Monday, July 25, 2005

Singapore buy house no need to come out money, cheebye where got such thing

I went with Raymond and Lawrence to some lup sup bar again yesterday. Those fuckers always like to go this kind of place, because the waitress carry your beer for you, and your hands can rest on their neh nehs to play.

These kind of woman they also like, their pua cheebye dunno how many man fuck before, hole big until can put jack fruit inside. Wait their lan cheow fall off then they know.

But Raymond say he buy the drinks, so I go with them. When we are drinking he told me that the new property law now can let you buy house with very little money.

Must be election coming, gahmen so good, make it easier for you to buy house, even though you still cannot find job. Is like those prostitute, let you touch touch their neh neh, make your lan cheow hard, then you forget the last time what sex disease they give you that you cannot pronounce the name one.

Singaporean is like that too. Always let the gahmen rub their cock, make them forget all the bad times.

Raymond said, last time can only loan 80%, now can loan 90%, and downpayment only 10%. Somemore 5% can CPF and 5% can be cash.

I said, ler gong simi lan cheow? What the fuck you talking, percent here percent there, I not fucking maths teacher, ok?

Oh, he said, is very simple.

Last time if the condom cost $500,000, need to come out $100k downpayment, then the rest ($400k) take loan. Now can come out only $25k cash, $25k from CPF for downpayment, then take $450k loan.

He said sian, I want to buy, but my HDB 5-room I bought too expensive, $400,000, in 2000, now the value only $300,000. Sell already sure confirm lugi, lose money until will tng kor. But fuck leh, I also want to buy private condom, he said.

I ask him, so now this new law change means house is cheaper issit?

Raymond said, no lah. Probably house price will go up, because more people see the 5% cash law sure gian one because no need come out so much cash to buy and then can take loan for long long time, like 35 years, then pay less every month lor, he said.

I told Raymond, 35 years is fucking long time to loan leh. Cheebye lah, you think you can have job for 35 years nobody retrench you ah? You don't forget, last 5 years, you kena retrench twice liao leh. So this time if you take new loan, then no job again, then how? Hong kan liao lor!

This gahmen is not god, ok, even though they want you to believe they can do magic and make the new job. Even blow job they also cannot promise you.

I told him, somemore if I take more loan like the new 90%, means my interest also more, right? (This one is I learn from I buy car.)

Ya lah, he said, but less to pay in front, and less to pay every month. Can one lah.

And then, I said, interest rate leh? Interest rate 35 years won't change meh? House price won't drop meh? Lan cheow, ok!

Singaporean damn like to pay by installment. Car installment, house also installment, even buy the fucking furniture and big tv also installment. I think my friends, if buy one fuck also can pay by installment, they will also apply.

Maybe next time the bank will issue new credit card, call the Geylang Gold Fuck Card. Go Geylang no need use money, just pay by installment. Fuck 5 times, get 1 suck free. Fuck 10 times, get 1 fuck free. Fuck 20 times, can win lucky draw prize of sports car and one night free with Irene Ang the Phua Chu Kang wife (the new skinny version, not the old fat one..... actually both also bad). Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Bank will love you long time, because your installment will never finish paying, every month you like to only pay the interest. Then you pray and hope your god will give you bonus at the end of the year to pay the rest.

Actually, bank is like the Ah Long and the Orh Gui Tao put together. Lend you money to go fuck yourself.

Anyway, I said to him, Gahmen also love to make you buy house loan long time. Like this you toolan here also won't dare to go overseas or vote opposition. With car loan 10 years and house loan 35 years to pay, you will guai guai sit there let them do what fuck they like, and hope their cheebye will always be like angel virgin clean, and won't give you disease until you die.

But by this time, Raymond never listen to me, because he too drunk already. And his hands very busy playing the waitress neh neh.

115 comments:

Anonymous said...

Walau Rockson very "bei guan" leh! Price can drop but also can increase wat! But then hor then part about locking u down gt make sense la~ But no risk no gain leh!

LaDyReD said...

Aiyah .. We all Singaporean always tng kor give gahmen fuck what....
What to do...?

