Monday, August 22, 2005

Went to Month of Hungry Ghost Festival auction

Last night, Ah Seng invited me to go for the Hungry Ghost auction. I long time never go for one already. He was there as helper. Better than having no job and nothing to do. He every year also got help do this thing anyway.

Computer Boy Lawrence (CB Lawrence hahaha!!) went to Batam with his friends for a fucking weekend. These few days he quite sian, so need to find some way to forget his problem. He told me his company a lot of his old friend left or kena retrench already, especially the Singaporean. Below him all the junior is now from India and on top of him, all the senior is ang moh. He said, I feel like a Singapore hamburger, kena fuck by overseas ah neh in the backside, and kena suck ang moh cock in front. Soon even me also will have no job, kena replace by cheaper PRC, KNNBCCB, he said.

So he said he at work already kena fuck, so might as well go and find girl to fuck on weekend. I hope he got bring his safety belt. Actually I already told Lawrence Seventh Month don't go oversea. Swimming and going oversea is not good idea during the Hungry Ghost month. Not say I pan tang, but better to don't try your luck. You see the Kallang river, every year swallow people. And I heard also got people die in Australia this year. Hungry Ghost month don't fucking play play.

I didn't know he so sian at work. I thought computer line quite ok one. But Lawrence said nowadays what fucking line also not good, except working as gahmen. Last time another good line was NKF charity line, but even that one also now not good job liao, and NKF not only kena whole world condemn them, but I heard now got CAD (the office worker police) play their backside.

Lawrence said he got two choice. Upgrade himself or do illegal pirate business. Go Malaysia get the computer cd cheap cheap, come here and sell. But he saw the three fella kena caught for pirating song so he a bit scared. Like the police don't have murderer or robber to catch, now very free catch the download song people. What the fuck man.

He want to migrate but he said a few of his friends go oversea, same problem, no job. There worse, here in Singapore the ang moh is king, there in other country the ang moh is king and citizen, and they not like Singapore, they give chance to their citizen first.

So I sit at my table with Raymond (I drive him here one), just watching the whole thing. The auction guy can really talk, man. Lai ah lai ah, $888 Fatt fatt fatt ah!!!

What thing also he can sell. The thing all look like cheap thing, but people still bid high high. Got gold got frog got charcoal. All is got good luck type. Cheebye man, if I got money I also buy, who don't need good luck in life, right?

But this year like quieter. People don't bid so high like last time. Not as many getai, auction or wayang. The cheebye president election wayang (dong dong chiang!!!) is not counted, ok, hahahaha!!!

Must be economy is like shit. I dunno how the gahmen can count the growth and say what 4% or 5%. The only thing I see growing is my lan cheow and the price of everything.

Where got 5%? Got!

GST is 5% lor, cheebye! You see the car COE you already know. Low until cannot low. And the Hungry Ghost festival getai and show is all smaller.

Raymond said to me, you know why this year got less auction? Because this year NKF not involve! They too busy let CAD play their kar chng hahaha!!!

Around the auction place is the HDB car park. Many of the car that is park there tonight is the people who come for the auction show one. I can see around 9pm onwards, got some car look like the driver live here one, trying to find their parking lot but all full house. Round and round cannot find. Must be damn toolan for them, pui chow nua. I also no choice, I park until quite far away, the car park is next to some grass land and a big old tree, and the street light not working, a bit dark dark.

A lot of us who park there never put coupon. Because Sunday free, no need to pay. After 10pm then is season parking only. Somemore later if the auntie come we can see and run to our car to drive away.

The place got a lot of smoke. Dunno is it because they burning the joss stick and hell money paper, or is it the Indonesia that side the fire send us the haze.

Nabei, every chow chee bye year the Indonesia side burn the tree, because it is cheap way of make the land good for farming. Every chow chee bye year the Indonesia gahmen act blur, because the Malaysia and Indonesia fucker businessman bribe them to act blur. In the end every chow chee bye year the whole KL and Singapore sky all kena this haze, make people sick, and make me cannot go KL to chiong. Fuck their mothercheebye for this chow chee bye burning. Should lock this dirty businessman inside one house and let them smell their own smoke until they die. Cheebye.

