyday ask the Gahmen "WHERE is the cheebye MONEY?!!!" but confirm won't kena sue! Hahahahaha!!!

I also don't mind if I can be president. Got big house at the Isetana. Outside got so many guard and police look after my house (and my president baobei car can park inside won't kena scratch, not like parking in the cheebye HDB carpark). Then next door my Isetana president house is Plaza Singapura shopping centre (last time Yaohan), and even got MRT. Outside is Orchard Road, got so many sexy chio bu to see. Good what!

But then cannot go and chiong as president, because too famous liao. Wait chiong already will become like that last time ah neh President, Devan Neh. He chiong too much in the end kena the Gahmen fry his cuttle fish.

Anyway too bad, I not smart enough, and cannot get the president COE. Car COE also got problem to get. But if they say lan cheow big can be president, I sure win one. But I think I cannot win in Election, only in Erection. I can be Rockson the Horse President! Hahahahahahaha!!!!

130 comments:

Anonymous said...

I almost spat my coke in front of the LCD. Cheebye la rockson, next time cannot drink and read your blog at the same time

Anonymous said...

LOL~ if u be president,we will have u rally everyday!!! :D

JY said...

Even if you wanna chiong as the president ah, all the char boh you'll be chionging with wouldn't be sweet young things, but very powderful woman that looks as manly as Ho Ho Ching.... maybe once in awhile you get pretty stylish ones like Claire Chang or Eunice Olsen lah...

Anonymous said...

wah lan eh! you always talk about ur lan cheow! ur lan cheow really that big meh? how many hands one ar? (see the xiaxue post on how to measure a lan cheow)

Lupin Tan said...

You go run president, I sunba vote for you one

Anonymous said...

nabeh... u are damn cute.. i try reading out loud your entries and it's sibeh funny... cant stop laughing!! u are full of shit man... where u chiong uh?

Da Froggie said...

Nabei...this is one farking KNNCCB funny entry...U really farking gud!

Anonymous said...

This post is hilarious!!
Looking forward to more!

I really like the "Erection" part ahhahahahaahh!!
3cheers to your horsey!

Anonymous said...

i have to say you are damn farking farny! cannot find someone who writes like that that liao!

Anonymous said...

nabei... i number 10 to reply...

Anonymous said...

LOCKSON LOCK!

Anonymous said...

I cannot tahan ... read your blog sure laugh one. Lockson ah ... you million time better than beng Phua Chu Kang .... Mediacock will take u to play wayang liao ... sure one.

Anonymous said...

haha..funny lancheow stuff...rockson for presilancheowdent! no.1 in singapore

Anonymous said...

So they make the president chiong first to test the water, then they chiong next.

Ah that makes sense.

Anonymous said...

kao.. istana la.. isetana.. u think isetan ah.
if let the cb CHEE! rule, he question gahmen where our money go, scarly he himself pocket our money go overseas have cheap sex and marry many wife.
nathan good la, all presidents either old one or if not die young. how sia...

talk rock only

Fr0g said...

hehehehehehehehehe! U ROCK! SON!!

thank U, never failed to make me ^_____________^

Cheer!

Anonymous said...

The older, the better. Why? Because it's just a symbolic figure.

jyh said...

Nice post. The president really need to take a rest. He's too old.. not saying that he's not capable but........

Anonymous said...

Wah lau, of so many ppl you mentioned that CHEE, I better vote you ...

Anonymous said...

A thai friend asked me what the Sg president does. It would have been good if I could say read all about him in www.rockson.blogspot.com


How's that for Carrying balls?

Anonymous said...

Lockson, I think you too intellegent to be ah beng. I last time study chai chee school one, the international ah beng HQ, and they all not like you so clever.

I think you arctually RJC type pletend to be chai chee school boy.

I think you be plesident the best, at least we all can relate to you.

Anonymous said...

Promise me you will write an interesting story about 7th Month President Wayang, ok? From your style of writing, I can bet my last dollar you are not an Ah Beng....who knows? Maybe you even studied at Oxford! Post more often, ok? Can't live without your blog!!!!

Anonymous said...

If u be president, your first speech will be " KNNBCCB, I Rockson KNN LC Si Bay Toa Ki OK. You all must CB listen to Lin Pay &*%$%^&&**^%$@#%&%& and &^%$%$#$ OK!"

Anonymous said...

hahaha... Funny as usual.. I din even noe there's election till I read ur blog..

Write more k!

Anonymous said...

What? Singapore got president meh?

Anonymous said...

I started reading your blog since the NKF saga. Now whenever I swear KNNBCCB, I feel damn cool.