Aaron Tan said...

again...you rocks...so much truth in what u wrote...

Anonymous said...

Rockson, are you sure you are an Ah Beng? Something about your analysis tells no ley....

Anonymous said...

Ah Beng got discuss these issue at those place ar???? i thought only sing, drink and play :p

Anonymous said...

rockson is mr miyagi! ahaha.

Elvin said...

you are fcuking zai...

Anonymous said...

so rockson u just sit there guai guai n drink? ur hair never wander to the N N?..haha. anyway be careful with loans, rockson is right to say the interest can kill u.

Anonymous said...

hey rockson, which pub u and ur friends went? i guess most of us also want to know, so we can go teh neh neh

Anonymous said...

CheeBye lah Rockson, got big neh neh there or kot? U Sire?, last time lim pea squeese blinkymummy's neh neh, so fucking small one leh ...

sÞ¡ηηєє said...

Wow Condo become Condom.I like ur analogy on the election. Aiyo u damn solid la Rockson! Had a bad day, ur post really lighten me up :) thanks :)

Anonymous said...

I think that Blinky zhar bor got issues one ! If break up with her hor, will sure kill (if you donch have labbit) your meow meow or whoa whoa one !!!

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine forwarded your blog to me when I am down with flu, sniffing and tearing and all... but you make me laugh till I tear even more. Ah beng on the surface but a true thinker beneath?

Anonymous said...

fucking power sia your blog i respect.
up for fellow ah beng.

Wei Xin said...

It is indeed amusing to see you express yourself on this weblog... I would rather say this is one blog which i would return to read... However i am sure your vocabulary isn't only limited to lan cheow only right?

Anonymous said...

you talking about condo or condom? Wah lau. Condom cost half a million, the cock is made of diamond is izzit?

Anonymous said...

i bow to you.

Anonymous said...

well done! Good analysis of the issues...u rock man!

Anonymous said...

Hor ah!!!

I will read your blog from today onwards!

Anonymous said...

Wah, you so free ah ! post tis at ~4pm... no need to work ah...oopss, u r in the army or not ? aiya, i think i know lah, you must be working in the la sap bar provide neh neh for ppl sso issit. Rock mann.

Anonymous said...

Quote you "Must be election coming...".

Is not "Must be erection coming..." meh? Hahahahaha

Oreo said...

Well said, like what i said in my blog.

Stupidity cannot be cured lah. Now alot of Singaporean like "collect gold" like that go Q up (fav past time) to book for their "death cert".

"Par-ruay" mentality. Only good at making the bank laugh until pants drop.

Anonymous said...

steady bom pi pi post sial. nice analogy. sibeh sud

Anonymous said...

miyagi dont't know all these fuck things one lah, he only know how to bio girls using his blogs to get pity. That short fuck.

Anonymous said...

this one blog rocks man! better than that stupid xiaxue and kennysia on know who to complain about everyone except themselves. this blog super cool!

Anonymous said...

bradder good stuff here

http://forums.hardwarezone.com/showthread.php?t=1071617&page=1&pp=30

Anonymous said...

similanjiao?
KNN, post link to stupid HWZ.

Anonymous said...

Good insight. Beautiful language. Well put. Rock on!
Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Everyone, for the 1st time in his writing he never mention his 'drum rolls' Horse =)

Good take on current local issues, better than those lame Media Crap's current affairs ppl.

scuderia.kevingoh said...

eh lockson. do u intend to PodCast? i would really want to LISTEN to you fuck our gahmen.

ROCK ON.

cant wait for your next post.

mooiness said...

Yes super astute analogies and analysis. Govt never so ho-khang-tao one - must got reasons. :)

Anonymous said...

cheebye lah, wah lan eh, every day read your blog laugh until peng!

Power man, i'll vote for your blog #1 in Singapore JB and Batam!

