I like Umbrella Girl!

Lawrence just send me this video about a fight between some Singaporean and two mechanic (they sound like Malaysian) at a workshop. FUCKING funny lah!

I like the Umbrella Girl, man! FUCK! She damn fierce can? Scold Pua Chee Bye like a SUPER LIAN! Rockson LIKE!

Look at her run after the fella with her fucking umbrella! Look! She is like Xiao Long Nu like that! Sexy like fuck!

Then later she even use leg to kick the fella, and her panty all can see! Rockson Horse LIKE EVEN MORE!

This kind of fierce girl sure very good in bed one! Like riding wild horse like that! Rockson Horse can open her umbrella wide wide lor! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You can see the whole video here. I think tonight I will watch this video and play with my Horse. UMBRELLA GIRL, WHO ARE YOU? COME AND PLAY WITH ROCKSON!

Rockson Love Serina Swee!!!

CHEEBYE!!!!! You got see the Shitty Harvest Church case or not? Their pastor Gong Hee is so rich and can use church money to make his horseface wife, Some Ho, into sexy pop star in America! 

I didn't know do sexy dance in music video can help people believe in God one! But Gong Hee say it is for Crossed Over Project! So the money can anyhow fucking move here move there because it is all God money!

But the best reason I am interested in the case is one of the kena charge member! Their ex finance manager Serina Swee! I see her photo already I also want to become christian, man! My horse also want to join!

I am officially starting the Rockson Love Serina fan club here! Here is some of her photo!

She look so business woman in the photo up there! Like those OL I like! She can punish me anytime! Serina! I never do the accounts properly! Scold me! Tie me up!  Spank my backside!

You see how her dressing is fucking very style? Holding her expensive handbag also got style! Serina is like a angel! Even though her neh neh is not very big, we can forgive her!

 This is the Serina Lookdown look. Her hair is cover her face one side, sexy like fuck!

Again! Her hair-cover-half-the-face look! It is very sexy and make my horse very excited. But I am thinking, KNN how she see when she is walking, if her hair always cover one eye like that?

Serina and her one-eye look again but she got two people to help her to see now.

Here, Serina have to pull her hair one side to use both eye to see so she won't fall down. Still look cheebye hot!

Serina is looking like she is thinking, where am I going to shopping to make myself look even more chio?

Two other woman is in this photo with Serina but Serina is like a fucking sun, she is a fucking shining star and they are like the space rock flying around her!

Serina look at the camera and the camera also become a christian.

Serina got SMILE! She is pointing at something! That something became christian!

New look Serina! Fucking chio also! Hair tie behind and wear different kind of dress! From OL to Bored Housewife! I also like!

New look Serina climbing the stairs! The stairs also become christian! 

I hope this trial last a long time. Then I can collect more photos of Serina for my collection! She should start her own fucking church! Serina Harvest Church! I sure join!

Every week we will sing pop christian song of how great Serina is! She will be our goddess of love! And we will give all our money to her to put into her accounts! 

Give money to church is call tits-thing right? We will tits-thing every week!

And if we can get enough people to donate millions of dollar, we will fly Serina to America in a fucking first class aeroplane to become a pop star and let her stay in the $28k a month Hollywood house of Some Ho! Ask Horseface to come back because Serina can be the new China Wine! My horse will cross over to help her too! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

I am Angel of Heaven Rockson Takumi Tan!!! You will kiss my Horse!!!

Today I decided that fucking hell, I will quit my job and become religion leader. Start a temple, start a church, maybe even start a cheebye kidney charity. I know! I will start a Rockson Kidney Temple of Church!

I didn't know that become a paster can make so much money! You just need to tell people god want you to become rich and they will give you all their hard earn money! Even after gahmen charge me in court, my believer will still think I am a holy man. This is a very strong power to have.