Anonymous said...

Gahman always looking for talents. KNN we've got one here: rockson!

Anonymous said...

Your blog is damn cool! :>

blueapple said...

Hahahaha.. u very crap leh! Talk cock king la u...

Anonymous said...

Good Blog, if you have a erection i will VOTE for u!!!

Anonymous said...

Presidential election?! I can so hear the wayang musical instruments already lor.

Dok dok dok, DOK CHAENG!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

ROCKSON!! I WILL VOTE FOR U AS THE HORSE PRESIDENT!! HAHAHA.. U are still the best..

Anonymous said...

Your blog is so stimulation under the guise of ahbengism (which I like), everytime I read your entry, I not only laugh but also kena moist ...excuse me, must go change my panties now, next time I will not wear any...

jo said...

muahaha. funny entry. think you have a string of supporters even before you decide to go for the erection, i mean election for president post.

Huda said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

If Rockson becomes President sure got chiobu harem wan !!!

Anonymous said...

wah lan eh lockson...beh ta han u leh...knn everytime read ur blog sure luff till peng...knn funny man...u'r the best tok cok guy man...keep up the good work ah...ho seh ah...hahaha...

Anonymous said...

Rock I think u will be a better President than this prata man leh. Prata man stupid one lah always kiss small children (some more all under age one) n dunno how to kiss chio bu one. Maybe prata man olso cannot kiss chio bu because he got so many health problems, kissing chio bu will make his heart burst hor. Heheheh. Rock you veri the tok kong one.

Anonymous said...

My dearest Rockson boi boi

No need stay Istana there lah. Come to Papa.. i sure will give you all u need..

Luv u always
Papa Gay

Anonymous said...

Wah i got no choise oredi. Erection come I vote 4 u. Ballot paper no your party and name, i draw one big big horse, draw a box and tick this one. Aai sai bo?

Anonymous said...

Rockson, thanks for the laughs...continue to write more please!
I come service car at mitsubishi nothing to do...so read your blog!

Anonymous said...

"Leading foreign newspapers also have been frequently sued by ruling party stalwarts, and the international media rights group Reporters Without Borders ranks Singapore 147th in its press freedom index. North Korea and Cuba rank 156 and 157."

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/08/04/singapore.ap/index.html

Anonymous said...

update us more on current events! we don't read the newspapers as much as you do.

sޡηηєє said...

*pass a COE to Rockson* Certificate of Erection to go Election for the president of Horse Club ... *lol* .. way to go!!! Dun play play ah... say lao lee... hahaha really happy to read your blog :)

Anonymous said...

I love your stories... did you hear about the story that a student was sued for writing something bad in his blog? you better write a disclaimer or something before you get sued too man...

Anonymous said...

Man..if u be President or gahmen ppl we can go party at Isetana liao..and maybe u can build a big pool inside then with many chio bu come and have a pool party!!Come Rockson go for election vote for u!!

Anonymous said...

+1 before lock

Anonymous said...

Disclaimer doesn't absolve you from any liability. You can still be sued if you make deframatory statements.

I hope Rockhead gets sued.

Anonymous said...

U ALL THINK WAD ON HIM ARE U ALL ARE FRIEND ON HIM OR WAD OR U ALL HAVE FUCK BY HIM ISSIT.he is a reallly fuck cheebye if he became president singapore sure kena fuck but malaysia.ROCKSON i tell u singapore so small issit so u leave singapoe lah.TAKUMI u think u r INITAIL D
i think u not that "D" u are just a Xiao Di Di..

Anonymous said...

Fwahh ROCKSON! Getting bolder eh? Waiting for ISA or SOF go raid your house ah? Hoo hoo...eh write some feminist bashing topics leh...Women Charter and craps. Run on the mill life cannot do without ROCKSON's net craps.

Anonymous said...

Rockson!!! You should run for president and pose your horse for the voting photo!! Then all the girls in singapore will vote for you, and since they make up more then 50% of the population you will surely win!! Diok boh????

Anonymous said...

Disclaimer doesn't absolve you from any liability. You can still be sued if you make deframatory statements.

I hope Rockhead gets sued.

Rockson getting sued? LOL never!
And he will be writing this way for years to come, you better jolly well shut up or he will put his horse in ur mouth! Hahahaha!!!
Seriously this guy doesn't have a sense of humour, you need to go fuck off

Anonymous said...

"Clap..Clap..Clap" 3 CB for lockson!

If you win the erection, man...we put your horse statue in place of Sir Stamford Raffles. Everyday place flowers around the bottom of your horse to decorate it....lol

Anonymous said...