Anonymous said...

pls lah stop entertaining your readers with so much vulgarities. I think you're going too far..no need to do this right..how do you think it reflects on you?

mother raise you up to scold vulgarities only?? I don't think this is entertainment, maybe to others. The more people comment on your blog the more you act seh and talk more dirty...wake up your stupid ideas

Anonymous said...

heh... u are my idol... haha... i think everything u say is rite... haha... aniwae... reali got such pubs where the waitress let u play with their neh neh one mehz... sorie arh... if i veri sua gu...

tcn afen said...

Rockson ah you damn funny
I don't think you're a real ah beng but if you are, I've been looking for ah bengs to do a photoshoot.
come lah get your ah beng friends and I'll make you guys look cooler
get in touch with me through the email on my blogger profile, plus you can check my website out in the profile

Anonymous said...

knn u all damn weak man. Want to read tok kong stuff just go to http://forums.delphiforums.com/sammyboymod/start

Anonymous said...

cheeby gahmen trciks again, this time dont know what they are up to. Whatever is it, it is going to suck some of our blood.

Every a new policy is implemented, gahmen sure dan tua lui, we suck cock and kana squeeze. cheeby, kana cheeby, earn so much money for fuck, cant bring to coffin what. At the end no time to spent, so what is the differnece between money and waste paper.

Nabei, gahmen so rich, we so poor, hope one day they die protecting their money.

kennysia said...

waliew!

Waverley said...

Bro, dunno how you do it, but analytical skills + humour + profanities = chio kah peng!

Anonymous said...

Is your HORSE sleeping? You didn't mention it this time. I think it must be DAMN tired working out!

Hahaha...

Anyways, there's a lot of truths in what u wrote. Certain things that was actually in the back of our minds was all poured out here.

Anonymous said...

You are SO not an ah beng.
but good post.

Anonymous said...

Cocky,

You arr right, Rockson. This spore govt. worst than dracula, suck until cock no water.
1. Telephone u use then U pay very cheap..Lancheow cheap now want to use also scared.
2.GST good no need to pay tax.
Lancheow no need..Now all family must pay GST
3.Take public transport. Bus all cut here cut there,take bus, take MRT then Bus again very cheap..Lancheow cheap.
4. Buy new buses, fare must go up..What like we got share like that..Lancheow
5. Work must multitasking, 1 person do three people work..Lancheow you MP very small zone also many MP, why not you do firsy jaga three zone. Talk cock only Cheebye.

Anonymous said...

Errr Midnight, you seem to be a master of the obvious !!!

cal said...

chee bye i'll die of laughter if lee kuan yew reads this lor.

Anonymous said...

>>>pls lah stop entertaining your readers with so much vulgarities. I think you're going too far..no need to do this right..how do you think it reflects on you?

mother raise you up to scold vulgarities only?? I don't think this is entertainment, maybe to others. The more people comment on your blog the more you act seh and talk more dirty...wake up your stupid ideas >>>

Hey Ah Chek or Ah Soh...you don't like this blog you don't have to log in to read....shuuuu..piss off!

Honestly, you didn't read between the lines of our idol izit? This ah beng I think is a highly educated guy. No ah beng can punctuate so well. Maybe you don't like the truth about what he wrote. His vulgarities somehow attracted alot of readers too. I have a PHD too but I also enjoy reading this blog as he has terrific humor. I think if minus the vulgarities it becomes too boring.

3 thumbs up to you Rockson!

Anonymous said...

Hi Rock I salute you leh and yes our fucking gahmen only knows how to con us and suck us dry. Come election I will give them my lan cheow to suck. Kan chee bye.

Anonymous said...

kenny sia is here. KNN, go back to your kampong lah. Here is a blog for adults not for you and your stupid friends like xiaxue or that short fuck mi-suay-ki and not miyaki.

Purposely post a reply with your stupid face on it. shoo shoo stupid boy.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, with the chor words and all. I don't believe you are Ah Beng, but doesn't matter. You're still very entertaining.

To those who don't like the crude words, don't come back loh. But don't pretend lah, act goodie goodie 2 shoes, also everyday come back and check if got updates or not. Fuck you lah.

Anonymous said...

You made my day

Anonymous said...

Hey U cockenathan. your singlish is fucking the best man. where is the bar where i can touch neh nehs for free I want to fuck some babes and how come u get to meet alot of chio bus i also want.