I will call myself Senior Holy Priest of All the God in the World, Angel of Heaven Rockson Takumi Tan. I will be handsome and famous and look like Korean pop star like Rain or Big Bang!  My Horse will be Big Bang big, my skin will very smooth, and I will say very clever thing. Like: 

"I am Angel of Heaven Rockson Takumi Tan! Hear me talk, you useless motherfucker! You must give all your money to my god who will give the money to me to use to do all his work! If you don't give me your cheebye money, you all will die and go to hell! HELL!!!! GO TO FUCKING HELL!!!"

"How I know you love the Rockson Tan god? By how much you give the fucking money! Give until you cry! Give until your kachng open a new hole! Give until your liver explode and your lancheow fall off! Yes all must give! Rich also must give! Poor also must give! You are the cleaner in the hawker centre making only fucking $800 a month? GIVE TO ROCKSON!!! ROCKSON WILL TELL GOD TO MAKE YOU FUCKING CHEEBYE RICH!"

"What? Why I am driving Jaguar and have 19 other luxury car? Why I am live in big private house? Why I am must fly First Fucking Class go to other country? Because I am your fucking religion leader and god choose me to do his work! You think be a Angel of Heaven is very easy, is it? Have to look after so many thousand of you and still fly to other country! Kanena it is a hard life ok?

If you work hard and keep give Rockson's god your money so he can give me the money to do his work, one day you also can drive big car. live big house and fly first class! If you die in this life before you get all this fucking money, don't worry, you can still be rich!!! IN HEAVEN!!!"

"If after all your giving, you are not rich, and you are still poor, and you are still a fucking road sweeper, then it is because you did not give enough to Rockson's god! This is your fucking punishment! You ngeow fucker is obviously not love Rockson's god enough! Because if you really love him, you will give more money! Be poor is no fucking excuse!!!"

"Like this then he can bless you with much more money later! Look at me! I was poor fucker last time, now god is love me and reward me all this money when I listen to him and open this Rockson Kidney Temple of Church!!!"

"Some of you fuckers already kena bless by Rockson's god by joining me, right? Insurance agent, property agent, even fucking MLM agent, got so many customer from my Kidney Temple of Church, right? You all cheebye bin, I should get commission from all of you agents, man! Hahahahahahaha!!!"

"Who is this woman? She is the new singer I want to promote! She is fucking good singer! Her name is Tai Yang Xiao Jie! She is from China and fucking chio! I met her in the Club 38DD Big Melon Pub and Karaoke last week! She sing in the karaoke very well! You should see her use the microphone! Don't worry, my believers! She will help us to promote our religion! I only need a few million dollar to make her fucking famous! Then she is famous already she can tell all the No Religion people who listen to those take drugs kind of techno music to come to our Rockson Kidney Temple of Church!"

"What? Are we using your hard earn money to promote her music career? FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND? I am your Angel of Heaven Rockson Takumi Tan! You dare to question me? Of course I never use your money to promote Tai Yang Xiao Jie! I use my own fucking money ok? Just believe me can already. I am Senior Holy Priest of All the God in the World. I can do no wrong. Rockson's god won't allow me to make mistake one."

"Of course we must put her in a big house in USA! She must look like a big star, like she got golden cheebye! The rent is only $30,000 a month! And now US dollar is so low, it is like a fucking discount! Remember what we need her to do! Become a international pop star so she can sell our Rockson Kidney Temple of Church to USA also! Who will believe a pop star is staying in a fucking HDB flat in USA, right?"

"You see how many people watch her Youtube video already? Million and million! Chow chee pong! My followers! You must support her and click her Youtube a few times a day, ok?"

Her Tai Yang CD sell faster than Top Geylang Cheebye! But don't worried! We still got one million CD in the Kidney Temple of Church store room! And we only spend $30 million dollar so far! You think we spend all this money is kam lan?"

"Already got famous black rappist sing with her in her music video! Our religion sure grow in USA! Who don't like black rappist sing techno with Chinese girl, right? The chow angmoh is all love black horse and Chinese sexy Ah Lian one!!! They see her already sure pak chiu cheng one!"