ROCKSON FOR PRESIDENT!

Anonymous said...

"wayang" kind of election... what a shame!

Anonymous said...

Rockson you the king man!!! I think seriously you consider running for president or set up your own political party...how bout Horse Action Party? (HAP)...hahah....You should watch Land of the Dead...may inspire you in some ways or another...

Anonymous said...

Hey Rockson. Fwah! You're the MAN! You always say what most people would not dare to say! Keep It Up! Yummmmmmmm..........SENNNGGG!!!

Anonymous said...

aye aye, can post your pictures or not? Both your pwn face and horse face. 1 2 see you leh, hahaha

Anonymous said...

President Rockson !?

"Lan Chao Lah, SinGaPuRa ~!" will be sung on this NDP.

Anonymous said...

rockson ROCKS~!

Anonymous said...

If got presidential erection confirm vote 4 u one.

fabz said...

hahaz...please write more funny stuff! i can't get enough of ur hilarious takes at current affairs!

Anonymous said...

If you president, we all die cock stand =P

Anonymous said...

horse president~ MUAHAHAHAHA
only you can think of such things.
More!! More!!

Anonymous said...

actually the current president aka just the puppet for show only isn't staying at the istana. perhaps the only priviledged one to stay in the istana will be the one and only one who runs the entire country. who else but the pm. sm. mm.....

Anonymous said...

Funny as hell..AS ALWAYS!!! Deep down, i can't help but suspect our dear Rockson Takumi Tan to be this Princeton-alma mater who's some kinda big time lawyer/banker/journalist. A true bleu ah-beng where got write blog with some much depth of thought one? Com'mon...spill the *horsebeans* won't you? *crosses fingers*

Anonymous said...

the whole thing like rockson say is just wayang. show ppl gahmen got work mah. anyway something out of the topic. below is the email i receive fr LTA on the recent ERP. happy reading.

Dear ROCC members

I refer to the last ROCC meeting held on 28 July 05.

This serves to remind members that, with the introduction of the Evening
ERP at CTE (6.00pm to 8.00pm), from Monday to Friday, some motorists will
use the following alternative routes and avoid using the CTE:

1. Thomson Rd
2. Upp Thomson Rd
3. Serangoon Rd
4. Upp Serangoon Rd
5. Marymount Rd
6. Ang Mo Kio Ave 6

Please refrain from carrying out roadworks from 4.30pm to 9.00 pm in the
evening hours (Mon - Fri) along the above roads until further notice.
Thank you.


Best Regards,
Lim Sun Kiat
Road Management Department
LTA
Tel: 63962096

Anonymous said...

U preisident ah mai lai la brother we all will jia sai liao hwahahahahahaha

WaN'eR said...

LOK-SON!
show us pics of your horse lei...
you keep saying until i very gian.

Anonymous said...

wa neh neh la rockson u dont write your entries until so sialan la but den nice to read =D keep up the knnccb good work

Anonymous said...

if u run for presidency, yr wayang stage will be at the turf club!

Anonymous said...

eh rockson, you sibeh funny! but i agree with u la. he's not too bad. but then again, we can't scold things like fuckanathan or cockanathan. so disrespectful. sigh :(
anyway nathan's so old already.. if he passes away in office, we might have a public holiday!!! you also like public holidays right! plus LKY's holiday, got 2 altogether! hahahha..

Anonymous said...

Rockson, you are losing your touch oredy man...But I will still vote for you! ahhaahha! But remember, president cannot drive EVO hor...

Anonymous said...

U all might want to check out this blog. http://thethirdholocaust.blogspot.com

Rockson, i tink u velly kind ley.. u comment and comment but not racist... GOOD! I like u! haha. Log on ok.

Anonymous said...

There is a god... and his name is ROCKSON! You Rock, dude!

Anonymous said...

Rockson, like so many ppl I enjoy your blog very much. I'd like to give you back something as a token of my appreciation. Maybe buy you a drink or give you a chiong treat. I know you will not give your address for obvious reason... where can I send my gift? I am serious.
Rock On, Rockson!

Anonymous said...

Wah lan eh! Ya planned out ya story one is it? So fking funny! HAHAHA!

Geek In Pink said...

that is supper hilarious lor!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

ya rockson is rite! singapore everything only got one... oi one rockson ok!!!

rockson horse big big hard hard like rock o! we vote erection in!

Details: said...

For someone so old and going for another round of presidential election even with the entire NTUC and PAP backing, it really makes you wonder if it is a blessing or more harm done.

