I went with Raymond and Lawrence to some lup sup bar again yesterday. Those fuckers always like to go this kind of place, because the waitress carry your beer for you, and your hands can rest on their neh nehs to play.
These kind of woman they also like, their pua cheebye dunno how many man fuck before, hole big until can put jack fruit inside. Wait their lan cheow fall off then they know.
But Raymond say he buy the drinks, so I go with them. When we are drinking he told me that the new property law now can let you buy house with very little money.
Must be election coming, gahmen so good, make it easier for you to buy house, even though you still cannot find job. Is like those prostitute, let you touch touch their neh neh, make your lan cheow hard, then you forget the last time what sex disease they give you that you cannot pronounce the name one.
Singaporean is like that too. Always let the gahmen rub their cock, make them forget all the bad times.
Raymond said, last time can only loan 80%, now can loan 90%, and downpayment only 10%. Somemore 5% can CPF and 5% can be cash.
I said, ler gong simi lan cheow? What the fuck you talking, percent here percent there, I not fucking maths teacher, ok?
Oh, he said, is very simple.
Last time if the condom cost $500,000, need to come out $100k downpayment, then the rest ($400k) take loan. Now can come out only $25k cash, $25k from CPF for downpayment, then take $450k loan.
He said sian, I want to buy, but my HDB 5-room I bought too expensive, $400,000, in 2000, now the value only $300,000. Sell already sure confirm lugi, lose money until will tng kor. But fuck leh, I also want to buy private condom, he said.
I ask him, so now this new law change means house is cheaper issit?
Raymond said, no lah. Probably house price will go up, because more people see the 5% cash law sure gian one because no need come out so much cash to buy and then can take loan for long long time, like 35 years, then pay less every month lor, he said.
I told Raymond, 35 years is fucking long time to loan leh. Cheebye lah, you think you can have job for 35 years nobody retrench you ah? You don't forget, last 5 years, you kena retrench twice liao leh. So this time if you take new loan, then no job again, then how? Hong kan liao lor!
This gahmen is not god, ok, even though they want you to believe they can do magic and make the new job. Even blow job they also cannot promise you.
I told him, somemore if I take more loan like the new 90%, means my interest also more, right? (This one is I learn from I buy car.)
Ya lah, he said, but less to pay in front, and less to pay every month. Can one lah.
And then, I said, interest rate leh? Interest rate 35 years won't change meh? House price won't drop meh? Lan cheow, ok!
Singaporean damn like to pay by installment. Car installment, house also installment, even buy the fucking furniture and big tv also installment. I think my friends, if buy one fuck also can pay by installment, they will also apply.
Maybe next time the bank will issue new credit card, call the Geylang Gold Fuck Card. Go Geylang no need use money, just pay by installment. Fuck 5 times, get 1 suck free. Fuck 10 times, get 1 fuck free. Fuck 20 times, can win lucky draw prize of sports car and one night free with Irene Ang the Phua Chu Kang wife (the new skinny version, not the old fat one..... actually both also bad). Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Bank will love you long time, because your installment will never finish paying, every month you like to only pay the interest. Then you pray and hope your god will give you bonus at the end of the year to pay the rest.
Actually, bank is like the Ah Long and the Orh Gui Tao put together. Lend you money to go fuck yourself.
Anyway, I said to him, Gahmen also love to make you buy house loan long time. Like this you toolan here also won't dare to go overseas or vote opposition. With car loan 10 years and house loan 35 years to pay, you will guai guai sit there let them do what fuck they like, and hope their cheebye will always be like angel virgin clean, and won't give you disease until you die.
But by this time, Raymond never listen to me, because he too drunk already. And his hands very busy playing the waitress neh neh.