"Ok! Remember next week is our Give Until You Feel Like Vomiting Week. We need a new church building because our building is no space already, and we need to buy Orchard Ion. Maybe Wisma Atria next door. I want to convert Wisma Atria become my next house because it is good for me to live near the new church building. Orchard Ion downstairs is MRT, so more believer can come to Rockson Kidney Temple of Church to learn how to be successful. Don't worry, the gahmen won't mind one."

"If after we finish building our new Rockson Kidney Temple of Church, we have some leftover money, we can give some to charity. We are a fucking religion and we must do some good thing, right? Pua cheebye, it's quite late already. I still have to go home watch UEFA Euro 2012. Let us pray."

That will be my speech as Angel of Heaven Rockson Takumi Tan. I think can work. But Lawrence tell me I sure go jail one. Fuck the bo chee Lawrence, always spoil my plan. If I don't be a religion leader, maybe I can be online Or Gui Tao. Both also make money by helping people get fuck. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

Teo Ser Fuck shouting PAP name for fuck?

Lawrence sent me this video today. Told me it is the PAP fucker Teo Ser Luck at election rally.

I didn't know the cheebyekia speaking power is so lousy one.

Why he even shout his own name at the end? Fucking laokui right?

"Can you leave one last cheer for me? TEO SER LUCK! TEO SER LUCK!"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Then the camera show the people, like only a few people watching. Look like he talking to himself like that.

My Horse can give better speech than this fucker.

(If you want to download this video for yourself, go to this link)

Nicole Seah is my favourite new election XMM!!!!!

KNN just when I thought PAP the Tin Pei Ling was the most chio politics girl, fucking cheebye Lawrence send me this photo of new and youngest politician girl to join the election: NICOLE SEAH!!!!!

Fuck man, this time Opposition is really win the PAP in the young and chioness department. 24 years old only and she dare to join the other side instead of tompang minister into the parliment. I RESPECT!

All the time I thought NSP is a fucking Ah Pek Party (should be call APP hahahahaha!) but look like they want to show they can also be Now Sexy Party!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!

My Horse see Nicole Seah already also want put his Horse hand up and join Opposition.

Here is another photo of her:

Fucking CHIO!!!!!!

Last time I heard she is Reformer Party one. Must be she damn toolan the Kenner Jeyafatham, the son of the famous JB's Jeyafatham, that's why she join the Now Sexy Party. That Kenner must be another cheebye kia. His Reformer Party got so many people in and out, in and out, like the Changi Village 20-cent public toilet like that.

I already like her Facebook page because I am sure got many more photo of her will come out. Nabei, she can come and give my Horse walkabout anytime! I sure buy her newsletter one!

Actually now I see the NSP logo, remind me of look like someone head explode. Another angle also look like kachng hole explode! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Nabei got her video liao! Just skip all the fucking boring Ah Pek and the warehouse assistant talking in front! After one minute my Little Nonya talk! Her voice is just as sexy as her face!

Tin Pei Ling, sexy PAP XMM!

Diu! Who is this fucking chio ger?

Lawrence just send me this photo. Her name is Tin Pei Ling! He say it is new PAP candidate who is youngest to run in this year election! 27 years old only! Fucking chio man!

I don't know why she holding this paper bag from a brand call kate spade. Maybe she like gardening! I want to show her my spade also! My spade is call Horse!!! Hahahahahahahaha!

Just seeing her doing the kawaii sign I already steam. Then Lawrence send me this photo of her wearing her official PAP uniform!

knn! Even more sexy! I can tell she like her man to be fast, because she got the lightning badge on her chest! When I drive my baobei car, I am also fast as lightning!

And she even wear the white shirt with one button on top never button, lancheow tease or not! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!

I find out she is in charge of the PAP internet department, and Lawrence say she intend to use "social media to reach out to the younger generation" in this coming election, "to build friendship online"!

This make me very excited because Lawrence show me her Twitter page. Wah! Her profile is got beach photo! Maybe even bikini kind!

But when I look for her Twitter name call @tinrina it is GONE!!! Fucking GONE! And her new Twitter account is LOCKED kind!

I see that lock I damn sian! Cheebye! How to build fucking friendship online like this?