My table also got a few other people. One of them is a hawker, his name is Tua Tow, because his head very big. He say his name is David. I was thinking sound like that singer David Tao, but this one is David the Tua Tow hahahaha!!!

Tua Tow mother was a famous hawker.

We were complaining about how come thing in Singapore getting more and more expensive and harder and harder to survive.

I said to Tua Tow, eh, nowadays the hawker and coffee shop food also getting more expensive liao, cannot even find the $1.50 or $2 price anymore. Why liddat?

He said bo pian. Want to charge less also cannot. Last time my mother is the hawker, the market stall rental is less than $700 one month, Tua Tow said. Now the market kena upgrade to nice nice by Gahmen, the rental go up also. KNNCCB, he said, how to survive? My mother die that time, the Gahmen offer me because I am the son to take over the place, but the rental jump until $2000 plus almost $3000. I don't make the price of my food more expensive, I cannot continue do this line.

Tua Tow said, you just wait lor. Next time no more cheap market food liao. When all the old hawker die, the CCB gahmen will up the rent and your char kuay teow will not be $2 liao.

The auction show run until very late. 11pm still the fella shouting into the microphone $128! $388! $888!!!

Suddenly got one guy shout, Nabei! Auntie lai liao!!!!

This mean the parking auntie come and check, so we all get up and run like siao lang to our car to drive away before they can summon us and give us ang pow. Wa lao eh, the new parking aunties who is private company one now is so fucking on the ball, must be their commission is better.

The two parking auntie that come still is booking the cars in front, so I think good, haven't reach me yet. My baobei car is park inside quite far. But very funny, I walk like walk very long time and never reach my car. Dunno how come. I remember I walk from my car to the auction show that time, feels like only 3 minute. Now the parking auntie come, and I try to go my car, is like more than 15 minute walk.

After a long long time, I can see my car liao. Park next to the broken lamp post, at the grassland there. Cheebye! I saw one auntie standing there going to give me ticket. How I know they send so many auntie come and book people?

I don't understand how come, but this auntie the uniform is not the same as the auntie I saw just now. This auntie is like wearing old parking auntie uniform, not the new private company uniform one. I cannot see her face, maybe because quite dark and I standing a few cars away.

Then I also saw she not using those mini computer to print my ticket, but using the old paper and pen style. I didn't know they still using this kind of parking ticket leh.

I want to go and talk to her and ask to give chance one, but I think nowadays they don't give chance one, somemore she already write her ticket. Aiyah let her book lah. KNNBCCB. So I turn to walk back to join my friends.

When I walking away, I suddenly smell the franjeepenny flower smell and also like heard my name kena call. Rockson... Rockson...

I thought maybe is the wind or Ah Seng is calling me (but cannot be, is a woman voice leh). Anyway I walk back to the auction show. The walk also seem like long time, like 15 minutes like that. Walk walk walk. Like neverending.

When I reach back, Raymond saw me and said wah so fast come back ah?

I look at him and said No what, I go quite long what, dunno why the walk like so far. And somemore KNN kena orh gong by the parking auntie wearing the old uniform one and using old style paper summon.

Raymond look at me funny and said, you kena summon meh?

Ya! Fuck man, I said.

Raymond look at me funny again and said, cannot be what. The two auntie just now came until the first few car, then we all run out that time, they stand there a while, and then go away liao. The two of them never walk to your car that side, you know? So how can you kena summon?

Got kena! I said. Must be a third auntie her minah friend lah!

Raymond said eh, you must be seeing things lah. This car park only got one way in, and we all only saw two auntie come and then go, never go your side. Don't have third auntie lah! And where got auntie now use paper summon one!

I look at him, he look at me.

Want to take taxi? I ask him.

Ya, your car tomorrow morning then come and get lah, Raymond said.

I also say.

So we tell Ah Seng bye bye, and tell Tua Tow good luck his food stall business, and walk very fast to the main road to call taxi.

When I reach home that time, is already about 11.45pm. I walk past my neighbour house and heard their tv got Channel News Asia talking about Small Lee's National Day speech. Must be that time I was at the auction they show the speech one. Never mind, next few days sure got fucking repeat and repeat and repeat.