Da Froggie said...

Rockson Brudder...you sibeh the steady leh...

I see u berry up!

Fr0g said...

"Singaporean damn like to pay by installment. Car installment, house also installment, even buy the fucking furniture and big tv also installment. I think my friends, if buy one fuck also can pay by installment, they will also apply."

i like this these lines the best of all! lolx really made my DAY!

Keep it up! I enjoyed your blog a lots! Very classic in different way...

Cheer! ^________^

Anonymous said...

bro. you are the one and only blogger in sg who can write analysis about current affairs in such a hilarious but insightful manner.

i really enjoy reading your posts. keep it up and update it more often. ok? sometimes got to wait damn long leh. sibeh sian in office one ok?

Anonymous said...

Rockson, you kaobei kaobu gahman, but u still link to YoungPAP??? Buay gum leh? Maybe someone oreidi ask b4 care to tell mi boh? Gumsiah

Anonymous said...

hello. how come your friends so busy teh the nehneh but you so busy talking about loans?

your horse retire already meh? Go buy jamu lah can make your horse buck up one ok I think you make up stori lah but still damn good stori must give you nobel prize for current affairs.

Anonymous said...

Wah! Rockson Takumi Tan! You are fast becoming the voice of an entire generation of Singaporeans!

Anonymous said...

Rockson, die die you must stand for election. Better we ask our sister to part time in Geylang make monies for your deposit than let the Mabuk Tan blow another $400K!

Anonymous said...

Rockson, u are sibeh guai lan...ur blog me feel so lan lan about the situation in Stinkapore...A place to KUM LaN.....

blueapple said...

Hahaha... gao siao ah u.. I also dont believe tat NOW he is an ah beng.. Maybe LAST TIME ah beng la huh..

Anonymous said...

http://photobucket.com/albums/y29/vnc2005/Swiss_Standard_of_Living/

http://photobucket.com/albums/y29/vnc2005/Beggars_and_Peddlers/

Anonymous said...

ROCKSON SHOULD BE THE VOICE OF PUBLIC IN THE gahmen. With all the CB reply I'm sure gahmen will listen very clearly.

You're the ONE,

Anonymous said...

I tink gahmen scared scared hdb flats bo lang buay. Alreadi many many key liau can't can't. New policy give peeple batter chance to buay. Like dat can say help peeple compete with fallen talent who buay lagi expensive chu mah!

mooiness said...

Eh brother, you got competition now:

Emilio Jackson Tan - emilio.blogspot.com

Dragon Beng - rantrock.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

you very bo liao

Anonymous said...

wahahah

Anonymous said...

Friend of mine recommend yr blog to me.. after i had a lousy day..now l look forward.. in enjoying yr comments.. damm good lah.. ahhahah...

Anonymous said...

Insightful social commentary hidden behind a veil of vulgarities and boorishness. As long as you keep to your "trashy" ways, the Gahmen cannot take you seriously and hopefully will not be so inclined to sue you or take you down!

I love your style Rockson.

weisianz said...

got those kinda pubs ar? where ar? hahaha..

Cowboy Caleb said...

Eh, I thought you never go to this kind of tah poh place one.

Nice writeup!

Anonymous said...

u are soooo daring to say this......

Anonymous said...

wah you site very success siah, so many people read and comment...you basically "translated" the analysis in Biz times into "Bengish". Who knows, you may have written those analysis in the first place, hehe.

Anonymous said...

Bradder, bradder, you talk very easy to listen, I like it.
Like my cleverer fren seh "doctor not enough", "lawyer not enough", "garmen opposition not enough", "charity boss not enough" maybe now "banks also not enough" must give ah longs banking licenses hahaha.

Garmen seh less banks better for us, where got!!! You think better?

Have more of them and they will have to fight, fight, fight like what we are doing now then prices la, interest la, everything will drop.

You're right now everything they do we also lan, lan..

Anonymous said...

Hmm... for once u nvr mention ur 'horse' hehehehe
shrink already??

Anonymous said...

truthhhh......

Anonymous said...