But I am not scared. I already apply to be her friend on Twitter. I waiting for her to open her lock to let me come inside.

Come inside. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Temasick Review, the Wanbao of Internet Politics Blog, got publish these photo of her and some fat fuck. Nabei! Leave my Pei Ling alone! This cannot be her boyfriend! This kind of standard will never be able to be her man!

Lawrence tell me her husband is the private secretary of PM Mini-Lee and he is a 40 years old man. I don't know why she want to marry a man so fucking old and at the same time, got a girl job as a secretary.

Leave your old secretary husband and choose me, Pei Ling! My name is Rockson! And my Horse and me will vote for you! That is TWO VOTES! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

VOTE PEI LING FOR MINISTER OF ROCKSON'S HORSE!!!!!!

----

Lawrence just made this cute moving icon of idol for me. The pundek is so fucking solid with his puki computer when he is not watching his Japanese AV.

Right-click this link for the smaller version.

Nabei, I can fucking watch this for hours.

KNN, I make a YPAP Chairman of Toa Payoh angry

Just came back from chionging at St James Power Station and Lawrence told me the last few days got a lot of people talking about me and the Cheo Ming Shen guy who say Lee Kuan Yew is like Nelson Mandela.

I said Fuck you lah, where got? Then Lawrence (he sometimes help me read my Twitter because I got no time and he is also more techno than me) show me this link of Temasek Reveals, a famous internet website that talk about politics, like Strait Time, but without the carry PAP balls part (I like their sponsor advertisements the most, because got show many local chiobu to date).

Here is the headline:

YPAP leader engaged netizens in vulgarity war

Another website also got mention this on their Facebook page.

Nabei! I didn't know this cheebyekia is also Young PAP Chairman of Toa Payoh East! I only know he was boss of Muffnang, a internet company that sell blogger advertisement and internet banner to big company that dunno people don't click or look at banner anymore (at first I even thought it was sell cheebye one).

Fuck man, if I know he is YPAP, I won't anyhow call him cheebyekia on my Twitter lor.

PAP people is very powerful one, even the Young one. They can call their lawyer sue you, call ISD come and catch you, and even cassette you as politics association.

I heard from Lawrence that a guy call The Online Citizen just kena cassette by PAP (I think this website very powerful! One citizen can write so many thing!). When PAP give you the cassette, you must register then they tie the cassette tape around your lampa tight tight until you cannot breathe. Very painful, I heard. Don't ask me why PAP use cassette, nowadays we all use iPod already. My baobei car also no more cassette deck, only CD and mp3 player.

Fucking cheebye, if the Online Citizen he can kena cassette, then I also can kena cassette lor. I am just a Nobody Blogger who like to talk lancheow words and fuck gers! I heard politics association cannot take money from foreigner. This actually don't affect me so much. Normally is I give money to foreigner who show me her talent. Hahahahahahahaha!

KNN, it is very stupid of me to call a YPAP Chairman a cheebyekia like this. One day, he can become a Minister then hunt for me how? Somemore his kind is rich (he got $10000 to buy Lao Lee's new book with Lao Lee signature ok? I don't even have enough money to buy the normal No-Lao-Lee signature one lor!). And he is so young is already call himself a boss (his Twitter account, Lawrence told me, is @bossming), and is those win Young Enterporner award kind of boss ok?

I should have know he is a very powerful man from his photo, who show his special guitars and got his own rubber chicken. Here is another photo of this powerful man doing busy things on his powerful computer!

And I heard he have many friend like MP Josephine Teo because I heard he help her in the Meet the Peoples session!

Actually talk about Josephine Teo, I think she is one of the most chiobu PAP MP around. Not the usual fat and ugly fuckface woman they usually find. She is a General in the NTUC somemore. I will Upturn her Downturn any time, man! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Maybe I should try to be a better Online Citizen and help at those PAP event. Can go and tell the resident their MP is coming please open the door, can make friend with chiobu MP like Josephine, and maybe one day can ride a big minister to win a GRC!

KNN, my Horse is so big, can win a GRC all by himself, I think! Hahahahahahahaahahaha!