Then I reach my door.

Then I say KNNBCCB.

I left my house key inside my car.

256 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Cool blog! Very Singaporean and very funny.. the best so far!

Anyway if bored I came across another similar blog.. funny too.. maybe can keep you all entertained... www.sugarbf.blogspot.com

Ki Koon La said...

wah liew rockson faster write new entree can or not? I think the next day he go collect car dat time the ghost auntie bang him lor now in hospital recovering from horse infection.

Xiao Qian said...

I still find ur blog very funny. never fails to make me luff....especially when im very sad now.....when's ur next entry coming?

Anonymous said...

Wa liao, anonymous,

just went to www.sugarbf.blogspot.com, its so different from rockson's one, please dun insult rockson lah!

Rockson, I am bored, faster write ur next entry lek

IE

Chows Terby said...

Rockson,
chiak chua right?! kin lah! Waiting for what?!
You need topik ah not?! Come, give you some..
Why Singkapolleans are so
1)kia su?
2)racist?
3)gian for food?
4)unable to be cool?(generally lah)

We wanna hear from our #1 chow ah beng blogger!! Harlee upp!!
This is the price of fame..wahahaha

Anonymous said...

cb rockson la
really wanna wait till 300 comment then post izzit?

POST SOMETHING LEH

Anonymous said...

Rockson, I'm curious what do you do for living? Do you happen to be a lawyer or doctor in real life?

I'm also waiting patiently for your next post...I visit your site every 2 hours...can't believe leh? Quick la, get some inspiration and type something!!!

rat said...

wah lau... today 30th aug/ now 4.20 pm. nothing fm Rockson..!!!
fm Rat

RAT said...

rock... tak boleh ..tahan..lah.. WRITE SOMETHING !!!!!!!!!!!!
FM RAT

Anonymous said...

why no update... *wait til got spiderwebs liao*

Anonymous said...

Rockson waiting for 300 comments......Let us fulfil his wish.....

Let guess what will be in his next blog.... 'Small Lee' speech, Poly n ITE, HDB Studio Apt, White Elephants.....

Faster, faster.... can't wait liao....

recruit ong said...

lockson! write sum thing abt chow cb SAF and reservist leh... an also the cb woman charter an how cum woman no need serve National Slavery!

pensivehour said...

nabei lah rockson!
suay suay saw a ghost, sumore parking auntie leh! but heng u nv walk towards her/it, or else ah, u sure tiok bad luck or die of fright. but fuck, did u buy 4d wif ur number anot?
cld be a gd sign leh!
haha
i wanna join ur gang leh rockson!

RAT said...

ROCKSON..!!! U STILL ALIVE??? OI... WRITE..LAH!!! OR I PUT A MISSING PERSON REPORT ..
FM;RAT / TIKUS

RAT said...

ROCKSON..ROCKSON..WRITE..WRITE. WRITE.. WRITE...!!!
FM RAT

Anonymous said...

ccb la'
u wan lim pei wait how long

kak kin blog lah

nb

rhcp said...

eh chao chee bye update your blog la. we waiting like hell.

RAT said...

rockson... NOW ALMOST 8 PM..!!! 30TH AUG 2005 AD...WHAT? U WANT US TO WAIT TILL WHEN.??? 2010 AD AH??..WAH LAU.. !!! WRITE LEH..
FM;RAT

Anonymous said...

oei rockson faster write leh. Can write about NS storie or not? I going NS liao lor.

rat said...

Eh. Rockson..where are u??
a. AWOL
b. U on Reservist..?
c. Your work ah?? keeping u buzzzi?
d. You ' fed up' with yr readers?
e. You want to ' test' to see how
'desperate' we all can be? ah!!

Pleese write some thing lah.. u missing or.. what? ...

rgds, Rat

Anonymous said...

Rockson kana jail by garmen for talking cock and bull that's why no hear from him. Now rocking his kuda in isolution

hungry rat said...

AH. i think the ' hungry ghost '
'got' rockson..for sure...!!!
no response.. since..last.. " hungry ghost blog"..eerr...
fm; rat

Anonymous said...

ahhh..rockson waiting for mth of sept before writing..for sure..lah..