Earn so much also cannot totally relax.

Anonymous said...

I was at the West Coast Park Dog Run this afternoon where a National Day Dog Walk was being held. The turnout was very good. I think probalby more than 300 dogs or more. Multiply that by an average of 2.5 humans (my guess). there are at least 750 people there. This guy Andrew Kuan who standing against Nathan was there marketing himsslf. Very interesting. You have to take this guy seriously cos he seem very serious based on his words and actions so far. Now that I have a choice and a chance to vote and not just any person without background or integrity I sure vote one.

Anonymous said...

haha. knn. euu damn funni siaa. cheow ga wa peng ahh read ur blogg. kip up de gud work man. next tym nt feelin happi cum c ur blogg comfirm cheer up one!! haha. byee.

Tee Hedge Bee said...

TMD. Can't sit properly after reading ur blog.

Anonymous said...

YOU"RE THE MAN ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rockson be "Prey-si-dan" I'm sure tonnes of Voters (+ me)

- have new KNNBCCB rules
- speed limit (by your car not 90/kmh)
- NKF go fuck spider
- TP use Kancil not REX
- Marina Bay become Chee Bye Bay
- 2nd new geyland in the WEST to balance the force..

Anonymous said...

superb entry! your blogs never fail to make me laugh. keep up the good work (sound like yr cheecher leh!)

Anonymous said...

Cocky,

Spore kena play one time, take younger a bit play see dent, horse can nge one, can go up one, chiong one, the one name Devan neh....he.he..he..Now jaga Geylang lorong 21.

So now better take old one ma, cannot nge one, cannot stand one, horse always sleep, humble somemore and always got security guard wife always follow one behind.

Better vote for Rockson Geylang free entry, members got gold card.

Anonymous said...

Inside info: The CID is watching this site. you better watch your words on the president.

Anonymous said...

Wow CID :-)
so serious huh?

Anonymous said...

Issit ? CID chiak pa bo sai pang ?

Anonymous said...

I wonder my willy the whale bigger or ur house is bigger?pretty obvious?hahaha

Aaron Tan said...

Dude, regarding the NKF thingy..I read somewhere..I think The Star (Malaysian newspaper laaa) says that...every RM1 we donate to NKF..(can get a bookmark!) ... ONLY 10 CENTS GOES TO NKF!!! the rest? go to the printers, publishers, bizmen, the guy who collect the donation... i was like...WTF!!!

Anonymous said...

may i know yo shoesize ? like to buy u a pair of cool shoes

BlueRose said...

hey rockson..got ur url from an email to my friend..i must say u r one damn straightforward guy..hmm aren't u afraid of getting slammed by authorities or something..heheh aniway.. keep on blogging..

Anonymous said...

Kuan will get my vote, that is if gahmen doesn't come up with some lame excuse to disqualify him. Cockanathan the stale prata can kiss my ass!

Anonymous said...

Huh?? CID?? so serious??

keke

Anonymous said...

wow..xishi...ur pic very nice ler...look like u got very big boobs..and very pretty...until i see the larger one...

Anonymous said...

kpkb la ccb so old liao be smlj president. change some other guy la kaoz.

Grace said...

dear rockson,

wish you'd blog more often! My colleagues and I love reading your blog together on each on our PCs..it really makes our day. Keep the peace!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Inside info: The CID is watching this site. you better watch your words on the president.

Monday, August 08, 2005 2:30:19 AM

i think this is just some asshole trying to scare u.. cos it was like 2.30am in the morning when it was wrote.. haha.. must be some loser..

Anonymous said...

Since we are a democratic society.. why cant we elect our Prime Minister instead??? we have elections for President and MPs.. so why not also for the Prime Minister? Food for thought! :)

Anonymous said...

...no doubt the election is on 27th Aug. But i don think there's gonna have holiday. Coz from the look of it, "Election" is just for show. End up,its gonna be the same 81yrs old president again. Perhaps what you might see in future is that he will be carrying a packet of his urine with tubes into his pants on one hand, and the other hand waiving to us again.

Anonymous said...

cool

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Thanks for the criticsms.. =)

Anonymous said...

The current ah neh president looks more like a Butler or JarGa when standing with other leaders of the world, how the fuck can we sell CinKaPor like that ... Mr.Goh at least got the hight, last time see him take photo with U.S CheeBye Bush, stylo man our ex-PM~! can look DOWN on cheebye Bush.