Bradder, forget to tell you another thing, my cleverer fren seh many useless ppl in garmeh and garmeh control company.
Wah! Every year no review meh? Why cannot sack them? Last time my company sack many managers, supervisors and also me because we kena bad review you know!
So stupid, must retrench even the useless ones and pay a lot of PPL money to them.
Last time he read newspaper, one clever angmoh in Hongkong seh our garmeh very very expensive to run you know!
I blurr now leh, this one not vote-buying meh?

R2D2 said...

Nabeh, you not real ah beng. Your language too power to be ah beng already.

CyBorg said...

woah....
i like ur posts sia!!! first time read already hooked....
sibei solid ah le....
gahmen...will forever be gahmen....no money, squueze...got money...squeeze........ everyhting also squeeze lor.... cb
eh.... dun mind i link u up hor.

Anonymous said...

Good comment on the housing loans... Knn your friend Raymond is a cock head. Cannot think far... Maybe the char bo suck until brain juice all gone..

Anonymous said...

Haha! You're freaking hilarious, can i marry u? Hahahahhaa

Anonymous said...

Last time in NS they teach us must protect cuntry from 'enemy' ! Now, after some years in the real world I liao kai the gahmen is the 'enemy' who is the terrorist that want to kill us slowly !

Anonymous said...

hey, blinkymummy has organized wine tasting trip. Can you organize "cheong bar" trip. Ask your lawrence friend to help, lor.

can?

Koexist said...

Haha... you got a v funny blog here!

Rock on!!

Anonymous said...

Cocky 2nd comm.

Rockson, I advice 2 your cuckoo friend better not buy condominium, cause Spore govt. cannot tahan see Spore people got many money, eyes red red big big.
Suggestion better buy CONDOM medium cheap & Safe mah & no interest cash somemore.

Reveal of governmentcy.1
I give U fish, I must take back chicken. Like this maaa. This bill go down abit, happy awhile next month other thing go up more, more head pain.

Reveal of governmentcy.2
Singapore people better be poor later they work hard die die like that, better for them.
Not happy beh tahan people make money selling and buy house, give one stupid reason now sell house sure lose money, but they earn money.

Reveal of governmentcy.3
They not happy, give one stupid reason they make money.

Like ciggaretee. not happy they give 1 stupid reason they make many many money, one day one stick expensive then CheeBye maa.. better suck neh..neh...

Oreo said...

U need 2 hand to clap right?

We have gahment one hand, the people the other hand......

But i very the confused also...everyday see the free newspaper...meng meng kong 5% cash downpayment mah.....why singaporean behave like 5% discount like that?

Somemore, lagi best, one page say everyone rushing to buy house, the sec page news say ecomony slowing down, share drop, etc etc....i think those rush and buy now one can also buy those high floor one....so no money pay, jump down sure die...but than, they will be charged for killer litter bug!

Anyway, i really hope singaporean buy buy buy now.....the more the merrier...also if possible lah, buy big cars also....

Like that 10 yrs later, i shop for sec hand car or house will be very the cheap lah...

Thanks Singaporean.

Gabrielle said...

what to do?? the rich get richer cos they suck the poor poorer...

so the poor can only suck thumb lor.

Anonymous said...

You are in Todays TODAY newspaper leh

well done

Anonymous said...

i think i'm more hooked to reading the comments than rockson's posts! hee!

jyh said...

Wow, talking abt Government policy in an entertaining method. Not bad.

Anonymous said...

wo yong yuan zi chi ni !!!

Anonymous said...

Blog林至尊, Rockson屠龙。 Gahmen不出,谁与争锋!
You rocks!

Oreo said...

Zi Chi ki lan er...wait when gahment start hunt him down.....I like to see which lan out there Zi Chi him...

Kong Simi Lan Jiao also bo eng!

Anonymous said...

bodoh...stupid punya blog? who is this rockson motherfucker?

Anonymous said...

u still continue to brighten my day!yup!YOU ROCK!

vonbie_ said...

hahahaha u rocks man.. i cannot stop laughing!!