Anonymous said...

rockson...i'm feeling down for a few days already..heart broken...can you cheer me up by updating your blog please?

Anonymous said...

Alamak, Rockson got permanent job as 'landscape technician' at Sentosa issit ?

Anonymous said...

KNNBCCB i think he abandon his blog. NNB update can or not???

kua simi lanjiao said...

wah lan Rockson u still leave yr hsekeys in your car is it??!! chow cheebye still never write....wait until yr horse canot mari kita then u write is it!!?

rat said...

Wah !! Rockson..really ' gone " ah? Prob..Kidnapped ?..
fm rat

RAT said...

NOTICE

MISSING ; MR. ROCKSON
AGE : DUNNO
LAST KNOWN ADDRESS ; DUNNO

REWARD OFFERED; ONE PKT CHICKEN RICE.

IF FOUND; PLS LEAD HIM TO A NEAREST OPERATING PC AND ' MAKE SURE'HE DOES AN ENTRY.

FM RAT

Anonymous said...

Only 235? More more!!!!!!!! I wan 300!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Anonymous said...

rockson..

Anonymous said...

KNNBCCB, you never write for so long liao

Jen said...

hey....you went for holiday is it?? go until dont know how to come back ah? ;-p

photocopying machine said...

where the fuck is rockson... Haiz.... my wednesday is about to be ruin.

Rockson, faster leh.

RAT said...

ROCKSON...!.. FOR GOODNESS SAKE..IF NO TIME..TO WRITE.. JUST DROP A 'SHORT'NOTE ALSO CAN LAH. AT LEAST V KNOW U STILL ALIVE LAH..
FM;RAT

rat said...

I THINK... err.. i m sure.. he is waiting.. to write only on september..lah... so v all hv to wait.. if not.. die lah... dunno when...? maybe christmas.
fm;rat

Anonymous said...

239 comments!!!!!!! c'mon c'mon!!!!!!!!! more more 300 posts leh!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wait until sian liao.....when going to post your next blog....

Anonymous said...

Rockson rocks again. By the way, i am a publisher and keen to work with you. Are you keen? Can you send me an email at jaylhm@singnet.com.sg

Anonymous said...

moody this week bcos Rockson doesn't blog

Anonymous said...

If you don't write a post before the end of this month, we will all have to assume that your blog has been shut down involuntarily...

Anonymous said...

we need to engage a PI to locate our beloved Rockson

Anonymous said...

CCB Rockson, why MIA? don't want to blog liao

rat said...

Wah... he is really " gone !!"
wah lau.
fm rat

rat said...

checked.. at now after 7 pm... no sign..of rockson.. ugh!!! maybe tmw.. sept..2005 lah.. or...or maybe.. yah..like ' one'said.. he wants the 300 ' hits' on the comments column.. mmm. My theory.. he wants to see..how..BLOODY FRUSTRATED we call can be.. as a measure of his success.. lah..hahahahhaha.. rockson..tolong..lah..write something.. before v all go kazzzy..
fm; rat

Anonymous said...

Rockson you died already is it?:) How come 1 week+ never post already. KNNBCCB

Anonymous said...

He is busy putting 'elephants' at Buangkok and then assisting Vixxxn to auction them at getai?

Anonymous said...

i think this fucker dont even read our comments, forget it man. i think the ghost he saw come fnid him den bite his horse. nbbccb

Anonymous said...

yo guys!! dun get so work out over a beng blogger la.. all of you i believe can write better than him la!! just some cockish storyline to laugh yr ass off only ma..
take it easy guys!!

RAT said...

OI ROCKSON... OI!!!! TWO HOURS MORE 1ST SEPT... SO HOW.? U WRITING FOR SEPT?? OR MAYBE.. OCT?
WAH..LAU... U DRIVING US KAZZZY MAN.. !!!NEVER KNOW A ' BLOG' CAN BE SOOOO ADDICTIVE.... SO HOW?.
WRITE LA.. EVEN A FEW WORDS...TO SAY.. U BUZZZY ALSO CAN LAH..
FM RAT

sun said...

srockson long time c ur blog .. very missed can pls quick quick blog

Anonymous said...

what the fuck lah... so hiong..

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