Anonymous said...

since ah neh is to test water, we shd vote for some other candidates so that zeng hoo scared they lose GE, they will give us more perks...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Inside info: The CID is watching this site. you better watch your words on the president.
Monday, August 08, 2005 2:30:19 AM

sTiCkY said...
i think this is just some asshole trying to scare u.. cos it was like 2.30am in the morning when it was wrote.. haha.. must be some loser..
Monday, August 08, 2005 2:11:58 PM

Ya, even if a gahmen department is responsible for this it's Internal Security mah. CID is for checking on criminals. Come on lah say you prefer to vote someone esle also scared.. got lam phar or not.

Anonymous said...

"Everything is fucking ONE!!!"

aiya lokson...u dunno meh??
sinkapor muz be number ONE in everything mah! Number ONE seaport, number ONE airport, number ONE airline, number ONE this and that and dunno what lan jiao lah! KNNPCB

Anonymous said...

Rockson, I think you are actually very smart man one. Behind all those chee bye words you use are solid issues. Solid like my old horse, hahahaha!!

Anonymous said...

Test Test

Anonymous said...

NATHAN = No Authority To Head A Nation....

Anonymous said...

Don't vote for Nathan. This bloody president thinks he is very big shot always never sing Majulah Singapura at Parade or any other official function. Old Lee also sing, Goh also sing, Young Lee also sing, everybody also sing only the fatty mouth always shut tighter than a virgin CB

Anonymous said...

hey rockson...ur horse really that big ah??i dun believe leh...take a picture of ur horse and post it lah....thn i can see ur horse and one more thing...how old are u and when i try to sign up for blogger all chinese word very hard to read leh i want english hw to make ah??

Anonymous said...

CID CID la..big fuck izzit...
Blog is free to comment.

Regarding the song "one ppl, one nation , one singapore" is very right---refering to lao Lee himself

Anonymous said...

nice blog u haf.. *stunt enjoy reading

Anonymous said...

KNNBCCB!!!! Why mustpersuade Nathan to run again. He is so old and sick, sure die half way one. Why not ask T.T. Durai to run. He sure qualified one. He was CEO of an organisation worth more than $100 million. Besides he loves gold tap and expensive toilet seat, I am sure there are a lot of gold tap and expensive toilet seats inside the Istana. President also get to fly first class. This job sure suit T.T.Durai very much. Why the fuck the PAP never ask him to be the President? He is much better than Nathan, much younger and healthier. Nathan will surely join the previous 2 Presidents to die in Office.

Anonymous said...

I vote for u..

Rockson the Horse president..haha

Anonymous said...

Superb!! Really enjoy reading your Blog everyday!!! keep it up, it is people like you who make us happy people!!

Anonymous said...

Hi bradder, do you believe Ms Ho Ching may be our president someday?
I'm concerned that our REPUBLIC may turn into an EMPIRE.
The latest Star Wars movie really hit me!
In the movie, at least the Jedi realised the plot and tried to stop the formation of the Empire (Monarchy).
Here looks like they had already "brought" most of the "Jedi".....

Anonymous said...

ROCKSON ROCKS ON!

Anonymous said...

This kind of ah-Peh kopitiam talk is so common. What's the fucking big deal?

If it is your neighbourhood ah peh saying this, you don't laugh. But when it is Rockson, you laugh.

Anonymous said...

yo rockson... u si beh funni la..... some topic make sense... wearly good man.... havin bad day is nothin after reading ur blog..... :)

Anonymous said...

Only 138 comments? C'mon you people, we gotta get 300 comments!!!

Anonymous said...

You are funny but I think
humour doesn't require vulgarity.
The power of life and death lies on your tongue. So do watch what you spout less you speak curse on to your life.

Anonymous said...

To Ho Bo (post at Friday, August 12, 2005 11:18:55 PM),
Employee resign boss feel no face already u still wants her to support and congra him ? u r dreaming is it ?

Anonymous said...

ya lor. the government dont let the president rest. he's so poor thing can. alibaba

Anonymous said...

halo chinese fella...how big can ur horse be??? pls lah we sikhs can beat u chinese fellas horses hands down... stop talking about ur horse or else all sikhs will combine n rip ur ass off....ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

you're such an idiot and you're blog is not funny. go fuck urself

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Anonymous said...

Nabei cheebai you see this post?

"halo chinese fella...how big can ur horse be??? pls lah we sikhs can beat u chinese fellas horses hands down... stop talking about ur horse or else all sikhs will combine n rip ur ass off....ha ha ha"

You think your mother cheebai can tahan our "horse" isit? nabei, if not happy come la nbcb measure your lan cheow la! compare whose bigger! knnbccb racist!