=) at least singapore got a decent blogger.. unlike that xiaxue. =.=

jia you.. i will keep visiting this blog =D

-von-ified

Anonymous said...

eh uncle, thankiew for educating people with poor english like me about gahmen issues in spore hor. if not for ur blog, i wouldnt understand what the fuck the newspaper is writing about.
to all the rest reading this, u must encourage ur children to read rockson takumi blog. u learn how to fuck safely, and also learn about our guai-lan gahmen and their singaporean atics. act like everything free like that.
what say u?
KIASU mah

lildodo said...

whao im impressed with ur entries..ey're damn funny.. u're good man.. =) cheerz

Anonymous said...

interesting blog... cheers!


cheers!
wyattalic
http://wyattalic.tblog.com

Anonymous said...

Hey man! Nice blog bro! Keep up the good wk. Always look forward to read more of yr stories!
Any comments on the night time ERP! fucking bitch right? :)

Anonymous said...

i like... omg

american dream said...

Fuck, i love your entries dude.

Anonymous said...

haha, in my opinion, you are an educated thinker who speaks like ah beng. think again, singapore wants ppl to stay in s'pore on a long term basis, so how? make you take loan 35 yrs! so in the next 35 yrs, you WILL be in s'pore. later? you already 60 yrs old, the gov pray you migrate as you no longer work and only use their facilities as a SENIOR CITIZEN.

Anonymous said...

Fuuyooo!!! Read your blog...Wat a fact, sial! Good werk!...at the same time can olso learn some new hokkien words...then i can use to scold my chinese friends!*HAAHAA*

fcukling said...

haha! hilarious shite.

Anonymous said...

woah, dude go teach sum social studies/ econs @ ah beng skool ah! confirm they learn oreddy tok kong 1! ahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

si bey chor! si bey ho! ler gong tio liao!

Ivan Chan Heng Liang said...

I'd like to see a 'colourful' commentary from Rockson on this disgraceful Gay Pride Month.

Anonymous said...

wow...really love yr blog. u give my boring life a new lift.

Anonymous said...

Swee ah. If got poll, lim peh vote for your blog.

Anonymous said...

Buddha's pearls of money prudence:-
(1)Don't be fooled by the low downpayment - banks are worse than ah longs.
(2) Instalments will kill you and buying on credit simply makes you overspend.
(3) Jobs are not forever. Not many metallic ricebowls out there unless you are he-who-must-not-be-named

Anonymous said...

Rockson, buddy.
One thing's for sure.
If one has to be sucessful, one has to rise above Human Nature.

My GF & I hold first, don't wanna buy HDB flat now. For what?

Join the whole gin gang to Q for something I don't even own?

I might as well stay my mom's 4 room flat. At least, my olde folks take care of our child.
Mom's working and 2 of us are working. So share the burden.

Stupid fellas then go and get the flat. Then get yourself into debts,debts and debt.
What abt renovation? Furniture....Nice thinking!
Factor into your plans buddy!

Lau kwee? Ferget it!
I rather lau kwee then get myself in knee deep debts man!

You fellow countrymen,
Take Ownership of your Lives, the Gahman will not, shall not and does not give a DAMN about your guys except are you paying your dues or not!
Understand?

Anonymous said...

i stopped driving 2 years ago. saved a bundle from taxes, erps, inspection, insurance, petrol. I intend to sell off my flat. rent for the rest of my life. i work my butt 7 days a week morning to night and this year the govt as k me for $7100 in income taxes, $8000 in medisave and any extra medisave which used to go to ordinary account to pay my flat is changed now. it goes to special account which you can't touch. so more cash each month to pay home loan. Folks - don't be fooled by the illusions spun by he-who-must-not-be-named. wise up. be cash rich and mobile. otherwise you die up to your nose in debt

Anonymous said...

hi, how come you didnt mention lawrence in this log? where was he, it seemed that you only talk to Raymond?

Anonymous said...

Eeh... Is LSB really that fun? Whats so interesting abt rubbing some old breasts?

Anonymous said...

~_~ fucking funny blogger...i dont like blog but i sure do like your joke...

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